Page 11 of Nomad
“Do you have everything?” I asked. “We’re going to be there for a while, then we’re going to your father’s grave. After, we’ll meet your Uncle Miles and Sam for dinner at that Japanese restaurant you love so much. We won’t have the chance to come back home until after dinner.”
He rolled his eyes. “Do we have to?” he grumbled as he read the card from William, a smile crossing his face. It was the first genuine smile I’d seen from my twelve-year-old son in a while. “I want to see Uncle Miles, but not Sam. Maybe after we go see Daddy, we can hang out with Uncle Miles at the restaurant? You know, like a family.”
I started dating Samuel Allen on and off a little over a year after William left. He was also my older brother’s best friend. I’d known Sam since elementary school. I’d met him when he and my brother beat up the schoolyard bully for pulling my hair and pushing me down into the dirt when I was in first grade. They’d been in the fourth. We grew up together and had tried our hand at dating after he pursued me relentlessly with my brother’s blessing.
I’d dated a couple of men since Aaron’s death. A lawyer who was an associate of Della’s, and a doctor who I’d met at the gym. Neither panned out after a few dates, but Sam was the closest to an actual relationship, albeit lately, it had been a little rocky.
He was very secretive in certain aspects of his life, which concerned me. He always had an explanation for everything when I didn’t want or need one. I found that a little shady, and it caused me to pull away in every aspect of our relationship, including sex. It had been at least three months, if not more, since we’d been together physically, and I didn’t see that changing soon. Was it possible he was cheating? More than likely, but I didn’t have the proof to confront him. At least, not yet.
Of course, Sam being my brother’s best friend, he’d vented to him. My brother always took his side, believing I was looking for any reason to not move on from Aaron. Which was not true. Nothing was wrong with being cautious, especially when there were serious questions about the person you were with. Despite our issues, Sam was comfortable, making it hard to end things for good, even when something told me I should.
“Well, Sam wants to hang out with you today.”
Junior rolled his eyes again. “No, Ma.” He fiddled with the card. “Sam doesn’t want to hang out with me. He wants to hang out with you. There’s a difference, you know. I’m your kid, so he doesn’t have a choice. We’re a package deal.”
His words shocked me. I’d assumed Junior and Sam got along. Sam was not his father, and I didn’t expect him to be. But when they were together, Junior seemed to have a good time, laughing and playing video games. Sam did everything possible to bond with my son. So, what was I missing?
“We are a package deal.” I grasped Junior’s hand. “Is there something you want to tell me about Sam?”
A child made dating difficult, too. Some men didn’t want a ready-made family, no matter how much they were into me. Samuel wasn’t one of those men. He wanted a relationship with Junior. At least, his actions hadn’t shown anything different.
“No,” Junior responded, but I didn’t like his demeanor.
“Then why say something like that, Junior?”
“No reason.”
His shoulders sagged, and I didn’t believe him. My son always told me everything, whether I wanted to hear it or not. I didn’t want to pressure him, but this was an important conversation we needed to have.
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” I brushed my hand across the top of his dark curly hair. He looked so much like his father. “It won’t upset me, even if it’s about Sam.”
“Can we go already?” he grumbled, ignoring my question. “I’m ready to see all the motorcycles. You think I can ride one?”
“We still got a few minutes before we need to leave.” I pulled a chair out. He griped but sat beside me. “And no, you can’t ride a motorcycle. You’re only twelve. Now, could you please tell me your feelings about Sam? It’s important I know what you think about him, Junior. If he’s going to be around, I need to know if it’s a problem for you.”
His brows rose. “If?”
“Yes, if.” Sam being in our lives wasn’t a guarantee, especially if things between them weren’t good. “You can tell me whatever it is.”
“I don’t like him, and he doesn’t like me.” He fiddled with the birthday card in his hand. “I wish William would come around again. I miss him.”
I grabbed and squeezed his hand. “I miss William too, but he sends you a card for all your birthdays to let you know he’s thinking about you.”
I didn’t miss him changing the subject, but he would need to spill. Miles might know. He was my son’s best friend, and when he couldn’t talk to me about things, he would go to Miles.
“It’s not the same, Ma.” Junior sighed. “We used to do everything together, then he left, like Daddy.”
My heart broke for my son. Every man he considered a father figure was no longer around except for Miles, and with Miles’ hours at the hospital, they didn’t get to spend a lot of time together. I wished I could make things better for him, but I had no way to contact William and didn’t know where to find him. Of course, I’d done the basic internet search, but nothing turned up. He didn’t want to be found.
Junior adored William and loved to hear stories about his father and their time together overseas. I believed that was one reason he missed William so much. He was the one person, other than me, that helped Junior connect with Aaron. Now, he wasn’t here, and a lot of the stories about his father were gone, too.
“Your dad did not leave you, Junior.” I grasped my son’s hand again. “He was killed in action doing what he loved—protecting this country so we and other Americans can have the freedoms that we do. Now, I know if Aaron could be here with you right now, he would be. He loved you beyond measure, Junior. But while he isn’t here physically, he’s always in our hearts. Death can’t change that.”
“I know, but it sucks.”
“It does and I miss him every day, too.” She swallowed the despair in her throat. “As for William, he’ll come around when he’s ready. He needed to start his life outside of us.”
“But he could have made his life here with us. We both love him.”
