Page 28 of Reaper
“Paris, look at me.”
I don’t. I try to remove myself from his embrace, but he holds on tighter. I sigh. “Logan… I said it’s fine. I get it.”
“Look. At. Me.”
Even though the command goes straight to my core, huffing, I push down the attraction and turn over to face him. He brushes the hair away from my face, then grabs my hand, and places it on his cock. I gasp. I know he’s hard but isn’t every man when they wake up? Or is this all for me?
“This is what you do to me, Paris.” He moves my hand back and forth over his bulge. “I’ve been fucking jacking off to the image of you since the first night you slept in my house.”
“Logan.”
He feels so good in my hands. I want to pull his dick from his shorts. Feel the weight of it in my hands, the softness of it against my skin. I want to see his reaction to the touch of my hands. The sounds he’ll make when he’s inside my mouth.
I want it all.
I couldn’t stand when Nikita touched me, and I hated it even more when he wanted me to touch him or when he forced me to whisper words of love and gratitude, as he invaded my body. Nothing was ever real.
This can be real.
“So don’t ever fucking say I don’t want you.” He’s pissed. I don’t believe that he can ever want me. “I’ve been trying to control myself around you every fucking day. I’m trying to be the good guy. Save you from yourself. Save you from me.”
I squeeze his cock, and a groan slips from between his lips, his eyes fluttering shut. His mouth is so sexy, like sin. I want to lick his lips just to get a small taste.
Leaning closer, the warmth of his skin against mine sends a tremble through my entire body. I run my tongue slowly over his lips. His body tenses, muscles coiling like springs, before slowly loosening.
“I don’t need you to be the good guy, Logan.” My lips brush against his again as I speak. It feels like I’m begging now, but I’m not ashamed. “Not right now. I don’t need you to save me. Not right now. What I do need is for you to make me come. Exchange the terrible memories for some good ones. I don’t feel like I’m disgusting when I’m with you. I feel sexy. I feel normal.”
He opens his eyes and the raw intensity when he looks at me almost causes my heart to stop beating. It’s an intense storm of emotions swirling in the depths of his gaze. It’s like he’s staring into my soul. I hope he can see that not only am I’m ready for this, but I also need this from him.
“You don’t need me so you can feel like you’re all those things because you already are.”
“But I don’t feel that way, Logan. Nikita took all that from me.”
Even though he says the words, I haven’t felt sexy or normal until Logan. That’s why I believe he can help me get rid of the memories of Nikita’s touch. If just for a little while. At least until I have to deal with the consequences of trying to kill him.
He sighs. “If we do this, we start slow, Paris.”
I’m nodding before he can even finish his sentence. I’m so excited. I just want to feel like myself again. Like a woman desired, not a woman forced to experience hell.
“No dick this time.”
And it’s like another gut punch. “I’m clean if that’s what you’re worried about. He made me get tested and I’m on the shot.”
“I’m clean, too. But I’m not worried about that. You need to go into this slowly.”
I groan, and start to protest, but my words are lost when his lips touch mine. I expect something totally different. Logan isn’t a gentle man. I can tell by the way he carries himself. He’s rough, gruff, and the villain of any story. But what he’s giving me is the complete opposite.
I like it. I like it a lot.
When he pulls away, his lust-filled eyes are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. They’ve darkened from their intense, blue and are now as black as night.
“You have to be okay with that or this ends now.”
“Is this for my benefit or yours?”
No matter how much I want to protest there’s no way I’ll let this end. This is my chance to be with a man I actually want. One who desires me and doesn’t want to control me.
“Both.”
