Page 19 of Vincenzo's Promise
Confusing emotions.
“Zo, can I ask you a question, and you give me an honest answer?”
Every time she used the nickname she’d given me, I wanted to kiss her plump lips.
“Yes, you can always ask me anything you would like,” I replied. “And I’ll always be honest with you. That’s something you don’t ever have to question.”
She sat for a minute, hopefully letting my words sink in. I hoped she knew they were the truth. I would always be open and honest with her, even if she didn’t like the answer.
“What do you expect from me?”
That was an easy question with an even easier answer. I knew exactly what I expected of her. It wasn’t something difficult or impossible. In my opinion, all my expectations concerning her were simple.
“What any husband would expect from his wife—her loyalty and fidelity. To be my advisor when I need one on certain matters. And I expect you to give me an heir.”
“But do you expect me to ever love you?”
“Love isn’t a part of this arrangement, Bella.” I sighed deeply, not wishing to hurt her in any way, but compelled to tell her exactly where I stood on the subject of love. It had no place in my life, and I didn’t believe it ever would. “I don’t expect anyone to love me. The kind of life I live, it’s hard for love to play any kind of key role in it. I’m not a nice man, and I don’t claim to be. I do what I must do to survive and to get ahead in this world, including this marriage to you. This must be something you always remember about me.”
The glint in her eyes dampened a little, and I hated to see it dim, but I had to be honest with her so she didn’t have expectations I would never fulfill. Love was a tricky emotion for me—one I’d successfully distanced myself from throughout the years.
Did I expect to fall head over heels in love with Isabella?
No. It was hard to love a man like me, and it was even harder for a man like me to give up enough control over my life to love a woman.
Was it impossible?
No, I believed anything was possible, but the prospect of it happening between us was highly improbable. My goal for this marriage had nothing to do with love, only what our union meant for my clan, which was territory and an heir.
“I can happily do all those things, Vincenzo,” she said. “However, you need to understand, I’m not like women you’re used to. I’m not out for money, extravagant gifts, or power. None of those things will make me ignore what’s going on in my life. I love my job. I make my own money and can afford whatever I like, so extravagance isn’t going to make me happy.”
“I can see that about you,” I responded. “Your simple lifestyle was surprising, to say the least, yet refreshing. But if those things don’t make you happy, what would?”
“My hope is that we at least try to make this union real, even if we never love one another.”
“So, what would make this union real for you?”
“I ask that you give me the same respect I give to you,” she said. “Although I wasn’t raised in your lifestyle, I know how the men treat their women.”
“And how is that?”
“Like doormats. You guys want your women seen and not heard. You also want a wife and someone, or multiplesomeones, on the side. That’s not going to work for me, Zo. If you want me to be your wife, I need your loyalty, faithfulness, and when things are difficult for me at home or work, I want you to be the person I come to like a wife would do with her husband. Like I said, money, gifts, and materialistic things will not make me ignore things nor make me happy.”
I nodded, but remained silent.
“I need you to understand I’m giving up a lot to do this, Zo, which I believe you and my father fail to see. I know something happened with my family and this is their way of paying you back. I get it, and I’ve accepted it. Not because I like it, but because I love my family. However, I want you to remember me in all of this. I’m not my father or my brothers. I’ve done nothing to wrong you, or your clan, but I’m the one paying for their mistakes. I’m giving up the chance to find someone who’ll love me with every fiber of their being. Love may not matter to you, but it does matter to me.”
Bella was right. She was giving up a lot to go through with this marriage. Her life would never be normal after our marriage, and she was paying for her family’s mistakes without playing any type of role in the situation. I’d never really looked at it as anything other than a business arrangement between me and her father. But to be with me, she wouldn’t have the love most women craved. I could do this for her, since she was giving up so much.
“I can do that. I know this isn’t what you desire, Bella.” I reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before releasing it. I couldn’t help but to touch her. It was like I was drawn to her like a magnet. “I’m not looking to make life difficult for you even though, right now, it may seem that way. If you place your trust in me, I promise to give you the life you deserve.”
“I don’t expect you to love me, but I do expect you to respect me,” she said. “And I hope you can keep your promise, Zo. I really do, because I’m giving up everything and placing my trust in you to give me what I deserve.”
I didn’t ever see myself loving Bella. Not because she was unlovable, but because I was not capable of loving anyone except myself. In my world, love was a weakness. Loving someone could lead to my deathandtheirs. Yet, I did see us having a fulfilling life together. She was intelligent, beautiful, and accomplished. She was everything a Donna should be. If I didn’t do anything else in life, I was determined to keep my promise to her. She would have a rewarding life with me and much more, even if love wasn’t a part of it.
I kissed her on the cheek. “Whatever you need, Bella.”
Her head dipped, and she touched her cheek where I kissed her with her fingertips.
