Page 58 of Push My Buttons
I pull back just enough to sign,"Amazing. Complete."
The truth of the words strikes me as soon as I form them. Complete. That's exactly how I feel, nestled between these two men who know all of me—every secret, every persona, every fear—and want me anyway.
"Good," Theo says, propping himself up on one elbow to look at me properly. "Because we meant what we said last night. We're not going anywhere."
"And we're going to figure out who's behind this," Jace adds, his voice taking on that determined edge I recognize from our gaming sessions. "Starting today."
The reminder of the danger still lurking outside our bubble of warmth sends a chill through me. But it's different now. The fear doesn't consume me the way it did before. Now, it's tempered by something stronger—the certainty that I'm no longer facing it alone.
I sit up, gathering the sheet around me, and sign,"Where do we start?"
Jace and Theo exchange a look, something passing between them that I can't quite read. Then Jace nods, as if coming to a decision.
Jace clears his throat, his expression shifting to something more tentative. "Before we dive into investigation mode, I wanted to ask you something." His fingers tap lightly against his thigh in that familiar rhythm I've noticed before. "Have you ever spoken to anyone professional about what happened? A therapist, I mean."
The question catches me off guard. I hesitate, my hands hovering in midair.
"I know it might seem unrelated to finding your stalker," he continues carefully, "but trauma like what you experienced... it affects everything. How we process danger, how we respond to threats. This person is playing on your already established trauma and fears."
Theo watches me closely, unusually quiet, giving Jace space to continue.
"I have someone I see," he says carefully. "Dr. Levine. She's... she understands trauma. And she's excellent with non-verbal communication."
I tilt my head, studying him. There's something vulnerable in the way he offers this information, something personal.
"She helps me navigate the world when it gets too loud, too overwhelming," he continues, his eyes meeting mine with quiet intensity. I tilt my head, curious about what he means, but hedoesn't elaborate. "She might be able to help you too. With the memories, with processing everything."
"If you wanted to try," he adds quickly, "I'd go with you. Every session. Wait outside, or come in if you wanted support. Whatever you needed."
The offer touches something deep inside me—this careful consideration, this gentle suggestion without pressure. I sign slowly,"I saw someone briefly after the hospital. They wanted me to talk about what happened."
"But you couldn't remember," Theo fills in, understanding.
I nod."Felt pointless. Just made me feel more broken."
"Dr. Levine doesn't push," Jace says. "She creates space for healing to happen at your pace." He pauses. "Even if your voice never comes back, working through the trauma might help with the panic attacks, the hypervigilance."
I consider his words, the sincerity behind them. It's been so long since I've let myself hope for any kind of healing.
"I'll think about it,"I sign, and I mean it.
"That's all we're asking," Theo says, squeezing my hand.
The sincerity in his voice makes my throat tighten with emotion. I look from him to Theo, overwhelmed by their unwavering support.
"Thank you,"I sign, the simple gesture feeling wholly inadequate for the depth of my gratitude.
"In the meantime," Theo says, sitting up fully now, "you shouldn't stay here. Hotels have too many strangers, too many potential security gaps."
"You could stay with one of us," Jace suggests, his tone carefully neutral. "My place has a good security system, and I work from home most days."
"Mine has a doorman," Theo adds. "And I'm only two blocks from the office, the cafe is only around the corner."
I shake my head, though the offer is tempting."That wouldn't be fair to either of you,"I sign."This is still new, whatever this is between us. I don't want to impose or force choices."
They exchange another look, that silent communication I'm beginning to recognize.
"What about your apartment?" Jace asks finally. "Would you feel safer there if we were with you?"
