Page 1 of New Beginnings
TWO YEARS EARLIER
J.D. Stevens
My bike’s rumble and vibration underneath me usually brought me a soothing sense of peace. Whether I was tired, sad, or even angry, I could look forward to taking a ride on my bike. All my problems drifted away with the wind against my skin.
But not today. No peace would ever be found again. No solace. There was nothing left in this world but emptiness. Emptiness, heartache, and loneliness.
Four days ago, my entire life as I knew it totally changed. Today, everything was different, and my life would never be the same again. I hadn’t prepared for a life without her. Maybe it was naïve of me, but I never thought I would have to. I always assumed I’d be the first to go because of the life I lived.
I was the President of the North Carolina Chapter of Demons United. The largest one percenter motorcycle club on the East Coast. And because of the shit we dealt with, Death alwayslurked around the corner, ready to snatch my soul. I never imagined Death would seek her out instead.
I met Dani a few years ago when Demon, her brother, the founder of Demons United’s Mother Chapter out of Georgia, sought refuge for Dani’s best friend, Kira, who was now Demon’s wife, with my chapter in North Carolina. It was love at first sight. Well, at least it was for me.
We were made for each other and she became my world, my everything. Now it was like all we had been through, all we had shared, was nothing more than a dream. Something I’d made up in my mind that no longer existed.
She was gone, and I couldn’t cope with the reality I wouldn’t see her again. I’d never hear her ridiculous laugh, hold her in my arms again, or tell her how much I loved her.
How do you come to terms that your other half is gone? I guess you don’t. I guess you go through life like I was now. Shell shocked. In disbelief. Fucking angry to my core.
Killing the engine to my custom Harley Davidson, I took in a deep breath and released it, preparing myself for the next steps.
What the hell am I going to do?
It had been the same question I’d been asking myself the moment I got the news Dani and Luca had died.
“You alright?”
Demon’s heavy hand landed on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts.
I looked into the bright blue eyes of my brother-in-law to give him an answer, but the words wouldn’t come. How was it possible to answer that question when I didn’t know the answer to it? How could I answer that simple question when I didn’t know if I would ever be alright?
Physically, I was here. But mentally I had checked out when the doctor walked through the emergency room doors with thatgrim look on his face. That grim look said all that needed to be said.
I shook my head no, instead of giving him the answer he hoped for. I had no words to explain the heartache, the pain, all the fucking rage coursing through my body.
I can’t believe I’m even here. How the fuck did I get here?
“You know, we’re here for you. All you have to do is ask.”
“I need them,” I said without hesitation. “I just need them back, man.”
He tried to be the supportive brother-in-law. But there was nothing anyone could say or do to make this right. To make this unspeakable pain go away. The woman I loved and would love until the Lord sent me to hell was gone. And nobody could tell me the fuck why. Nobody could explain why I’d have to bury my other half, along with my child, who didn’t get the chance to take their first breath.
Demon let out a weary sigh. “I never thought I’d be here either, but I know Dani, man. My sister wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this shit. She’d want you to live your life, take care of Siobhan, and most of all, she’d want you to be happy.”
“I have no life without her,” I said, getting off my bike. “There’s no happiness without her. Why can’t everyone see that without her there’s no me?”
He embraced me tightly, wrapping his arms around me. Not what I expected from him because it was Demon, one of the most ruthless men I’d ever met, but I couldn’t forget he was grieving, too. She was his baby sister and his only sibling. They had one of the closest bonds you could ever have between a brother and a sister. I didn’t know how he was able to deal with this either.
When he pulled away, the grief and anger in his eyes almost took my breath away. In that moment, I knew he understood everything my heart and soul felt. While she was my wife, thevery breath that I breathe, he understood my pain and anger whether he showed it. He loved her as much as I did.
“Let’s go inside.”
Numbly, I entered the funeral home. The somber atmosphere weighed heavily on my shoulders as I prepared to select a casket for my wife and our baby.
GOODBYE
J.D. Stevens
