Page 37 of Push My Buttons
"Your usual?"I sign, and then demonstrate the sign for his ridiculous mocha concoction.
His eyes light up as he mimics the gesture. "That's my drink? You made a sign for it?"
I nod, fighting a smile. His enthusiasm is infectious, even through my anxiety.
"She makes signs for all the regulars," Maya chimes in. "Yours is basically 'chaos in a cup.'"
Theo laughs, the sound bright and warm. "I'm honored to be chaos incarnate."
I turn to make his drink, but not before catching the look that passes between him and Jace—something complicated I can't quite read. Do they know about each other's gaming personas? Do they realize we're all connected in ways none of us have acknowledged?
As I work, I listen to them exchange what sounds like work-related small talk. Something about a deadline, a marketing report, user engagement metrics. So they do work together. The pieces continue to click into place.
I hand Theo his drink, and he makes a point of signing "thank you" perfectly. His fingers brush mine as he takes the cup,lingering just a moment longer than necessary. The contact feels electric, just like it did with Jace.
They both turn and I watch them go, something warm and unfamiliar blooming in my chest. These men—once just customers and disembodied voices in a headset—are becoming something else. Something more. Something real. And I don’t know if that excites me more—or terrifies me.
The rest of my shift passes in a blur of coffee orders and mechanical movements. My mind keeps circling back to the same questions: Am I making a mistake with this shoot? Should I cancel? Am I betraying my growing feelings for Jace and Theo by doing this shoot with two strangers? Should I tell them now, before things get even more complicated?
But every time I consider backing out, I remember the flowers in my apartment. The pendant with my real name. The message in the game. Someone is already forcing my hand, trying to expose me on their terms. At least this way, I control how and when my worlds collide.
As the afternoon crowd thins, Maya sidles up next to me, her eyes narrowed in assessment.
"Okay, spill,"she signs once there's a lull."You've been weird all day. And don't say you're fine, because I know better."
I sigh, my shoulders sagging."Just nervous about tomorrow,"I sign back.
"The shoot?"she asks, keeping her signs close to her body so customers can't see. She's the only one at Grounded who knows about my other job.
I nod.
"You know you don't have to go through with it,"she signs, her expression softening."If you're having second thoughts, just cancel. I’m sure Lorna would understand."
I consider it for a moment, imagining the relief of simply not showing up. Of letting Vanta disappear, taking one complication out of my already chaotic life.
But then what? The stalker would still be out there. My feelings for Jace and Theo would still exist. The lies would continue to pile up until they inevitably collapsed.
No. I need to see this through. I need to take control of my narrative, even if it means risking everything.
"I'm going to do it,"I sign decisively."I need to."
Maya studies me for a long moment, then nods."Okay. But I'm coming with you. I'll wait outside if you want, but I'm not letting you do this alone."
The offer brings unexpected tears to my eyes. I blink them back and sign,"Thank you. But I'll be okay. Security is tight there."
"Still,"she insists."I'll be on standby at my place. Just in case."
I don't argue further. Having Maya nearby, even if she's not in the studio, feels like a safety net I desperately need right now.
"I’m going to tell them,"I sign, making a final decision,"Jace and Theo. Everything."
Maya's eyes widen."Everything? As in...?"
"That I'm Vanta. That I..."I hesitate, my hands faltering.
"That you like them,"Maya finishes for me, a small smile playing at her lips. Completely ignoring the other elephant in the room.
I nod, heat rising to my cheeks. "Both of them,"I clarify, watching carefully for judgment in her eyes.
