Page 29 of Her Alien Soldier
So when her mouth opened and, “Breakfast sounds great,” came out, she could have smacked herself. Instead, she opened the door to her quarters and darted inside, Julia right on her heels.
Chapter Fifteen
The next morning, Maggie got ready, irritated with herself for putting any thought at all into what she was wearing or how her hair looked. When she met her other friends for breakfast, it was always a relaxed thing. Comfy clothes, messy hair.
Of course, she didn’t have the memory of sitting on her friends’ laps, or having them behind her, thrusting deeply between her legs, shattering her world.
She shook her head and pulled on a pair of comfortable black leggings and a black v-neck top, tossed her hair up in a messy bun, and took a deep, steadying breath before she made her way to the eatery where they planned to meet.
When she stepped inside the busy establishment, she spotted him immediately, sitting in a corner booth, a cup of what looked like coffee in front of him. He turned in her direction and theireyes met. She took another steadying breath before heading to his table and sitting across from him.
“Hello,” she said, then felt like an idiot for not having something better, or wittier, or more interesting to say.
“Hello, Maggie,” he answered in that deep, warm rumble. “It is good to see you.”
“You as well,” she said, nodding when the server approached and offered her coffee. They made idle chit-chat for a few minutes, then there was the appreciated distraction of their food arriving. They ate in somewhat awkward silence for a few minutes.
“Maggie,” Xarek said, and she looked up to see him watching her. He set his eating utensil down.
“What?”
“You deserved better. I should have spoken to you before I left.”
She took another bite of pancake. “I did, and you should have. Or at least left a message.”
He started to say something, then paused and nodded. “Yes. I should have.”
“I know you were in a hurry and had to leave. It just–”
“I was in a hurry, but that was not why I neglected to say something to you.”
“You didn’t think about me at all. You were focused. I understand. I know how you are.”
“No, Maggie. In this case, you do not.”
She raised her eyebrows and took another bite of pancake, looking at him expectantly.
He blew out a deep breath. “I thought to come to you. To tell you I had to leave immediately, but that I’d be back.”
She set her fork down and crossed her arms, still watching him. “Yeah? So what happened?”
“Two things. First, there was always the chance I would not make it back. It was a dangerous mission and I knew I would be leading it. It felt dishonest to tell you I would be back, when I could guarantee no such thing. But even more,” he pressed on, raising a hand when she opened her mouth to speak. She closed her mouth, then nodded for him to continue.
“Even more,” he went on, “for the first time in my life, something meant as much to me… more, in some ways… than the mission did. I was sure that if I saw you, held you, said goodbye to you… I would not be able to actually do it. My strength and willpower would not be enough against how much I wanted to remain at your side.”
Maggie picked up her fork again, using it to run a piece of pancake through some of the syrup on her plate. “That seems like a really good thing to say if you’re trying to get back on someone’s good side.” She shifted her gaze from her plate, looking up at him to see him watching her intently. He nodded.
“It would be a good thing to say in that case. And I am trying to get back on your good side. But it is also the truth. I have never felt as… weak, as conflicted, as I did on that day.”
“And you aren’t accustomed to feeling weak.”
“Not in a very long time… not in that way. There is the general sense of weakness, of overwhelm wondering how I can help my people. That was something I was accustomed to, at least.”
Maggie nodded, not knowing what to say to that.
“I felt guilty for feeling conflicted. Like a coward for not telling you. Angry that I had to leave you, when all I wanted was to hear your laugh and feel you close to me.”
“I.. look. We had a good time together. I feel like maybe you haven’t had a whole lot of fun because duty required you to focus on that. And I got carried away too. I’m good at keeping people at a distance and I forgot to do that with you. Which was dumb since I knew you’d be leaving,” she finished, setting her fork down again.
