“Did you follow after him?“ Stone asked.
I shook my head. “No, I stayed a little longer.”
The fight had left me feeling ill. Pregnancy didn’t help. I was still in the first trimester, and morning sickness unfortunately wasn’t just reserved for mornings.
I tried to go back to the group, but I felt like I was holding back everything in my stomach. I no longer felt present, could feel myself slowly slipping away. My mind always drifted after our arguments, trying to protect me, to hide the way it made my insides turn.
“What’s wrong?” Calvin had asked.
“I think they made the drink a bit stronger than I realized.” I had tried to force myself to laugh.
Wrapped up in the moment, Calvin barely noticed the way my smile didn’t reach my eyes. He just laughed softly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, hugging me.
“Where’d Jake go?” Calvin had asked, his tone hopeful, not a large fan of my fiancé.
I didn’t want to ruin his night further, and I knew I was no longer in the headspace to be around friends and family. Jake had made sure of it.
“He’s out grabbing the car,” I had said. “Unfortunately, I think he’s going to take me home.”
My brother frowned, but only for a moment, as some of our friends came back carrying more drinks.
“Are you sure? You could stay with us tonight.” He motioned to his fiancée.
“It’s your birthday, Calvin,” I remembered saying. “Enjoy it. I’m gonna go home, get some rest. And now I’ve learned my lesson about trusting this place to make my drinks.”
He smiled and gave me a hug. “Don’t be a stranger,” he said. “Promise me you won’t disappear for months again.”
“I promise,“ I said gently, but I knew it was a lie.
Jake hated my family, hated whenever I wanted to see them. It had taken weeks of begging just to get him to let me come to Calvin‘s birthday.
“I’ll see you soon,” I said, turning to leave the place.
“Where’d you go?” Stone said, calling me a bit out of memory.
“I left,” I said. “Calvin had been worried, but I convinced him Jake was grabbing the car, and I left. I needed space and air, so I decided to head for the beach.”
The waves and salty air always cleared my mind, so I decided to head for my one place of comfort before calling a ride home.
“Did you make it to the beach?”
“No,” I said and swallowed hard.
I knew what was coming next: the pain, the complete darkness.
My breathing picked up, and I placed my hands on the table to steady myself. Everything screamed at me to run in the other direction.
You’re helping the other victims. Do it for them.
I had to remind myself of that over and over, forcing myself to continue.
I felt warmth over one of my hands and realized Stone had reached out to grab it. His touch made me feel a little safer.
I walked out of the bar and stood outside, trying to gain my bearings and figure out which way was the best way to reach the beach. Everything felt a bit hazy, and my mind started to feel cloudy, but I dismissed it as being distracted. The nausea didn’t get any better. I could barely focus long enough to look at my phone and find directions. The music had still been playing in the background, and I remembered taking a small step forward.
“I hadn’t felt well,” I said to Stone. “I remember it being hard to focus, and it taking me a while to even figure out which way to head to the beach.”
“Was it the pregnancy?” he asked.