Page 111 of Aftermath
If I didn’t fight with everything in me, I knew this was it, but it was too late. Already, my body was going limp, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from shutting any longer.
“Rest,” a soft voice said from above me.
It was oddly chilling and calming all at once. I swore, I recognized it from somewhere.
Against my own will, my eyes betrayed me and closed one last time. My hearing went next, and before I knew it, my entire body became dead weight.
Stone had already left, but the killer wasn’t done with me. The FBI arrested the wrong person. I knew in my gut it didn’t end with Ethan. And now, I was paying the price.
27
STONE
I madeit to the small hotel in town where the rest of the team was staying. Grey let me sleep in the spare double bed in his room. They were leaving early in the morning, and it was easier for me to already be there than to try to leave the rental that early. It also gave me more time to say a proper goodbye to Len.
My heart ached at that.
“Are you ready to go back?” Grey asked, looking me over as I piled my stuff in the corner of the room.
“Truthfully?” I asked. “Not entirely.”
“You know it’s breaking every single rule the FBI has by not letting her go?” Grey pointed out.
“I know every rule that exists, and somehow, I can’t bring myself to accept them,” I explained. “No matter how many times I tell myself it’s wrong, I just can’t do it. She’s impossible to let go of.”
Selfish.
I put her directly in harm’s way, all because I couldn’t separate my feelings and what needed to be done. It worked out in the end; Ethan was arrested and would be spending the rest of his life in prison, but there had still been too many close calls.
“Sometimes, not every rule is perfect,” Grey said.
A concept my mind had trouble accepting. There’d always been a solution for every problem I faced.
I snapped my gaze to him. He kept his face even, but there was a glimpse of sympathy in his eyes.
“You’re doing the right thing, going back,” he said.
“What am I even going back to?” I asked. “Will I even have a job when I return?”
“It’s not up to me entirely,” he said. “The director will make the final call, but he will look to my recommendation.”
“What is your recommendation?” I asked.
“You’ve been through a lot,” he started as he stroked the stubble on his face. “I think you need to weigh how important this job is to you. Are you willing to do what’s needed to get back in the field?”
I knew what he meant. My mind needed to be completely focused on my work. There could be no more slip ups with alcohol or drugs, I couldn’t disappear for months when things got hard. I couldn’t let Len become a distraction.
I shook my head, because I didn’t have an answer to his question.
“Think on it,” Grey said. “I don’t need to give my recommendation until we’re back, but I need to be sure you are fully on this team and can follow orders.”
I climbed into the hotel bed, a sinking feeling in my chest growing as I realized this was the first night in a while Len was not beside me.
I prepared myself for the nightmares that would plague me without her presence. Most agents had some sort of trauma, our job always putting us near death.
I only hoped I could contain it enough not to spark more worry.
* * *
