Page 37 of Her Alien Delegate
I could tell by the way she said it, that there was more to it, and based on what Bode said about necia warriors, a mating seed was a bond you couldn't take back.
"And that's a bad thing?" I tried to be understanding. I couldn't tell which part was bothering her at first. Was it because she didn't want him to be her mate, or was it because he didn't ask her first? Or both? I gave her a gentle smile and sat beside her on the bed.
"No... yes. I mean, no. It is what I want, and that's what scares the fuck out of me. Literally, I stopped us, mid-fuck." She groaned with frustration at herself. I nodded as she continued, "What if this is just some pheromone-induced hysteria? What if humans weren't meant to mate with aliens? I mean, other than to have a bit of fun... What if our bodies can't handle a half-lethal-weapon of a hybrid baby warrior to term? We can hardly carry our own regular human babies!"
My eyes watered, but I didn't want to assume anything. I kept my breathing measured, so I didn't start imagining a little warrior human running around with red hair that would run into my arms with a giggle. I nearly choked right there. I could see it so clearly.
Then I heard his voice in my mind, "Everything."
I snapped out of it when Violet bounced off of the bed on her way to pacing the room in a panic. "I don't know! Yes." She grabbed at her hair and shook her head. "No." Groaning, she corrected herself, "Maybe?"
I patted the bed for her to return to my side for her to confess her darkest feelings of betrayal from the past, and I had to ask, "Did he force you?"
"No, he wanted me to choose him. He's nothing like my ex."
Tears flowed between us as I held her.
"Shhh," I comforted. "Sometimes things happen for a reason. You came with me when you didn't have to. When I needed you." And I was here for her when she needed me, I thought while I pet her hair and pulled it back from falling in front of her face.
"I've been a horrible friend," she sniffled with a hiccup. "I wasn't helping you. I was heat seeking an alien cock to fuck. He was cute, and I wanted him."
"You'd have come even without a sexy alien cock luring you in," I assured her with a smile.
"I'm not so sure."
"I am," I said with pep, forcing myself not to think about why Violet was feeling this way at all. It was my fault. I thought what she needed from me was my ears, but maybe I should have been more open with her about my own past. She was vulnerable with me, and I had yet to give her the same from myself.
Violet was willing to kick anyone's alien balls for looking at me sideways, regardless of if she would fuck them afterwards.
"You're the kind of person who sticks up for people, even if it means getting stabbed in the hand." I sighed, rubbing my face. "You took an epul thorn for me, you defended me, you told me your secrets, and I've told you nothing about myself. I'm so sorry," I said with a sob. "This is all my fault."
Folding over into my hands to cover my shame, I couldn't stop the tears as my shoulders shook from disappointment in myself.
Violet wrapped me up into her arms and patted my shoulder awkwardly with her hand. "I'm a fucking intimidating person. I didn't really give you the space to open up with all my own shit going on."
I sighed. "I guess we're both to blame." But I didn't think she had anything to be blamed for. I still felt incredibly responsible.
"Woah," she balked and pulled back, holding both my shoulders to make me look at her. "I wouldn't go that far. I'm pretty fucking awesome. Haven't you heard about that one time I got stabbed protecting a girl?"
A laugh escaped as I hiccupped from sobbing at the same time. "I think I heard something about that," I joked back.
"When you're ready, you can tell me more about what's been bothering you. Maybe when we're settled on Necias Prime?"
I took a deep breath. I could do this. Just say it. This whole ordeal was more than just a botched mate match with Trillume...
"It was never only about adventure," I started simple. I wasn't ready to talk about everything yet, but I'd start here. "I was going to age out of my housing."
"Oh shit," she said before clamping her hands over her mouth to let me keep talking.
"I found out that most of the contracts were mating contracts for a fertility research facility on Trillume. Every contract has a termination clause that acts as a failsafe for humans to breed with different species. It's why so many contracted exchanges never return to Earth. I've triggered my termination clause," I hesitated here but pushed on when she leaned in, biting her lip to stop herself from saying anything just yet, "Once the termination clause is active, any alien has a right to claim the contract for themselves, with none of the safety checks intended to protect our rights. All it takes is claiming they've bonded with me and I'd be forced to be their pet regardless of whether I want to mate with them or not."
"Wait," she tried to wrap her head around this, "Are you saying your contract with the necia isn't the original agreement? Fuck, no wonder you were terrified." She ran her hands through her red hair with worry. "You agreed to this?" Her eyes pleaded with me to say that I was okay with being here with her. She was so committed to staying with the necia now, that it would break her if I said no.
"Yes," I lied. "This is why I didn't say anything before," I watched as she stressed out about whether her choice to be with Roe-el was real or fake. Was she being manipulated, or was she in love? Those were things I couldn't answer for her. "I've always wanted a family," I tried to change the subject a bit, "My mom barely survived giving birth to me. It's true humans have a tough time with conception, even with other humans."
"Evie..." she said my name with pity. She already understood where this conversation was headed.
"Aliens don't offer the medical advances to humans without them joining the exchange. I'm okay with my family being half alien, as long as I can have one."
