Page 10 of Bound By Sin
My lawyers were still trying to get the story squashed. No amount of money was too much for this story to be killed. If it took me buying the damn place, that was what I wanted them to do. One good thing was that Valentino was in Europe, or at least that was what Brian said when we spoke a few weeks ago. There was no way he’d find out, even if they ran the story; however, that was if he was still in Europe.
As I waited for Bethany to finish her phone call, my mind drifted back to the day I found out I was pregnant with Nia. For weeks, I’d denied it like my denial would change the truth. Valentino had left me pregnant and all alone.
PREGNANT.
I stared in disbelief at the three pregnancy tests lined up on the vanity of my bathroom, two showing two pink lines while the other said “pregnant” in huge capital letters.
FUCK!
I slid down the bathroom wall and planted my butt on the tile floor, the coolness seeping into my bones, denying what I already knew was the truth. I didn’t even need the damn pregnancy tests to confirm it, but Laila had insisted I needed to be sure so I could decide what I wanted to do. No one threw up from the smell of peanut butter or their favorite Italian dish. My breasts had been sore, the cravings were ridiculous, and I was peeing like there was no tomorrow.
I prayed to whoever would listen that I wouldn’t be pregnant. Not that I didn’t want to be a mother, but I wanted my child to have a father who was present and not just a name on a piece of paper. I wanted Valentino to be there for everything. The doctors’ appointments, all our child’s firsts and milestones. Everything a father should be involved in. Now, he wouldn’t be around for any of it.
“I can’t be pregnant,” I mumbled with my head in my hands. “God damn it! How the hell did I let this happen?”
How was I supposed to tell him I was pregnant? I had no fucking clue where the hell he was, and he wasn’t even taking my damn calls, although I hadn’t tried calling him that first couple of weeks after he disappeared. I had gotten the message loud and clear. He didn’t want to talk to me.
How did I even know he wanted to be a father? We never talked about children. He was only supposed to help me navigate this life. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him or become the mother of his child.
“What the hell am I going to do?”
“Tara,” Laila called out through the closed bathroom door. “Are you all right?”
Fuck no, I wasn’t all right. My kid wasn’t going to have a father. I ran my hands through my hair, pulling the strands at the root. What the hell was I going to do?
“Tara.” Laila knocked on the door. “Let me in.”
I sighed, rose to my feet, and opened the door. When I saw my sister’s face, I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, the fear. What the hell kind of mother would I be? How could I take care of a child by myself? Being a single mother had never been part of the plan.
“Everything’s going to be fine, Tara.”
My little sister embraced me, and I held on like she was my lifeline. Like she could change the outcome of my life. There was no way I could have an abortion, but I didn’t think I could go through this alone.
“I’m here, sis. I got you.”
I would never forget that day. It changed everything for me. Valentino wasn’t in my life anymore, but I gained the one person who made my life worth living, even if it meant living without him. While I wasn’t with him, I never regretted what we shared, and I would never regret the child we made.
“Mistress Tara,” Bethany called my name, pulling me from my memories.
I walked to the desk. “Hey, Bethany. How are you tonight?”
Something flittered across her face, but it was gone as quickly as it came. “I’m fine.” She plastered a fake smile on her face, but it wasn’t my place to get in her business. “Are you available for any scenes tonight?”
“Has anyone requested my services?”
“Yes. I’m so glad you came tonight. We’ve had a number of individuals over the past few months ask for you. As a matter of fact, we had a guest use his invitation tonight, and he specifically asked for you. He would like you to meet him on the third floor. He’s in room five if you’re interested.”
Am I interested?
Most of my nights at Club Desire were spent with Malcolm. He was young, in his early twenties, and a masochist like me. I had started helping him navigate his love of pain before Laila and Elijah’s wedding.
Pain for pleasure was something Malcolm had a hard time coming to terms with, much like me. Valentino was that person who’d guided me, and no matter how he broke my heart, I was grateful for that guidance. So, I wanted to help anyone who experienced the same trepidation I did in the beginning.
But tonight, I needed something more. Something I knew I couldn’t get from Malcolm because I'd be too focused on him and his needs instead of my own. I needed something different. Someone different.
“I’ll be in room five. If anyone asks, I won’t be available for the rest of the night.”
“Sure thing, Mistress.”
