Page 55 of Reaper
“What’s holding you back?” King asks.
Sighing, I sense neither of them are going to let it go, so I guess I need to start from the beginning so they can understand my thinking.
I lean back in my chair, with my bottle of beer resting between my thighs. “I was in love a few years ago. Her name was Blake.”
“What? Blake? Who the hell is Blake?” King asks.
“She’s the love of my life. Or at least I thought she was until I met Paris. Anyway, she died of ovarian cancer five years ago.”
“That’s before you came back to Oakland?” King asks. “She’s the reason you stayed away so long?”
I nod. “And her death is the only reason I came back. Anyway, I learned one thing while I was with her as she went through her sickness, we have to live life to the fullest because we never know when our life is going to be cut short.”
“Okay, but what does that have to do with you and Paris?” Saint asks.
“This is the time for Paris to live her life. I can’t take that away from her. She deserves to have a new life after everything she’s gone through.”
“So, you let her go?” Saint asks.
“I did. Regardless, if it hurts her or me, she needs this time to be free to do what she wants to do without being restrained by a relationship.”
“Damn, bro,” King says. “That’s definitely not what I was expecting, but I’m proud of you for putting her before yourself. That’s true love.”
That’s true love.
“To true love,” King says, holding up his beer and I raise mine.
“So, tell us about Blake,” Saint says. “She had to be something else to get you to settle down.”
I chuckle. “She was awesome. There will never be another Blake.”
I can’t help but smile at the memories we’ve shared. She was a wonderful woman and even I can admit I’ve been blessed to have had her in my life. But she’s gone now and the best part of mypast. Maybe this is the start of me leaving my past behind and moving into a new future.
Paris
Seattle,Washington
I’ve been in Seattle for three months and I’ve settled into a routine. Every once in a while, I go out for drinks after work with some of my colleagues, but mostly I go to work and come home. I’ve even been asked out on a few dates but have politely declined. I just can’t bring myself to open up my heart to anyone else.
I love Seattle. The food, the people, the atmosphere, and I absolutely love my job. The only thing I miss from my old life in Oakland is him. His laugh, the way he made my body feel when inside of me, and the fire that consumes me with just one look he throws my way. The connection we’ve shared is a once in a lifetime experience. But when my mind strays to him, I try to remember this is my new life and I need to embrace it.
I’ve had very little contact with Logan since moving. Other than a few texts here and there, it’s been basically radio silence. While I know I love him, the fear of telling him how I feel kept me from saying those three little words because while I had been ready to move forward with him, he isn’t. Something holds himback, and if he isn’t ready to let go of it, I refuse to stop my life for him to catch up with me. I believe if things are supposed to happen between us it will when the time is right. And if it doesn’t, I can say he’s the one who gave me back a piece of myself Nikita stole. I’ll always love him for that.
Either way, moving to Seattle and establishing a new life far away from Oakland and the terrible memories of Nikita has been the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Nobody judges me or pities me because no one knows anything I’ve been forced to do.
It’s true freedom.
Work has been very eventful today. I’m tired. I’ve been on my feet most of the day because the owner ofBH Cyber Securitieswill be in the office this week for his yearly walkthrough. Everyone has been running around like a chicken with their heads cut off. I’m definitely looking forward to a night in front of the tv, and the leftovers I ordered last night from what has become my favorite restaurant.
I barely have time to reach for my towel before the jarring ring of my doorbell pierces the air. I groan as I reach for the white fluffy bath robe hanging on the hook on the back of the door.
Except for the occasional neighbor from down the hall dropping off my mail, mistakenly placed in their box, I don’t ever have visitors.
As I hurry from my bedroom, down the long hallway, and into the living area, the doorbell rings again, its insistent chime echoing through the apartment.
“I’m coming!”
My cozy one bedroom, one and a half bath apartment is located in a safe, but not extravagant neighborhood. With the first month’s rent and utilities paid for by BH Cyber Securities, I’ve been able to save up and add some personal touches to the place to make it my own.
