Page 2 of Reaper
I’ve done right by her. I know I have. And if she had to go through it all again, I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing I’ve done to make sure she was happy in the end.
The two men in thick wool coats shoveling dirt onto her casket stop when they see me standing there with one of my hands shoved down the pocket of my blue jeans and the other one holding a bouquet of yellow tulips.
Her favorite.
My leather jacket does little to stave off the freezing icy wind, but I grit my chattering teeth and bear it. She’s cold, so I can suck it up and deal with it.
The cemetery workers must see something on my face because without acknowledging me, they move away and pull out a packof smokes, giving me a wide berth to have some alone time with her.
I take a deep breath and release it, hoping it will stop the never-ending pain I experience daily because she’s not here. But it doesn’t. It’s still there and will be there until the day I die.
Standing in front of her casket makes her death even more real. It makes the pain even worse. The gaping hole in my chest only gets wider, hurts even more, and I’m convinced it will never be filled. I’m doomed to feel like this until I’m no longer breathing.
How do I say goodbye to the only person who understands me? The one person who loves me, unconditionally.
“Even though we talked about this day, I can’t believe it’s here, and you’re gone.” I run my hand through my snow-covered hair in anger and frustration. “Fuck, I can’t believe I have to say goodbye to you like this. There’s so much I should have said to you. There was so much left for us to experience together. It should be me in the fucking ground, not you.”
A shuddering breath moves through me, and I push down a sob. I reluctantly take a step closer to the casket, wishing I could take her place or fucking open it and lay down beside her. Then they can bury us together.
But that’s not how Fate works, right? Only the good die young. Not a bastard like me. Not the person who’s done more harm in this world than he can ever do good.
“How do I live this life if you’re not here to live it with me, baby? You made me a better person, you know? Now what do I do?”
The wind picks up, swirling light snow around like we’re encased in one of those globes you see at Christmas. She loved those damn things. I never understood why, but no matter the season, she always had to grab one if they had them wherever we went.
I take another deep breath, letting the cold air expand my lungs as dread settles in. It’s time for me to go. It’s time to say goodbye.
“I love you, Blake.” I toss one of the yellow tulips on her casket. “I’ll always love you, my soul. I’ll see you in the next life.”
I push away the tears threatening to come. It does no good to cry. It’ll change nothing. She’s still dead. And I’m still living in my own personal hell.
I kneel, then place the rest of the tulips next to the grave. Hopefully, they’ll put them in the proper place once I’m gone. I take one last look at her grave, then turn on my heels, and never look back. She’s gone. There’s nothing left for me here. There’s nothing left for me anywhere.
Reaper
Oakland,California
Six years Later…
The sound of skin pounding skin is always a welcome distraction to the demons always whispering inside my head, but tonight it’s not shutting them the hell up. It’s the anniversary of Blake’s death and this time of year is when they scream the loudest. Pussy doesn’t drown them out, nor fighting. But I’ve found out through the years death will. Watching the light leave someone’s eyes quietens them enough so I can function until I can’t again.
What would be better than someone else’s death?
My own.
But to my dismay, my death hasn’t happened yet. Maybe this will be the day Death walks through the veil to claim my soul. It can’t come soon enough. Six years without her in my life has been six years too long. It sure as hell is reckless what I’m about to do, but that demon inside me likes to take risks. I’m just along for the ride.
The Sinners don’t deal with the Bratva often. We’ve established our respective territories a long time ago and we don’t ally with them. They are our enemies. But they’ve been trying to push the Sinners’ buttons for the past few months. Dealing heroin and doing arms deals inside our territory. It’s more than likely in response to me fighting in their underground matches and butchering every opponent that steps in the ring with me. Nikita Petrov, the heir to the Bratva empire in California, hates to fucking lose at anything, but it’s an extra insult that a Sinner is getting the best of him.
I push limits because I can. I fight the so called best then bring them to their knees. It may come back and bite me in the ass one day, but that’s life. I have a lot of pent up energy to get rid of and haven’t come across anyone who can defeat me. Not yet anyway, and Nikita hates the fact no one can kill Reaper the Sinner. Now he’s trying to get rid of me permanently to save face. He’s put every one of his best men in the ring with me and each one loses. A major blow to the ego of a narcissistic bastard. So, this pussy motherfucker sent his enforcer to kill me. So, I guess I need to send a message to Nikita and the entire Petrov Bratva. I may be a menace in the ring, but I’m not the motherfucker to play with outside of it either.
Each time someone other than my target exits the club’s back entrance, I let out a sigh as they pass me in the alley. I’m hidden in the shadows where no one can see me.
I’ve been waiting for Aleksi Popov to exit the club for over twenty minutes. It smells like trash and piss, and I’m ready to go back to the gym and pound the heavy bag for a few hours. The longer I stand here waiting for this minor inconvenience, the more pissed off I become.
The Russian Dollis one of the Bratva’s main hangouts and I have no doubts the man sent to kill me will be here tonight.
The Petrov’s executioner could be a formidable opponent. His kill count is almost as high as mine. However, lately he’s been slipping. And I’m going to use it to my advantage. His weakness—redheads with big tits who are willing to get on their knees at the drop of a dime. I have the perfect person for the job who will lure him right to me.
