Page 71 of The Lady's Last Mistake
“Thatismy wish, and it should be yours as well.” Cassie jerked back at his harsh rejoinder. “I lost control for just onemoment, and now the only thing in my mind is the memory of what you taste like. Damn it, I can’t look at a glass of whisky without thinking about your tongue.”
The air thickened in her throat. She shouldn’t have doubted her instinct. Hehadbeen affected. Grant turned away and released her from his stare. She took a half breath, but it wasn’t enough. She was still lightheaded.
“You regret the kiss because you…likedit?”
He looked askance at her. The firelight cut through the thin linen weave of his shirt, revealing the silhouette of his chest and stomach. “You thought I didn’t?”
“I didn’t know what to think when you began acting like a stranger.”
“To keep you at arm’s length.” He let out a gruff laugh and gestured to the room. “Apparently, it didn’t work. Cassie, if you’re found here, you won’t be able to cry off. You need to go. Now.”
She knew he was right. But his confession had emboldened her. It had made her certain about what she wanted, especially before this charade of a courtship was over.
“I will,” she said with a shaky breath. “After you make love to me.”
She held still, air trapped in her lungs as delayed comprehension dawned on Grant’s face. His lips parted, and a furious, mystified stare drilled into her, sealing her feet to the carpet. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I do. I’m not a simpleton, Grant. I’m also not a virgin.”
He clenched his jaw and emitted a soft growl, stepping back and to the side as if her comment had been the glance of a fist. “I do not want to think of you with him.”
The strain of jealousy gave her wings, but she pretended otherwise. “My point is, I cannot be ruined twice.”
Grant scrubbed a hand over his chin, then hitched it on his hip. He breathed hard. “Why are you doing this?”
“The other night, the way you kissed me…” She hesitated. But so far, she’d been utterly honest with him. She’d made herself vulnerable. It frightened her as much as it exhilarated her. “It did something to me, in a way nothing else ever has.”
Though he’d turned to granite, his chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “It was just a kiss.”
He was still trying to keep her at arm’s length. She could see through it this time.
“I know you felt it too.” She then reconsidered. “Maybe with all your mistresses, you’ve felt it before, but I haven’t. And I want to.”
He cocked his head. “Allmy mistresses?”
“I hear you have several, not just Miss Devereaux.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes, and what is one more, for just one night?”
Grant shook his head and raked his fingers through his hair as he strode away from her. “Do not push me, Cassie. I might be a gentleman, but I am no saint.” He faced her, looking undone. “Are you trying to drive me mad? Is this revenge for bullying you into a courtship?”
“No!” That hadn’t even gone through her mind. Though perhaps it should have. “I want—” She cut herself off, suddenly unsure. She’d hoped that once in his room, once she’d presented herself, he would accept her without challenge. But challenge was all he’d been doing.
“Tell me,” he said softly, his green eyes now glimmering jet. “Tell me what you want.”
Cassie’s voice shook with nervousness, but she forced out the words. “I want to know what it feels like to be with a man and feel pleasure rather than…indifference.”
Grant’s breathing visibly escalated, his chest swelling with every breath. He bowed his head, but his eyes stayed on her.
“If I take you to my bed, I’ll need to marry you, and that is something I cannot do.”
She twisted her fingers into the sides of her robe as irrational envy spiraled through her stomach. “Because of your late wife.”
“I barely survived,” he whispered. “I refuse to go through something like that again.”
Why hadn’t she seen it before? The anguish from losing his wife had burrowed into him so deeply that it was now a part of him. It had found a home within him, and it had settled with permanency. In that moment, Cassie wished she could magically steal away all his pain. Free him of the burden.
