Page 48 of Reaper
King’s gaze focuses on me, and I lift a brow. “What?”
“Don’t you ever do shit that’ll put this club in danger without going through me first. Blood or not, if shit like this happens again, I’ll have your patch.”
He shoulders me as he leaves the room. I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. I knew eventually my shit would catch up with me, but I never believed it would cost me my patch.
Before I can even make it out of the room, the loud piercing of my cellphone echoes off the concrete walls. I fish it out of mypocket and alarm descends over me when Tongue’s name flashes across the screen. “What’s up?”
Immediately, rushing out of the room, I head to my bike as Tongue informs me about what happened at Embers. I know she doesn’t want her brother to die but I might just have to do it anyway.
Paris
Withinminutesofmeclosing the door to Logan’s room at the clubhouse he rushes in. I’m sure he’s been informed about what happened between me and my brother. Even though would love nothing more to be in his arms, I don’t think even he can help calm the thoughts circling inside my head.
Along with his anger and mine the room is full of tension.
I need to get out of here.
“I can’t stay here.” I pace the room with tears welled in my eyes. “I can’t breathe.”
“You can’t leave,” he says, his voice devoid of any emotion. “It’s not safe.”
A high-pitch, hysterical cackle, like nails on a chalkboard, escapes me as I whirl around to face him. “Nobody wants me here, Logan! You don’t even want me here!”
His hands are on his hips, and his eyes narrow on me. It pisses me off what happened with my brother, but that’s not all that’s bothering me. I want him to admit I’m not just some charity case he likes to fuck like I’ve heard some of his brothers and the girlssay. I want him to admit he wants me to stay here with him, and he won’t discard me once all of this is done.
“What I want doesn’t matter, Paris. What matters is keeping you alive, and that’s all that should matter to you, too.”
“You can’t admit it, can you?” I ask, shaking my head. “You can’t admit that I mean more to you than just some charity case, huh?”
His jaw clenches and he just glares at me. Maybe what I thought was between us had been wishful thinking on my part. Apparently, the woman he fell madly in love with, no one can have a piece of his heart because she has it all even in death. No one can compete with a love like that. And I don’t have the energy to even try.
When he doesn’t say anything, I drop my head, close my eyes, and let out a deep sigh. When I look at him, his face is still devoid of any emotion. In the short time I’ve known him, I’ve learned he’s a master at hiding who he is and what he feels.
“You can’t let her go to make room for me?”
I know whoever this woman is, she’s a sensitive topic and I may be pushing him away by bringing her up, but I wish he just show me some goddamn emotion instead of standing here like a statue, as if my words mean nothing to him. I want him to feel the same agonizing pain that consumes me.
His narrowed eyes bore into me like he wants to hurt me, and now his skin is flushed red. “She’s not up for discussion, Paris. Ever!”
At least something other than indifference. If I can’t invoke this kind of reaction from him just at the mention of my name, maybe he doesn’t want me as much as I thought.
“I know and that’s a problem for me. I want you, Logan, but I know that you can’t let go of your past. I want to be enough for somebody and clearly that’s not you. So, I can’t do whatever this is anymore.”
“I told you from the beginning that I wasn’t your prince charming or your knight in shining armor, Paris.”
I let out a shaky sigh, his words like shards of glass piercing my heart. I don’t know why I thought I had been enough to change him. But it’s clear I’m not.
“You did Logan, and it’s my mistake thinking that this could be more than what it is. Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson.”
The silence hangs heavy between us as vast as a deep canyon that’s preventing us from reaching any middle ground. I’ve been through something traumatic and so has he, but if he can’t leave it in the past, then how can we ever have a future. I’m at least trying, why won’t he? That’s if he wants to have a future with me. We haven’t talked about it at all, but I know there’s something there if he’ll just let go.
“Some of the prospects repaired the damage to my place. If you don’t want to stay here, you’re more than welcome to stay there and I’ll stay here at the clubhouse. I’ll have Tongue stay with you until I get things cleared up with the Bratva.”
“That’s it?”
“What do you want from me, Paris?”
I hate the way he sounds. He has totally dissociated himself from this conversation, and me. Maybe I should too?
