Page 51 of The Lady's Last Mistake
“I don’t want to talk about Renfry,” she finally said. “He doesn’t matter. He is nothing.”
And that was the truth. He’d injured her, to be sure, but it had been the product of that injury—the child—that had scarred her, not his ill treatment.
“I will never say his name again if that is what you want,” Grant said.
It was perhaps even more generous than the words he’d just used to describe her. She sat up a bit straighter and rested her hands in her lap.
“Philip sent me to Stockholm, to be in the care of friends there. The Olssons. They were kind, and they found a family for the baby. I tried to prepare myself, but when she wasborn…” She shook her head, more tears welling. “I knew I could not keep her, but giving her away, coming home without her… I left a piece of my soul behind.” Her throat closed off again, feeling as though it was being crushed.
Grant reached for her hands, which were twisting the fabric of her gown over her knees. He laid his palm over them, his large hand easily encompassing her own. His skin was coarse and warm, and the touch instantly calmed the tremors shuttling up and down her spine. Cassie looked at him, and to her surprise, his eyes were glistening. They were full of pain and sympathy, and she felt suddenly wretched for not considering that he knew a similar pain.
“When I wrapped my daughter in her burial shroud, I felt a part of me die too,” he said, his voice a rasp. “It’s why I cannot attend births anymore. I’m too afraid.”
He shifted his position on the sofa to face her. “And yet, here you are, helping women going through something you’ve endured. Every time you walk through the doors of Hope House, you face your pain. You’re not weak, Cassie. You are stunning.”
He lifted his hand and with the ridge of his knuckles, brushed her cheek. She turned into the touch unthinkingly, only wanting to feel the comfort of it. Just as she had the evening in his clinic. And like then, the reckless desire for Grant to kiss her erased every other thought in her mind. His lips were so close, the fullness of his lower lip mesmerizing. She couldn’t draw her eyes away from his mouth, or her imagination from how it might feel to kiss his lips. The senseless, imprudent yearning for him to fit them against hers overrode all reason.
But unlike Cassie, it seemed he wasn’t without reason.
Grant dropped his hand from her cheek and launched to his feet, breaking the spell. He cleared his throat roughly and pulled on the points of his waistcoat before fidgeting some more by smoothing the deep green fabric with his palms.
Cassie’s legs quaked as she, too, got to her feet. Her mind reeled and her cheeks flushed. “I should go.”
“Yes, it’s late,” he replied swiftly. Grant stooped to pick up the copy of Debrett’s that he’d tossed onto the floor. “We’ll speak to Hugh tomorrow. He might know something regarding Mr. Youngdale.”
As he led her from the study, back through the surgery and into the corridors toward the kitchen, he stayed a few steps ahead. Telling him the truth had been bewilderingly easy, and his response, even more puzzling. He’d been supportive and kind. And yet, he’d pulled away before he could kiss her.
Gracious, she was such a fool. Why would he wish to kiss her now that she’d admitted to having a child out of wedlock? To being ruined? It was the very reason why she’d never allowed herself to become close to any man. Intimacy would be impossible. Her brother wanted her to marry, but the moment any husband saw her bare stomach, he would know the truth. The baby had left marks on her skin. Unassailable evidence. She would be betrayed on her wedding night, and the man would know himself to be betrayed too. While Grant may have been sympathetic, it had likely altered whatever attraction he might have felt for her. Even if it was a frivolous and fleeting attraction.
They entered the mews lane outback just as Patrick was driving past the entrance to it. He turned and drew up to them. Grant opened the door for her.
“Cassie,” he said as he helped her onto the step. She forced herself to look at him. In the dark, at least he couldn’t see her blushing. “Thank you for trusting me.”
She nodded, but as he shut her into the carriage and told Patrick to carry on, she feared it had changed everything. And she wished she’d kept her damn mouth shut.
Chapter
Fifteen
At just two years old, Miss Catherine Neatham outshone all the finely turned-out ladies inside Hyde Park, firmly placing herself as the center of all envy and attention. She gripped the sides of her father’s face as she rode his shoulders, calling out a giggly “Hello!” to everyone walking by on the Serpentine path. Almost everyone said hello in return before nodding or bowing their heads toward the Viscount and Viscountess Neatham.
“You look deranged, you know,” Grant said as he walked alongside his friend. “Like you’ve allowed Basil to purchase you a chubby little adornment for your hat. Or perhaps for your collar.”
“Basil would never select anything that produces this much spit,” Hugh replied. His valet was notoriously fussy about the viscount’s clothing.
“She’s going to topple off if you don’t hold her legs,” Sir admonished as he strode along Hugh’s other side.
The young man was exceedingly protective of Cat, and Grant presumed it was because he saw her as an additionalbaby sister. He already had three of his own, the young girls all living with their mother in the country, on Hugh’s estate.
“I am holding her ankles,” Hugh replied. “She isn’t toppling anywhere.”
Sir made a doubtful snorting sound.
“Are those the gentlemanly noises they’re teaching you to make at Charterhouse these days?” Hugh asked, smirking over at the young man.
Sir, whose name was in truth Davy Givens, had started working for Hugh as his errand boy of sorts when Hugh had still been with Bow Street. He’d been a scrappy, smelly street urchin back then. Now, at about age fifteen, he was nearly as tall as Hugh, filling out with some muscle, and dressing like any one of the young gentlemen in Town. He attended a boarding school for boys in Surrey but was on a short break for the holidays and had come to London with Hugh, Audrey, and Cat.
Sir had come a long way in just a handful of years, and all because Hugh had taken him in as a ward. However, Grant suspected Sir was much more to Hugh than that. He was like a son, and Sir saw Hugh as a father.
