Page 24 of Reaper
Can I be the good guy she needs?
Her citrus and jasmine scent, the way her body feels in my embrace both have me questioning my morality at this moment. Can I be the good guy when all I want to do is spread her open and lick her from the crack of her ass to her luscious cunt?
“Fuck,” I mutter, resuming my walk to her temporary bedroom. “Now you choose this time to give a fuck.”
I don’t do relationships or entanglements with women anymore. Now that I feel something for another woman otherthan the need to fuck them, I can’t have her because of her past. She has to be traumatized by what happened to her. She doesn’t need me chasing after her too.
When I reach her room, and step inside, immediately her scent assaults me. I want so bad to relish it but that’s dangerous territory for me. She’s funny, she’s beautiful, and she’s caring. I can easily get addicted to someone like Paris.
I gently lay her on the bed. However, I can’t leave. My feet are rooted in place as I look at the woman who many think is weak. Even she believes that’s true. I can tell in her mannerisms and some of the things she says. But she has survived Nikita Petrov. Not only did she survive it, she’s also done what nobody has been able to do until now. Get close enough to almost take him out.
According to the word on the street, Nikita’s attack had been so brutal he’s lucky to still be clinging to life. She stabbed him so many times in the stomach, when they found him, he had lost so much blood it took a number of blood transfusions to even keep him alive. More than ten stab wounds. When I heard the damage she caused, pride was all I could feel. I’m proud of her doing what she had to do to get away from him. And he deserves every fucking minute of the pain he’s going through and will go through until he takes his last breath.
With a groan, she turns onto her side, facing me. With her eyes still shut, I know that’s my clue to leave.
A wave of longing washes over me, and I shake my head. I’m at a loss for words. I’m experiencing intense feelings of protectiveness, desire, and control, along with these images of her playing in my head—why is this happening now? She’s no one to me.
I can’t stay here, so I force myself to move.
“Logan.”
I stop in my tracks, my head dropping as I anticipate her next words—words I know I won’t be able to refuse. The familiar tightness forms in my chest whenever she speaks to me. In her voice I hear her desire, and I want her just as much as she wants me. I’ll give her whatever she asks for even if it isn’t in her best interests.
She stares at me when she believes I’m not looking. I don’t know what she’s thinking when she gets lost in her head whenever she looks at my body, but I know it goes beyond desire because she gets this small crease between her eyes like she’s confused.
“Yeah,” I say without turning around.
“Can you stay with me, please?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetheart.”
I push out the words even though it’s hard to form the sentence. I want to stay with her and hold her in my arms. But I know where it will lead. I won’t be able to control myself and we both have been drinking.
“I just want you to hold me until I fall asleep.” She sounds so sad it makes me want to give her all the comfort she needs. “When I shut my eyes, I’m happy because I’m living my life without him anywhere near me. Then it changes.” She releases a deep shuddering breath. “Everything gets dark. Nikita is there but I can’t see him. His voice is taunting me in the darkness. Then out of nowhere he grips my neck and squeezes as his deep laugh echoes inside my head. And nothing I do gets him off of me, then he…”
I face her. A tear traces a glistening path down her cheek.
“He can’t do anything else to harm you, Paris.” I interrupt her, sensing the direction of her nightmare. I don’t need to hear the details, nor does she need to relive that trauma because she does every time she goes to sleep. “I won’t let him get anywhere near you again. I promise.”
She wipes away the tears flowing freely down her face and the heartbreak on it is soul crushing. “You can’t make a promise like that. You and I both know anything can happen. But I know you’ll do everything you can to stop it. But in here,” she taps her temple, “he’ll never be gone even if you can protect me in the physical. In here he will never leave.”
“It’ll get better, Paris. We all have demons we have to fight. Your fight is just starting.”
“And how long have you been fighting your demons, Logan?”
“Longer than I would like to,” I say just settling for half the truth because I’ll be fighting mine until the day I die.
“And has it got better.”
“No, not really.”
“I guess we have that in common.” A deep sigh escapes her lips, heavy with unspoken emotion. “Please, Logan. I don’t want to be alone.”
The terror in her eyes I want to crush because she has nothing to fear anymore except what’s happening in her mind. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere until I know she’s safe.
“Just until you go to sleep.”
She nods, with a small smile on her face, and slides over, giving me room on the side of the bed closest to the door. I pull the covers back, then slide into the bed beside her.
