Page 3 of Blood and Penance
“Yes.”
“And how is your mother?” I ask as I grab my Bible and rosary from the dresser then look back at the woman. She can’t be more than nineteen, maybe twenty.
“She passed away last year.” A mournful grimace blankets her face. “That’s why I’m here. I had to come back to help my grandfather. “
I grasp her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I knew your mother when I was younger. She was a very special person.”
“Thank you, Father.” Tears glisten in her eyes, reflecting the emotional turmoil of losing her mother. “I’ll go so you can meet with Mr. Puglisi.”
She dips her head, then turns on her heels, leaving the room. Taking a deep breath and releasing it, I try to calm my anxiety. “Lord, give me strength to deal with him. I ask in your name. Amen.”
***
“I’m shocked you came,” my father says as he puffs on his cigar and blows billows of white smoke into the air.
I release a deep sigh, gripping my Bible and rosary tighter as I push down the urge to lash out at him because that’s what he wants. He wants me to react, and I refuse to give him any of my energy or the satisfaction of seeing me show him any kind of emotion other than civility. It will only prove to him that the priesthood isn’t my calling.
“It’s her wish that I deliver her last rites. Of course, I came.”
His brows furrow, and I smile on the inside. He’ll have to do more than that to get under my skin. Why wouldn’t I give last rites to my mother? I don’t want to be here, but I need to be here.
My father hasn’t changed since the last time I saw him. He’s still that self-satisfied bastard, his face etched with the same smug lines I don’t want to see on my face two decades from now. While his hair is no longer dark brown like mine, he has a dusting of gray throughout. More lines grace his face, but his tanned skin is still youthful for his sixty-two years.
“You didn’t care about your family before. Why do you care now?”
“Of course I care, but I refuse to be a part of this world. Mother understands. You choose not to.”
He leans back in his chair, narrowing his eyes. “You’re still pissed about that bitch?” He shakes his head. “You were to be the head of the Puglisi family, Gianni. She was holding you back, and you were to marry Arianna.”
I don’t understand why he can’t let it go. I did what he forced me to do. I let her go just like he wanted. I’ve never wanted to be a part of this world, and he knows it. However, I would have endured it all if she was in my life. I was willing to take over, like he wanted. But he didn’t want it that way. So, if I had to give up what made me happy, then he’d never get what he wanted from me. Now he has to live with his decision, just like I have to live with mine.
I’m not taking the bait.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” I ask. “What’s done is done. Anyway, I’m exactly where I need to be. God called me, and I accepted His call.”
Irritation flashes in his eyes. My father isn’t a true believer. Of course, he goes to Mass, and even takes the sacrament, but not once has he stepped foot into the confessional. According to him, there’s nothing he’s done that he needs to confess, and he sure as hell doesn’t need forgiveness.
We have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. And he has fallen way short, whether he admits it to himself. Not that I’m judging.
“How long will you be staying?” he asks, picking up a tumbler of whiskey and swallowing it all in one go.
I rise from my seat with my Bible and rosary in my hand. “Just long enough to do what I came to do, then I’ll be out of your hair. Will you be attending?”
He shakes his head, dropping his gaze. But I saw it. My father loves my mother. They have a strange relationship, but I have never questioned the love they share. I just wish sometimes he had not interfered and let me have love in my life as well.
“Before I go, would you like me to pray with you for peace during this difficult time?”
While I don’t get along with my father and I really don’t like him, I’m still a priest. And whatever God’s children need from me, I’m here to provide. That's a part of my job.
A dark chuckle escapes him, and he glares at me, but he doesn’t say anything.
“The Lord has not forsaken you, Dad. Ask him for peace, and he’ll give it to you.”
“Gianni,” he says in a calm voice. “Get the hell out of my office.”
After a moment of staring at one another I leave his office. No matter how hard it was for me to do, at least I offered him a chance that he never gave me. I gave him a chance to have some peace amid the storm he is experiencing.
Chapter Two
