Page 114 of New Beginnings
“Well, are you going to let me in?”
The emotions overwhelmed me, and tears streamed down my face. He pulled me into his arms, and I could feel the strength of his embrace. “I’m alright, Rebel. I’m here.”
I pushed myself away from him, then punched him in his chest. “You could have called me.” I pulled him inside my apartment, then locked the door. “I was so fucking worried.”
He pulled me back into his arms as we walked to the living room and sat on the couch.
“It’s going to be like that sometimes, sweetheart. I know you were worried about me, and I was worried about you too. It was killing me not being able to come and sit by your bedside.”
“I know.”
“But this is a conversation we need to have right now. And I should have had it before we got in deep. I love you, Rebel.”
“Say it again,” I said, causing him to smile. “I didn’t know if I was ever going to hear you say that again.”
“I love you, Rebel Pierce.” He grabs my hand. “And I want everything with you, but we need to talk about what being in my life means for you.”
“I don’t like the sound of this.”
“You probably don’t because you’re a control freak.”
He chuckled, and I nudged him in the side.
“You are. But seriously, my life in the club is something you’ll never have control over, Rebel. You need to understand that now and it was my fault that I didn’t tell you that sooner. Because I came to you for help, there was certain stuff you could hear and be involved in. It’s not going to be like that Rebel. Ever.”
“I know. That’s the same thing Caesar said, but I just had all these thoughts in my head about you being hurt or dead.”
“I know sweetheart, but you have to understand sometimes I can’t just call you when I’m in the middle of shit. Caesar can’t tell you what’s going on with me whenever you want to know something. That’s just not how shit works in this world. The question is are you going to be able to handle that because if you can’t you need to tell me now.”
“And if I can’t handle it?” I asked interested to hear what he had to say.
I was determined to hold on to him, no matter what. There was shit I had to get used to because he would never be able to tell me everything. I had to extend him my trust even when I didn’t want too. I was nosey as hell, but I would try to keep that under control if it meant keeping him in my life. There were certain aspects of my life I couldn’t share with him either.
“Then this ends today,” he said. “I don’t want it to, but it would have to.”
“I figured that’s what you would say.”
“I love you with all my heart, but I can’t be with you if you can’t accept all of me, Rebel. This is who I am. The club is my family. It’s my life and there are things you’ll never know about.”
“I’ve already accepted that part of your life. I know who you are and what you’re involved in. It’s hard knowing shit is going down and I can’t do anything to protect you.”
“But can you handle that?” he asked. “You need to be honest with yourself because it won’t change. I won’t lie to you, Rebel just so you don’t worry about me. It’s a dangerous life and I doall I can to keep it separate from you, but you know firsthand that’s not always possible. And I do all I can not to die because of it.”
“Can you handle not being able to know everything about my life?” I asked. “I work a lot of cases, some dangerous. Legally, I can’t share things either.”
His brows furrowed, creating a deep crease on his forehead. “It’s not going to be easy not to question you, but I can’t ask that of you, if I can’t do the same.”
“I want you.” I straddled his hips and ran my hands through his hair. It was time to stop talking. “I can handle it.”
“I can handle it too.”
I pressed my body against his arousal, feeling the friction intensify as he tightly gripped my hips. With a teasing touch, I traced the outline of his bottom lip with my tongue before diving into his mouth. As we devoured each other, a contented sigh escaped from my lips. It had been so long since we’d be able to just be together. When our lips met, a whirlwind of emotions stirred in the pit of my stomach. I’d never wanted someone as much as I wanted him.
When he pulled away, a pout formed on my lips. “Are you medically cleared?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern, his brow arched.
“Define medically cleared?” I said, chuckling.
He nipped my bottom lip before licking the sting away, causing me to moan.
