Page 1 of Bound By Sin
TARA
Los Angeles
I sat at Club Jade’s infamous L-shaped bar, sipping on my second tumbler of scotch, waiting for Valentino. The heady scent of sex, expensive cologne, and perfume swirled in the air, along with the constant thud of sensual music, further heightening my need for him and making me more antsy. I rarely drank alcohol while at the club, but today, dread hung heavy inside me. I hadn’t been able to escape it no matter how hard I tried—like something bad was about to happen, but I didn’t know what or why. The only person who could relieve the uneasiness inside me was him.
And he wasn’t here.
Where the hell is he?
After downing the last of my scotch, I picked up my cell phone for the fourth time since I’d sat down, checked the time and for any missed messages from him again, and placed it back on the bar.
“Nothing.”
I’d been patiently waiting for the man I’d fallen in love with for over an hour atClub Jade. Patiently waiting for the man who made me feel something after years of numbness. We’d had this standing date for more than three years.
He’s never late.
Valentino Cavallaro helped me navigate the BDSM world after I accidentally discovered my love for pain. As my Dom, he showed me how much more pleasurable sex could be. He helped me understand I was a masochist, and my need to submit to the pain I craved didn’t diminish the power I had in sexual relationships.
To say I didn’t love him would be a lie. He’d helped me become the woman I was today. I was surer and more confident in my sexuality because of him. I loved him more than life itself, and he knew it. I believed he loved me too. What I desired, he was the only one who could inflict it. We were made for each other. Bound together by our sin. The sin of pain. Inflicting it and receiving it.
Sometime within the five years of us knowing each other, our relationship shifted into something more. At first, it had been about teaching me to embrace masochism and finding the right partner who wouldn’t abuse my need. Then things changed, and he became my everything. I thought I was his.
Maybe I was wrong? Or was it wrong for me to question him for only being an hour late? But being late was so out of character for Valentino.
“Hello, Tara.”
I glanced into the ice-blue eyes of my longtime friend and owner of Club Jade, Brian Hamm. Once upon a time, I’d thought I would become Mrs. Brian Hamm. I was quite excited about the prospect. Brian was sexy, sweet, and intelligent with his typical California surfer look, masked in a business suit. But there was something missing between us, and the flame I had for him died out long ago.
Before we got together, the LA press called him the “Unattainable Billionaire Bachelor.” Then they couldn’t shut up about how I had captured lover boy’s attention. Now, we sit back and laugh at how ridiculous shit was back then—us dodging the press and paparazzi all the time, evading the million and one questions about marriage and children from people who really didn’t give a fuck about our lives, only what they could use to get visitors for their online articles. We became California’sitcouple, to both our displeasure. We hated being the center of attention. We valued our privacy no matter how much we were pushed into the spotlight. And although it didn’t work out between us, he’d make any woman happy. Any woman other than me. He couldn’t give me the one thing I craved.
“Hey, Brian.”
He kissed me on the cheek, slid onto the barstool beside me, then waved for the bartender. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
I plastered a smile on my face, which I knew didn’t reach my eyes because he frowned.
“What do you mean?” The tremble in my voice caused me to curse myself for not keeping my feelings in check around him. He got really upset whenever I wasn’t happy, and I really didn’t want to talk about anything right now. “Nothing’s wrong. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing fine, and you’re not. So, spill it. Who do I have to fucking kill?” he growled as the bartender sat his drink in front of him.
While most people considered Brian an upstanding businessman, he was much more than that. He had a dark side I’d seen only a handful of times. Much like Valentino, Brian was jealous and very possessive—not the best qualities for a healthy relationship, but also not a deal breaker for me. When Brian loved, he loved hard. When he hated you, it was until the day you died or until the day he killed you. I was grateful to be one of the few people he loved. I never took our friendship for granted or his love.
I took a deep breath and released it. While our intimate relationship lasted more than a year, we split amicably and remained close friends. We both knew we just weren’t right for one another, but even though we weren’t together anymore, we’d do anything for each other.
“I thought he felt more for me, but I guess I was wrong.”
“Valentino?” he questioned with his brow arched.
“Don’t say it.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything, Tara.”
He never questioned the decision I made to try my hand at a real relationship with Valentino, but I wasn’t so sure he agreed either. I knew Brian was in love with me. I loved him with all my heart, too, but I wasn’t in love with him, and he knew it. Either way, he remained supportive of us both, regardless of his personal feelings, whatever they might have been.
“I know it was stupid of me to fall for him.” I sighed. “But I’ve never felt anything like this before. He just understands me. You know?”
“I do know, Tara, and it wasn’t stupid to fall for him. I can see why you did.” He took a deep breath and then released it, anger marring his face. “He didn’t tell you, did he?”
