Page 10 of Memento Mori
“I’m about to touch down,” she announced, a hint of sorrow returning to her tone. The situation was painful for both of us. “I will call you once I’m in the air again.”
“Remember, Bella,I love you. No matter what, never forget that. We’ll get through this together.”
“I know. I love you too, Antonio.”
As soon as she hung up, I anxiously ran my fingers through my hair, pulling at the dark strands. “This is fucking ridiculous. I’ve found the woman I want, and I can’t scream it to the world. I’m tired of her having to question my devotion to her.”
I pulled up on my contact list the only other person who knew about our relationship. With everything going on and us having to hide it from everyone, I needed someone to vent to, especially when she questioned whether our relationship would survive the shit my parents were putting me through.
“Hey bro, what’s up? Is everything all right?”
“Are you busy?” I heard the sound of fabric and a woman’s voice on the other end of the line. “Awe man, I’m sorry. We’ll talk later today. I couldn’t sleep and needed to vent. You go back to your company.”
“Tony, she’s not important.” Fuck you Alessandro filtered through the receiver, but my brother didn’t comment on it. “What’s up? I thought you weren’t battling the insomnia anymore?”
“Only when Aaliyah’s in town. She’s been gone for a couple of days, and I’ve gotten maybe a total of four hours of sleep.” I scrubbed my hand down my face, exhaustion setting in. “I’ve got to get Mama and Papa to back off with this marriage shit. Aaliyah’s the woman for me and putting on this fucking show is causing problems. She’s questioning whether I would choose the family or her.”
“And I don’t blame her, Tony,” Alessandro said. “I don’t know why you just won’t tell Papa about her. He’s been there. He’ll understand. And Mama will go along with whatever he says, and if she doesn’t, fuck her.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“It is that easy. You’re a grown ass man. Man the fuck up and say to hell with tradition. It’s not like you need to head the family. If Papa doesn’t accept Aaliyah, which I doubt he would do some shit like that, step down. You’ve got your own business. You’rea wealthy man in your own right. You need nothing from the famiglia.”
“It’s not about the money. Being the head has never been about money for me. This is our family’s legacy. It’s up to me to protect it once Papa steps down. I’m the next capo di tutti capi.” Boss of Bosses.
“Well, it sounds like you’ve made your decision. If being the Boss of Bosses is that important, choose like Papa did and be stuck with a woman you despise.”
“I just want my woman, and our family’s legacy!” I shouted, frustration setting in. “I don’t want to have to choose. I shouldn’t have too!”
“Aaliyah doesn’t deserve to be dragged along if you aren’t committed to her, Tony. She already had to put up with that shit with Marisol even though it wasn’t true. And right now, to me it doesn’t sound like you’re in it with her.”
“That’s not true,” I gritted out. “I am committed to her.”
“You know me, bro. I call it like I see it. And she sure as hell doesn’t deserve to be kept away from the family, like your dirty little secret. She’s too good of a woman to be your fucking mistress.”
“I would never treat her like a mistress!” I shouted, insulted my brother, who knew me better than anyone would say I’d treat the woman I loved with such disrespect, like a side piece. “You knowgood and damn well I wouldn’t do some shit like that to her. She would never be my mistress. I love her!”
“Then fucking act like it! And do right by her!” He sighed. “Look, Tony, don’t lose her because of some bullshit. Trust me, it’s better to have the woman you love in your life than being on the sidelines watching her move on without you.”
“Are we talking about me now, or you?” Silence echoed from the other end. “Little brother, you know you can talk to me. I know something’s up. Does it have anything to do with Laney?”
“We’ll talk about it some other time,” he said, ignoring my question. “Don’t let this shit bite you in the ass and lose the best thing that’s happened to you. Stop entertaining our parents with this arranged marriage bullshit and tell them about the woman you actually want to be with before it’s too late. I’ve got to get back to my company, but I’ll see you in a few hours.”
Before I could reply, he hung up the phone. I tried calling him back, but each call was sent directly to his voicemail. “Shit!”
I tossed the phone on the nightstand after his incoming text came through letting me know he was fine, and he would talk to me once he got back into town. He had been keeping something from me for months, but I’d been so immersed in what was going on in my life I hadn’t noticed my brother was dealing with his own shit.
“I’ll call Chantal, later,” I mumbled to the empty room. “Maybe she knows what’s going on with him.”
The red lights flashed on the alarm. Only an hour had passed since the last time I looked.
“Might as well get some work done if I can’t get any fucking sleep.”
Insomnia had plagued me since I became a “made man.” When I was younger, I accompanied my father to meetings with the other families, clients, and even some executions. Witnessing his power and brutality never negatively affected me. We used the time to prepare me to take his place, also to understand the workings of our international organization. But when I took the Oath of Omerta and rose through the ranks by doing what soldiers do, including taking lives, sleep began to elude me the more power I gained.
The death of some low-level rival affected me in ways I never expected. I hadn’t regretted what I’d done because it had to happen. Nonetheless, I lived with the memory of that man’s death. No others, just his.
The nightmares came first. His eyes begged me to spare his life even in death. Then insomnia. Now, I was no longer plagued by nightmares because I never get enough sleep to dream. I rarely get a couple hours of sleep at a time. That was until Aaliyah started staying over at my place. She provided me with what even sleeping pills couldn’t. Blissful, restful sleep. Somehow, she allowed me to obtain some semblance of peace in an uncertain life.
