Page 53 of Reaper
How do I say goodbye to another woman I love?
She’s no longer in danger, but I can’t ask her to stop her life just for me. I love her, but I also love her enough to let her go.
I’ve been at the clubhouse while she’s been staying at the condo. It’s been torture knowing she’s leaving, starting a new life without me. So, to make it easier for her and me, I stayed away like she asked. But I can’t just let her go without saying goodbye.
My gaze remains fixated on her luggage, knowing this is the end of whatever we have together. We never put a label on it, but it’s something special. My heart aches, but I know this is what’s best for her despite how much it devastates me to see her leave.
When she comes into the living room, she sees me and stops in her tracks. Even though her eyes are red and puffy from crying, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
More tears stream down her face, as sobs wrack her body. “You came?”
I walk to her, the scent of her perfume filling the air, and pull her into my arms. “Of course, I did. I couldn’t let you leave without seeing you. There are some things we need to get straight.”
“And we couldn’t do that two weeks ago?” she asks, when she steps out of my embrace. “We couldn’t do that before you let me walk out of the clubhouse?”
“I needed to get shit straight with Nikita and Oleg, so you’d be safe before we dealt with my issues.”
“But you see, I don’t think that’s it, Logan. I think you’re using that as an excuse. It’s fine if you don’t want to discuss your past or let it go but I can’t be with someone who can’t open up to me completely.”
“I just got to get my shit together mentally before I can lay it all out for you. So, you’ll understand why I’m the way that I am.”
“I get it, Logan. I’m not the perfect picture of mental health either, but I want to have something with you.”
“I want that too.”
“I’m not sure that you do.” She wraps her arms around her body. “But it doesn’t matter. I’ve got a new job, in a new place. You have your family here. It wouldn’t have worked out, anyway.”
“Maybe,” I mumble. “Well at least you’ve gotten things underway.”
She nods, but I can see the sadness in her eyes despite me trying to change topics to help with both our moods.
“I do. It’s amazing how everything’s worked out the way it has.”
“No matter what you think, I don’t want you to go, Paris, I need to tell you that. But I also know you can’t stay here. I understand that my life is here, and yours is there.”
She’s going to be over eight hundred miles away in Seattle, but at least the Seattle chapter of the Sinners is going to keep an eye on her. King talked to Diablo, the Seattle chapter’s prez, to make sure they keep an eye on her since I can’t. She’ll have the protection of the Sinners no matter how far away she is from me.
“But it doesn’t have to be,” she says. “You could come with me.”
I’d love nothing more than to do that, but she needs to live her life without having someone in her space. Her freedom was taken away for so long. We need to have a long conversation about my issues and hers before we make that type of commitment.
“That’s not possible.” I pull her in my arms, squeezing her tight. “You need to spread your wings and fly sweetheart. And I have some issues I need to work on.”
“What am I going to do without you,” she asks, her words muffled against my chest.
“Live your life, baby.” I rub my hand over her dark, springy coils, breathing in the sweet, lingering scent of her lavender and honey shampoo. “You’re free now. Do whatever your heart desires.”
That’s all I want for her. I want her to be happy even if that happiness comes without me. She deserves nothing but the world.
Before she responds, her phone dings. She steps out of my embrace again and it feels like my world has shattered completely. When she gazes at the text, she sighs. “That’s my rideshare. I didn’t know how I was going to make my flight, so I booked one.”
“You got everything?”
She nods. “I think I do.”
“If anything comes up, go to the Sinners clubhouse, ask for Diablo, and tell him Reaper sent you. Tongue said he programmed the address and number into your phone.”
“Do you think I’ll need it?” she asks with a little fear in her eyes.
