Page 35 of Saint
Her brows pulled together, confusion covering her face. “Why wouldn’t we be?”
“I need to know that your feelings for me haven’t changed, Oya. I killed him.”
She crawled into my lap, straddling my thighs. I palmed her ass through the fabric of her flowery dress. I looked deep into her eyes, inhaling the scent of her skin.
“I want to know that you can accept me for the person that I am. I’m not the good guy of this story Oya, which I think you know by now. Well, at least I hope you do. I’ve done some terrible things in my life, none of which I regret. This is who I am. A Sinner is what I’ll be until the day I die. Can you handle that?”
For a moment I believed she was going to say no. She was an upstanding individual, the complete opposite to the tattooed biker ex-con but I couldn’t deny the look in her eyes. Even if we hadn’t said it to each other yet, she loved me as much as I loved her. I hadn’t pressured her to say the words and she hadn’t pressured me. It could be we both didn’t want to get hurt, or run the other person away. But there was no doubt what I felt in my heart. This woman was my other half. I loved her.
“I can handle it,” she whispered. “You are who you are Gavin. And I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else.”
My mouth crashed into hers. Our tongues warred. This was one thing I loved about Oya. She was an independent, dominant woman. She’d eventually give me her submission and let me take control, but she didn’t give it readily.
Her hips rocked against my erection as I sucked her plump bottom lip before biting it. She hissed and I licked the sting.I pulled away, gripping her hips as she still rocked against my hardened length.
“You know I love you, right?” I asked.
Her movements still and her eyes widened.
I chuckled and pecked her lips. “You don’t have to say it back. I just needed to tell you. Shit in this life can get hectic. Shit can go down so quick that you’re not prepared and may not have the chance to do things and say things that need to be said. So, I want you to know that I love you, Oya Williams.”
The smile that crossed her face lit my entire world up. Feelings assaulted me that I never believed I would ever feel. I don’t know if I never felt worthy of someone, but I knew I didn’t feel worthy to have someone like her. But I made the vow to myself to make this woman happy until the day I died.
Chapter Sixteen
I stood beside Oya, stoic. No emotions showed on anyone’s faces except our Ma’s. King was here with Alana, and Reaper comforted Ma. Today I was numb. It was the only way I could describe the feeling encompassing me. I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t sad that this day had come. Everyone was born to die. This day was just inevitable.
I can’t say I didn’t love my father because I believe I did. I just didn’t like him. He was a terrible father and an even shittier husband.
When I was younger, I had an unconditional love for him. For both my parents. It didn’t matter what he did, or how he treated me, he was still my Da, and I needed him to be better not only for himself but for us. He just never cared what any of us thought. He never cared to be that better person for us or for himself.
The clouds hung heavy in the skies. I hoped it would rain so it would give us all an excuse to leave. None of us wanted to be here except our Ma. But we all made the decision to show up, so she didn’t have to go through this alone.
I watched as she tossed a red rose on his shiny black casket before they started to lower it into the ground. Thank fucking God it was about over.
When we found out he had lung cancer despite what he had done, I couldn’t say that I was happy. My brothers were happy. They believed Karma was a bitch and he got what he deserved for how he had treated our mother and especially for doing what he had done to me.
I couldn’t agree or disagree with that, but I knew that everything worked out how it should have. Me being there that night my father assaulted someone changed my entire life. Changed the person I was. I couldn’t, in good conscience, say it was all bad. Iwas a business owner and if it hadn’t been for prison, I wouldn’t have that business. And if it weren’t for Forbidden Ink, I’d never met the woman who has stood by my side regardless of all the things that would normally make a woman run.
She accepted me for the man I was. She accepted the Sinner. So, even though my father was a piece of shit, something good had come out of it.
Oya squeezed my hand pulling me from my thoughts. I caught sight of my brother and Alana leaving. I knew he wouldn’t stay here longer than he needed to be here.
We understood each other a little better now since I told him what Da had done. Even though the heavy weight of that secret was finally lifted, where our relationship went from here remained to be seen. I’d like to have one and I believed so did he. All we could do was wait to see where it went.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
Every time I looked at this woman, I was reminded how lucky I was that she was here. She could have told me to go to hell especially after I killed her ex, but she stood beside me. And that was something I was grateful for, and I’d never forget or take it for granted.
I looked at my mother. She was wrapped in Reaper’s arms, tears streaming down her face. I hated to see her so distraught overhim. Regardless of what he put her through she loved him. Had loved him since they were in high school. I felt for her. I could sympathize because my fucking heart would be shattered into a little thousand pieces if I were in her position.
“Let’s go say goodbye to, Ma. Then we’ll head out.”
Oya intertwined our fingers as I led her over to my brother and my Ma. Before her, I would have shied away from holding hands, hugs, or any public displays of affection. However, when I was with her, I needed the constant connection. She indulged me and sometimes initiated the connection before I had the chance.
When we reached my mother, she lifted her head from Reaper’s chest and embraced me.
“I’m glad you came although I would have understood if you didn’t.”
