Page 26 of Bottoms Up
Until I got to the final bullet point.
That one said the way he’d agree to the contract was by letting me finish the scene we’d started once before. The one where I’d rolled his balls flat to see if recreating the trauma he’d experienced as a child might help him get past it.
But I’d stopped after only a few light passes of the roller, before I’d put much weight behind it, because his tears hadn’t been healthy, they’d been wrong.Hopeless. He’d broken down like an eight-year-old who’s just watched his family brutally slaughtered. Iknowwhat catharsis is, and this had been the opposite. He hadn’t just sobbed, he’d splintered so completely, I worried whatever magic animated him might vanish. I’d stopped the scene and held him, and telepathed Marco to please send someone in to feed him.
I sat back, the weight of the memory pressing into my chest, and considered why Marco might want us to finish the scene.
The room was silent. I wasn’t sure how long I sat like that before I finally said, “Benji advised me, strongly, not to give Julian money. I’m going to follow his advice, at least for now, but will Julian make enough to pay for a therapist? Someone who understands supernaturals? Because Iwon’trepeat that scene unless he has someone trustworthy besides me to talk to —before and after. Someonegood.” And I made a mental note to talk to Kirsten about who she recommended.
Marco sat back in his chair. “Vampires mostly laugh at therapy, but in this case, I believe the man Kirsten sent many of her patients to when she closed her practice can help Julian confront the life his parents sold him into. I’ll tell him my employees get a dozen sessions a year with Dr. Woods, which is true. The vampires rarely take advantage of it, but many in my flock do. I’d suggest making mandatory appointments with Woods a condition of your contract.”
I nodded, and then tackled thewhy, because I needed to understand. “You want there to be a cost for the chance at freedom?”
Marco tilted his head. “A bonus, but my purpose is in making sure Julian steps into his freedom with strength, purpose, and self-confidence. The customary testing process he’ll undergo for the Senatus is designed to give this to him, proving to those being tested as well as those overseeing the process that control is absolute. Julian has been a slave so long, I’m afraid he needs more — a crucible he survives as proof he can do this.”
Something in the way he seemed about to say something and then didn’t, made me say, “There’s more.”
A single lifted brow. “A change in management. I require the procedure and you perform it. Completion denotes the change. A door you and Julian have walked through.” He steepled his hands, considering, and then lowered them. “It will be a trial forbothof you, but also a reminder the two of you are in this together. You are taking on this role because you love him, and you want him to grow into being his own man. You’ll have to be a cruel bitch, the parent figure, and I’m sorry for it, but you’re the only one I trust to do it without breaking him.”
His words hit like a sledgehammer. My turn to sit back in my chair. “I’ll have to take him down to practically nothing to start. Not the same as breaking someone in, but he’ll need to feel what zero permissions looks like, so I can add to them, build them up.”
Marco smiled. “And this is why you’re the perfect person to oversee Julian. You’ll do fine, young Silver.”
I looked the sample contract over again, considering details.
The only item not listed yet was the therapist. Drake Security had sent Micca to Dr. Woods after she was turned into a bear shifter, so he clearly knows about supernaturals. I met Marco’s gaze. “Can you get him in to see Dr. Woods soon, or will it take months to get his first appointment?”
“I can get him in.”
“Okay, then.”
The attorney glanced at the screen. “You’re good with the list?”
“I am.” I met Marco’s gaze again. “As long as therapy is part of it.”
“One final note,” the attorney said. “To a long-lived vampire, nine months is the blink of an eye, the same as a week or two feels to a human. I don’t believe Marco fully grasps what he’s asking of you, and the fact your relationship with Julian may not survive once this term is over and the two of you try to go back to the life you led before. Consider carefully before you fully commit. Legally, there are no issues, which means my part is done.”
Based on what Marco had said, disagreeing would never be an option for me. No way in hell did I want someone else rolling Julian’s balls flat. The whole process was going to be brutal, but at least I’d know what to say to him, how to help him. We’d step into it with therapy beforehand this time, to get him into the proper mindset, and we’d get through it.
I lifted my phone, logged into the link she’d sent me earlier, clicked that the meeting was over, and did the math in my head to make sure the site figured it correctly. Forty minutes was two-thirds of an hour, so the nearly sixty-four-hundred-dollar total seemed about right — a thousand dollars to talk to me on the phone for background and then show up at the meeting, plus eight thousand dollars an hour. I’d entered my credit card information when I’d paid the initial fee, so I only had to accept the total and tell it to pay.
Her phone dinged, and she smiled. “It’s been a pleasure. Your payment includes up to thirty minutes of follow-up questions. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need me again.”
She stood and walked out, and I told Marco, “Anything I need to know that you didn’t want to say around her?”
“I want to give Julian the best chance at succeeding. I believe you want the same, so she wasn’t necessary, and yet, I’m glad Kirsten insisted. Humans shouldn’t walk into official supernatural negotiations without either completely understanding the rules, or without someone on their side who does. Now that you know someone who can look out for your interests, you’ll be more likely to hire her again in the future.”
“At first, I thought I’d want to talk to Julian about this alone, but I’ve changed my mind. I think the two of us should tell him about it together, and then I should leave for at least a few days, maybe longer, so he has time away from me to think it through and decide. Also, I’d like for him to see Dr. Woods during the time I’m away.”
We’d be leaving soon to perform, and I wanted to be certain I told him the correct dates. I thumbed my phone on, opened my calendar, and met his gaze. “We leave for a music festival in five days, and I’ll be gone five days. The odds of getting himan appointment less than ten days out probably aren’t great, though.”
He shrugged. “I have an ongoing relationship with the good doctor, since about a dozen employees see him, as well as a few of the flock. I’ll get him in. Might mean a member of the flock has an emergency that frees up a time slot, but one way or another, Julian will see him at least once, possibly twice, while you’re gone.”
Chapter 9
Julian
I wasn’t expecting Silver to be in Marco’s office when he summoned me, and my stomach somersaulted at the serious look on my Silver’s face — unreadable, closed off. Formal. Like something had already been decided, and I was just here to be told. Not asked.
