Page 12 of Carnal Desire
I have enough nightmares about Christian raping me over and over again while he sliced into my body and licked my blood and his cum from my skin. I don’t know how long the entire incident happened because I was in and out of consciousness, but they do believe it was hours. I don’t need to remember what I went through trying to save my life too.
“Had he collared you?” he asks when I didn’t go any further.
My hands immediately go to my neck where the repressive piece of jewelry I once loved, use to sit.
“Yes,” I say ashamed of my answer dropping my hands.
He shakes his head. “No need to be ashamed, Angel. This is all on him.”
I do know it’s Christain’s fault, but it doesn’t change the truth of the matter. I gave him the opportunity to do what he did by giving into him fully. By accepting him as my Dom and by accepting his collar.
“You do realize he wasn’t a real Dominant, right?” he asks, breaking through my thoughts. “A true Dominant would never hurt their partner and that’s what he was to you, Angel, your partner. Not just your Dom because he claimed you as his.”
“May I get dressed?” I ask.
Even though the only thing I took off was the bra and panties, I was ready to shield as much of my skin as possible and move this conversation away from Christian Baptiste and what he done to me.
I know Christian wasn’t a true Dom and he wouldn’t have hurt me if he truly cared for me. That night I had found out we weren’t even exclusive despite what he made me believe. But knowing the truth doesn’t change what happened. I’m still ruined. I just need to figure out a way to get past it since I can’t change it.
“Where is he now?” he asks, ignoring my question about redressing.
“Prison. But he’s doing everything to have the decision thrown out according to my attorneys because of me being into BDSM. Christian Baptiste has money and connections. It’s terrifying knowing he might get out, but it won’t shock me if they release him.”
He remains quiet for some time, and I begin to squirm under the weight of his stare. It’s been a long time since a man has looked at me like he is. Like he wants to devour every inch of my body.
“Do you even realize how beautiful you are?” he asks. “What’s your name, Angel?”
The change of subject is jarring but welcomed. I don’t like thinking about Christian any more than I have too.
I stare at the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life and although his words should make me feel fucking fantastic that he’d consider me beautiful despite the way I look, they don’t. Because I don’t believe him.
I’ll never be beautiful again.
Before I can respond he leans forward, closer to his laptop. I get a better view of his dark brown eyes that sparkle with anger under the light.
“Let’s get one thing straight before we go forward. I don’t say shit I don’t mean, Angel. That’s one thing you need to learn about me really quickly. So, whatever’s floating around in that pretty head of yours, shut that shit down, now. Do you understand me?”
I sigh. “Yes, Sir.
“Now what’s your name?”
“Cadence.”
“Cadence, scars or not, you are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Hopefully, one day, you’ll believe it. And hopefully, one day, you’ll let me worship that gorgeous body of yours in person.”
My eyes well with tears and I try to stop them from spilling over, but I can’t. I quickly wipe them away.
“Now, my new rule is every night before you go to bed, you are going to video call me and let me see your beautiful body and tell me how stunning you are. Do you understand?”
My eyes widen and fear rockets through me. I don’t know if I can do this every night because it will be humiliating to utter those words to him especially because they are a lie.
5
Brian
I saw the embarrassment, the humiliation all over her face when she removed her clothes. So, I can only imagine the courage it took for her to show me what that bastard had done to her and tell me some of what happened. Now the mortification at me seeing her naked body has shifted to horror at my new rule. While she may think those wounds take away from how gorgeous she is, for me it only adds to her appeal.
She’s a survivor. She’s lived through something so heinous that most people wouldn’t have lived to tell about it. I know what it takes to survive something so painful, so traumatic that any lesser person would have not survived it. This woman came out of it with her life. Now it’s up to me to show her how special she truly is.
