Page 8 of Carnal Desire
“Getting straight to business, I see.”
He sighs and leans back. “I’ve been anxious about asking you this. It’s been on my mind for a few months now. You are one of the few people I trust in this world. So, I’m going to ask you a very serious question. You don’t have to agree to it right now, but I’m throwing it out there.”
“Now you’ve got my attention. What’s up?”
“I’ve been talking to Laila about Club Desire and pushing her limits. She wants to experience voyeurism but not in one of the voyeur rooms at the club. She actually wants someone watching us while we fuck but she wants that person in the room.”
“And you want that person to be me?” I ask blown away at where this conversation is headed and that they would even consider me since I’m the ex of Laila’s sister. It definitely isn’t what I expected from this meeting.
I’ve known Laila for as long as I’ve known her sister, but I’ve never thought of her in a sexual way. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a beautiful woman but I was fucking her sister, so those thoughts never crossed my mind.
“This is going to be a big step for her, and she thinks she’s ready to make it,” he says. “I rather it be someone we both know and trust.”
“And you will be cool with me being in the room while you fuck your wife?”
“Of course.” He shrugs. “We would have to discuss boundaries, but I don’t have a problem with it if it’s what she wants. And like I said, I rather it be someone we both know and trust than some random Dom and sub from the club.”
Before I can ask any more questions my phone buzzes. I pull in from blazer and look at the notification. I smile. “Could you give me a minute, Elijah?”
He nods, and I tap the Carnal Desire app and click on the message fromLost Angel.She’s standing with her back to the mirror, in nothing but the bra and panty set I wanted her to wear today. I can’t stop the smirk from crossing my face. She does have a beautiful body, and the lace underwear highlights it. Next time I want to see her in something colorful like yellow. I bet it would look amazing against her umber skin.
Billionaire Playboy:Good girl. Absolutely beautiful.
I close the app, not waiting for her response and slide my phone back into the inside pocket of my blazer just as the waitress places our food down on the table.
“Would you like anything else?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No, I’m good,” I say.
“Thank you, Emily,” Elijah says.
She smiles then walks away.
I grab the napkin from the table, then place it across my lap weighing whether or not if this is somethingAngelwill want to do. Whatever sexually I do she’s going to have to participate in. That’s a part of our agreement which is best for both of us.
“It’s definitely not what I was expecting today. But you have to know, I have a new submissive and all play I’m involved in, so is she. Also, if she agrees I’m not sure how long it will be until we can do this.”
“But you’re interested?” he asked.
I laughed. “You know how much I love to watch. Never thought it would be you two, but yeah, I’m interested.”
“Let me talk it over with Laila and see what she says. But I don’t see her having an issue once she finds out you have a submissive. If she agrees whenever you guys are ready, let me know.”
Lost Angelhas some things to work through but this opportunity with Elijah and Laila may also help her get one step closer to where she wants to be.
4
Cadence
I release a deep groan as I stand in front of the mirror, staring at myself like I do every night and morning absolutely hating the reflection sadly looking back at me. I used to be very confident in my body and I still am… when I have clothes on. However, when the clothes are off, and the naked truth is in front of me, all that confidence instantly disappears. Since my assault, it’s hard to look at what he left behind.
The long, jagged scars across my stomach, chest, and the one across my neck where Christian cut me, are still visible after all this time and remind me every day of him. The mistake I made. The mistake believing in someone who didn’t give two shits about me. They remind me of the hate I feel for a man I once trusted. I don’t like having this feeling because I know it’s affecting me more than it’s affecting him. But hatred is something I haven’t been able to escape.
I once had a therapist tell me it was time to forgive and forget. It was time to let go of the hate, the fear, and just forgive him for what he did. That forgiving and forgetting everything Christian had done to me was the only way I could truly move on with my life. But that’s hard to do when I’m reminded every day of what he took from me. All I have to do is look in the mirror. I’ll never be able to forgive or forget, but I do want to move past it. Heal from the distress it’s caused, and I think the first step is regaining my faith in a Dom. I know I need that intimate connection with someone to get back to being the person I was before he took it all away.
With the tips of my fingers, I trace the raised skin on my abdomen, then my chest, and finally my neck, wishing they all would just disappear. Vanish into thin air like nothing ever happened. But it’s wishful thinking. I’ve had cosmetic surgery to make them less noticeable, but the surgeon did all he could do because of how much damage had been done.
I spent two weeks in the hospital from the brutal attack. He didn’t hit any vital organs, but the cut to my throat was almost fatal. After my release from the hospital, it took months to physically recover. I had so many stitches I looked like I had been sewn together like a ragdoll.
