Page 28 of Her Alien Soldier
She took another step back. “I’m not what you’re looking for. I’m a bartender who reads and knits and is perfectly happy with her boring little life on this remote space station.”
“You cannot tell me you didn’t feel it, too, when we were together.”
She lifted her shoulder in another small shrug. Another step away from him. “It was lust. You know you’re a good-looking male. It could happen with anyone who looked the way you do.”
If she thought he’d looked thunderous before, now there were practically storm clouds forming around him. “Is that so?” he said in a low, dangerous voice.
“Definitely.”
“And how often has that happened, since I’ve been gone?”
She sighed, turning away from him. “I’ve been too busy for distractions. Take care, Xarek.” She gave him a small wave over her shoulder, forcing one foot in front of the other until she turned the curve in the corridor. She could feel him watching her the entire way. Everything in her ached to turn back around, to wrap her arms around his waist and tell her she was glad he was safe.
But she knew better. No matter what he said now, the second his people needed him for something, he would go, on leave or not. And she’d be left behind with an even bigger hole in her heart. She’d made a good life for herself, both over the last several years and, even more so, in the past six months, without him.
It was better this way, for both of them. Now, she just had to stay strong enough to remember her resolve when he looked at her with that dark, intense gaze.
Chapter Fourteen
On the next morning’s run around the station, Julia got to hear all about Xarek and the nerve of him returning and who the hell did he even think he was?
“I mean. He never lied about who he was, right? He made it clear how important this mission was,” Julia said, earning a grunt from Maggie. “He was who he was before you met him. I’m guessing there’s a reason you’re attracted to him, beyond just the sexinesss, yes?”
“Yes. There are plenty of reasons. But none of them erase the fact that I also know I’ll never be first in his heart. And maybe I’m selfish. I probably am! But he showed me how easily he can set me aside–”
“When all the pieces finally, finally came together so he could help his people defeat the enemy who’s been hunting them for so long? Who would have come after another world next? You realize you sound like a bit of an ass right now, yes?”
Maggie stopped, and after a few steps, Julia stopped and turned back to her.
“You know I love you, Mags. And I get it. Yes, you should be first in his heart. He handled the way he left badly. Not saying anything to you, not letting you know he had to leave was a dick move, but from what they were saying on the newsfeeds, the quick attack was what made it successful. Still not an excuse for not at least messaging you, I agree. I get it,” she said, holding her hands up in a gesture of calm. ”But I think you can give him a little break here, don’t you? You know I was military most of my life. It’s a complicated life, and I had it easier than any Altarian ever has.”
Maggie didn’t answer. She knew Julia was right, of course. She knew she sounded unreasonable. She also didn’t want her friend to think she was totally unreasonable. “It’s not all him. Neither of us are exactly young, and we both brought baggage to whatever it was we had.” She and Julia started walking through the corridors, Em listening closely as she dumped even more of her nonsense on her patient friend, feeling like an idiot. “When my husband walked away from me, back before I came here… I told myself I’d never put myself through that again. Feeling like an abandoned plaything, just tossed aside like I was nothing.It was the same. Not a word, not a note, just… all his stuff gone, and him with it, like I was absolutely nothing, left behind like the couch he’d always hated. It took me so long to come back from that, to figure out who I was without him. I made a life for myself, came here, and I’m proud of the life I’ve made. I knew Xarek would have to leave. I knew he had important things to do. If he’d at least taken the time to leave a note, to tell me I wasn’t just something he used and tossed away… I could have been okay with that. I would have understood.”
Julia listened, nodding. She wrapped her arm around Maggie, giving her a quick hug, but staying quiet, letting her friend get it all out. “It would have made me feel like I mattered. The way it happened, it was clear he only has space for one thing he cares deeply about. When we were alone together, I felt like it was me. But when he was needed, that was all that mattered.”
Julia nodded again. “I get it. I support you. I’m sorry I said you were acting like an ass.”
Maggie laughed, then hugged her friend. “It’s okay. I know he did what he had to do. But I’m not willing to go through any of that again.”
Julia nodded, then grinned. “Race you to your quarters!” she said, and then she was off, leaving Maggie laughing as she took off after her.
They were neck-and-neck as they came around the curving corridor that led to Maggie’s quarters, and she nearly tripped as she saw Xarek standing at her door, arms crossed, leaning against the wall.
Julia looked at Maggie. Then she looked at Xarek.
“We have plans,” she said to him, then took Maggie’s hand and gently pulled her toward the door.
“And I wouldn’t dream of intruding on them,” he said, giving Julia a small bow of respect. Then he turned to Maggie. “I just wanted to ask if you’d join me for breakfast tomorrow. I saw that they’re serving the pancakes you enjoyed so much and thought perhaps we could catch up.”
“Not a date?” she asked, raising her eyebrow at him.
“Not a date. You’ve made your position clear, and while I do not like it, I respect you and will abide by your wishes. I hope we can perhaps still be friends.”
Maggie exchanged a glance with Julia, who kept an unhelpfully blank expression.
She sighed, then looked back up at Xarek, trying to ignore the way her stomach fluttered at the sight of him, the way her body heated. How even his voice could send a shiver through her.
Spending more time with him would be a terrible idea.
