Page 28 of Pleasuring Professor Pisces
Last night, I let him know that I was upset about how casually he had fucked me and walked away afterward. He told me that he was upset about how easily I dismissed his feelings and made it seem like he only wanted sex.
That was when he proceeded to lay out his feelings for me. I wanted to indulge in the beauty of love so badly. Yet it wasn’t easy when I didn’t know what would happen if someone found out about us. Even after he graduated, if they learned I had been involved with a student, I would be reprimanded for unethical behavior. It would only underscore the accusations that had been made against me in the past. I was certain this time that I would not dodge a bullet and that my employment would be terminated.
The problem this time was that I knew that I deserved it. People would side-eye me about the previous allegations. Then there was the issue of getting another job as a professor. When other academic institutions learned why I had been released,they would not touch me with a ten-foot pole. I would be a liability, and no school wanted to take that risk. They would feel they were opening themselves up to lawsuits.
I arrived at school ten minutes late, but no one said a word. When I slipped into my classroom, my students were either studying, on their phones, or, in the case of a few of them, taking a nap. When my first class was over, I received a breakfast delivery from Brew ‘N’ Sip. I was confused as to where it came from because I hadn’t ordered anything. But when I opened the bag, beside the receipt was a little note that read, “Enjoy, beautiful. S.”
There was only one person who would do that. To know that he thought about me long after I left brought a smile to my face that refused to go away. I struggled throughout the next class not to giggle and to school my face into a mask of professional composure. It scared me to feel this giddy over the attention that Salem was showing me, though, partly because I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, and partly because I couldn’t focus on shit because I was always thinking about him.
This feeling was dangerous, and I began to feel like no good could come of it. I waited for my third class of the day, because that was when I would see Salem. But when the time rolled around, I didn’t see him casually strolling into my room with that sexy ass swagger, beautiful but mischievous smile, or that arrogant attitude.
I was confused and thought that he may just be running late. But when the end of class came, and Salem still had not shownup, I began to question what was going on. I pulled out my phone and called him on the way to the bathroom, but it went straight to voicemail. I tried again after using the bathroom and received the same result.
I finished my next class and called him again. I got nothing. I finally resorted to texting him to ask if he was okay, and I still got no response. I packed my things up after my last class and headed to my office. I had office hours with a few students scheduled.
I hated that I had to see students when I wasn’t feeling my best emotionally. It took everything in me to concentrate, answer their questions, address their concerns, and give them the guidance that they needed.
By the time the day was over, I was physically exhausted and emotionally drained. I had the best sleep ever when I spent the night in Salem’s arms. I felt secure, loved, and protected. But by the end of the day, those feelings were as elusive as they had been prior to me meeting Salem.
I thought about how he had fucked me so angrily, and how I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be with someone so possessive and jealous. Then I thought about the wedge that I felt between us when I had left his place this morning. I was certain that this was his way of pushing me out. Because I was so indecisive about us, he was punishing me. Maybe it was for the best.
I made up my mind that I could not go on that way. Although I wasn’t certain what happened, I knew that I did not like the way that it made me feel. I decided to end things. It was best for both of us. He could go on with his life and meet someone free to be with him openly. And I would go on with my life and dream about what could have been.
My body was drainedas fuck. I had always been careful about what I put in my body, but I had been so distracted about being with Koi that I had not questioned the shit that I ate from that little Mexican restaurant. After we finished, and I told her how good it was, she told me that it was a little hole-in-the-wall place that she frequented because she loved their food and mojitos.
It didn’t bother me right away. I woke up through the night feeling a little queasy, but I hadn’t thought much of it. I remained in bed holding my baby and not wanting to move from her side. But when I woke up the next morning to her panicked frenzy over being late, I noticed that my stomach felt odd.
I tried going back to bed, but I couldn’t rest comfortably. I kept tossing and turning and feeling nauseous every fewminutes. I finally got up when I couldn’t rest and ordered some food for Koi. I knew her little ass wouldn’t eat, especially when she was running late. It felt like I was always feeding her. If I didn’t, she wouldn’t eat, end of story.
I didn’t mind though. Nourishing her body and her soul was my job, and that was what I wanted to do to make sure that she was whole and complete. I may have sold dope at an early age, and I may have had to get it out the mud with Ma Dukes, but she never failed to pour love, wisdom, and affirmations into me. I had a damn good mama, who let me know that my cheating ass daddy had decided that he didn’t want to be a daddy if he couldn’t have her too.
She had decisions to make, and she decided raising me on her own was far better than raising me with a sometimey ass nigga who might be there and might not be, a man who disrespected her on every occasion. It was important to my mama that, as a man, I knew how to behave toward women, treat women, and love them. So she taught me that vital lesson herself. And now, it was time for me to pour all of that back into Koi, if she would let me.
Not long after I ordered the food for her, my phone died, and I couldn’t find my charger. I gave up the search for it and tossed my phone somewhere, because a bout of nausea hit me that wouldn’t be ignored.
That shit rocked my body so hard, I felt like somebody came through and kicked my ass. As a grown man, I had been through some shit, but that brought me to my knees, literally.
I had spent Friday morning all the way through to Sunday evening in bed with a fever, throwing up, and fighting off chills. That shit made me feel like I had the flu. I couldn’t find my phone and lost all energy because I couldn’t keep shit down. I thought I was fucking dying for a minute.
I kept hoping that Koi would show up once she realized that I hadn’t called, texted, or shown up at school. When she didn’t, I knew that I was fucked. I suffered through the weekend on my own because my mama was in Vegas on a girls’ trip.
Sunday evening, when she returned, her first stop was to check on me. When she found me sick, she nursed me back to health, spending the night and making sure that I had homemade chicken noodle soup, ginger ale, and crackers. She told me that it was nothing but food poisoning. When I thought back to the last thing I ate, I knew it was those damn birria tacos.
This morning, I felt as right as rain. I jumped up, showered, and got dressed. My mama told me she would have my house cleaned and disinfected and be gone by the time I returned.
I told my mama all about Koi. She advised me to be patient with Koi because it wasn’t easy for a woman to love again after she had been hurt. I knew that she knew what she was talking about. Still, the shit wasn’t easy.
“Professor H, can I holler at you for a minute?” I asked, walking up to her as she made her way across campus.
She had avoided me the entire class period, not calling on me for answers, not making eye contact, or anything. I had arrived at school early and tried to get on her schedule for her early morning office hours, but her assistant told me she was booked. I kind of felt like her ass was lying, but I let her make it.
After class, Koi had avoided me, saying that she was running late for a meeting. That happened all day after every class. Now that her class hours and office hours were over, I wasn’t taking no for an answer. I didn’t give a shit who saw us. I had been leaning against a tree near the staff parking lot. If she got fired, fuck ’em. I’d take care of my woman. I hadn’t disclosed to Koi all my sources of income.
My paternal grandfather had passed while I was in prison. Apparently, he had learned about my existence when I wassixteen and had been looking for me. He had several properties that he transferred to my name before his death. He had left me a letter stating how he wished he had known about me.
He prayed that I would be nothing like my father, whom he said had never been shit. He told me that if my father hadn’t given me anything during my grandfather’s life, then he would leave nothing to my father after his death. He meant that shit.
He shut off all income to my sperm donor and advised that nigga to get it back in blood. That nigga left four houses, some paintings, and some bonds to me in his will, along with half a million dollars. All of which I would earn when I hit twenty-six, the age my father, Daniel Spears, was when he impregnated my mother, Prina, with me. Hence, my reason for modeling, to earn money and keep a nigga out of jail.
