Page 31 of My Secret Duke
A glance about showed her that her grandmother was watching. Another glance, and she saw Prince Nikolai was watching too.
Olivia knew she needed to put an end to the sense of intimacy that was developing between Ivo and herself. She needed to stop it once and for all.
Desperately, she said, “If you must know, I was wondering what the prince’s castle in Holtswig is like. Castles, I should say, because I believe he has several. I imagine they are quite luxurious.”
His smile faded, and the warmth left his handsome face. “Is that really what you want, Olivia? A luxurious castle and a cold husband?”
He made it sound wretched, but her smile grew brighter. “Nothing would please me more!” she said enthusiastically.
His gaze delved into hers, as if he was trying to discover whether she was being truthful, and then he nodded decisively.
“Then I wish you luck. I fear you will need it.”
The music ended and he stepped back with a polite bow before walking away. She watched his back, aware of an aching emptiness inside at his departure. Sensing someone’s gaze upon her, she turned, and once again, there was her grandmother. The dowager nodded her head in warm approval.
Olivia did not remember anyone ever showing her that sort of approval. Not her mother or her father, and not her grandmother until recently. It felt good. As if she was doing something right at last. She was determined to keep winning those looks from the dowager. And eventually, she hoped, that hollow ache in her chest would go away.
Chapter Fourteen
Ivo found it difficult to sleep. He knew he should not have said what he said to Olivia, even if it was true. He should have offered her encouragement and support. But how could he? He knew marrying Prince Nikolai would be a dreadful mistake. Yes, the prince might be rich and well connected, but Ivo believed that if she leg-shackled herself to that man, the bright, adventurous spirit inside her would wither and die. She would be forced into a mold that she did not fit, and it would eventually destroy her.
At the age of twenty-seven, Ivo had had his share of liaisons. For a time, he had even kept a mistress, but that had ended when she had up and married. It hadn’t been love—Ivo did not think he had ever been in love—which was why this “feeling” he had for Olivia Ashton was so bloody confusing. After his proposal to her, he had thought his turbulent emotions would eventually settle, and he could be comfortable again. So far, that hadn’t happened, and he suspected it wouldn’t until he could have a good, long period of time without being in her presence. Kissing her and dancing with her only made things worse, and he was guiltily aware they had made things worse for her too.
Ivo groaned. What had he been thinking during those times they met together, before the disaster of the Elphinstones’ musical evening? He admitted he hadn’t been thinking much at all. He had wanted to be with Olivia. Her company was like a bright star in his day, andyes, he had probably had ideas of kissing her and seeing where that led, but he had swiftly decided he did not want to hurt her. When he was with her, Ivo grew a conscience, which was very much at odds with his usual reckless behavior. He even felt ashamed of some of the foolish things he had done in the past, although he had refused to admit it.
Until now.
When they had kissed in the garden, it had felt like he had come home. But the precious moment with her in his arms did not seem to have meant as much to Olivia—she had shrugged it off easily enough with her talk of castles. Her decision was made, and he must accept it. He must not interfere in her life anymore. Tomorrow, he would make his excuses and go back to Whitmont. When he was once again embroiled in his own busy affairs, he would be able to put his disappointment behind him.
He recalled he had made a bet at his club. A horse race out into the country between himself and another gentleman, with the loser to be ducked into a pond at a nearby inn. It had seemed like an amusing thing to do at the time, but now… it made him feel uncomfortable. He could be doing something else far more important. He was the Duke of Northam, for God’s sake!
He should be tending to his estate and running his smuggling operation. His man of business had sent Charles Wickley a formal agreement over the partnership in Cadieux’s, and he should be thinking of that too, and how he could make the most of what promised to be an unexpected windfall.
Were his days as a risk-taker over? No, he didn’t think so. He would always be that man, but it was time to restrain those selfish, more precarious impulses and lookto a steadier future.
Eventually, he fell into a restless slumber, but the next morning he woke bleary-eyed and morose. Not his usual cheerful and charming self. At breakfast, his sisters eyed him with dismay, and Annette asked him if he was quite well.
“We can’t all be little rays of sunshine,” he said, which made her laugh. It was nice to be on good terms again with Annette. Apart from his sisters and his mother—and they were family—Ivo did not have many close female friends, and he had missed their conversations. For a time, Olivia had seemed like a friend, more than a friend, and their moments together were some of his most memorable. But he was determined to shut that door.
“I’m glad you are coming on the excursion today,” Lexy said. “Mama is resting, but the viscountess will be braving the outdoors with us.”
Annette blanched. “She still hasn’t accepted we are not destined to marry,” she said, dropping her voice. “She thinks that at some point, we will realize we are meant to be.”
Ivo was aware that Viscountess Monteith was notoriously critical, her standards impossibly high, especially when it came to her daughter. Last night, he had told himself he would make some excuse and leave this morning, but could he really leave his friend when she needed him most?
“I will divert her attention,” he said bravely, and received beaming smiles from the three women.
“Good morning.”
Charles Wickley had arrived, looking as ifhissleep last night had been fresh and worry-free. Seeing himnow reminded Ivo that last night during their dance, Olivia had been concerned about her sister falling under Charles’s spell.
Ivo could well understand that concern. Charles would not be the only gentleman to indulge in a fondness for the ladies, but if he was Ivo’s half brother, then he may well have inherited their father’s nasty habit of seducing every female who crossed his path. It didn’t take much imagination for Ivo to see what would happen if Charles broke Justina’s heart. Or worse, ruined her reputation. More turmoil for the Ashtons. But Ivo wasn’t only thinking of Olivia’s feelings; it would be awkward for him too. Charles was his associate in the smuggling venture, and soon to be his partner in a gambling club. It made sense for Ivo to warn him off before things became more complicated.
Ivo was deep in his thoughts, and it took a moment for him to realize that there was a heated discussion going on about where they should go for their excursion today. The weather promised to be good, and there were a number of beauty spots in the vicinity. The choice was between the coast, where the beaches were attractive contenders, or inland, where just beyond the borders of the Grantham estate was a well-known lookout, with stunning views over the surrounding area.
By the time Ivo rose from the table, the lookout appeared to have won. As he passed behind Charles, who was tucking into a hearty breakfast, he bent and spoke in a low voice. “Come and find me when you’re done. We need to speak.”
He didn’t give the man a chance to reply but went on his way. He would change into his riding outfit, wander down to the stables, and wait for the others.
