Page 69 of Bottoms Up
“But you were perfectly safe on the floor of the casino,” I noted. “It wasn’t like you could fall a hundred feet straight down. Plus, Atlas was with you.”
“Right, but it wasrealmoney I was gambling with. My bank account is lighter. Not a huge deal for me because I have more money than I know what to do with, but for people who are gambling their mortgage? The adrenaline, dopamine, and all the other brain chemicals would be intense.”
“You get that on stage.” Or I had, so I assumed she did as well.
“Yeah. It’s a major rush.”
“Have you heard from Benji? Did he make it to Alaska safely?”
“He did. Thanks for being such a good sport about him spending time with us.”
“It was good for us to be able to spend time together, good I’m important enough in your life to meet your family, and you need to eat.”
“I do, and I’m sorry. I usually try to get that out of the way before you rise.”
“No need to apologize. The buffet across the hall is in the center of the building without windows, so it’s safe for me, or we can order room service, or we can order delivery from anywhere you want.”
She looked around, and I told her, “Atlas is tailing us. Figure out what you want without checking in with him.”
“I usually resent needing security, but he makes it as painless as possible. Asking him what kind of food he’s in the mood for seems a small thing, to thank him for keeping the whole security thing from being this big fucking deal.”
I kissed her forehead. “You and I need to have a conversation about Atlas. I was waiting for Benji to go home, so we could talk at length. It might be best for you to order room service, and then he can get whatever he wants once we’re secure in the underground.”
Her scent told me I’d fucked up, and I quickly added.Nothing is wrong. Atlas is somewhat of a free agent. He works for Gavin but doesn’t belong to him, and there’s a chance he might be interested in working for Marco, so he can continue to be our security.
We can’t steal Gavin’s security. It would be rude.
Agreed, but that might not be the case. Let’s talk about whether taking him home could work for us, and if we think it might, then we’ll talk to Marco and Gavin. If it won’t cause political problems, we can negotiate with Atlas before Marco discusses employment terms.”
We made it out of the casino, and I steered her toward the stairway to our floor. The closest elevator involved sunlight, but the stairs were safe.When Atlas mentioned the possibility to me, I told him we’d likely have a few rooms that, when he steps into them, the relationship changes so he’s our… whatever we decide to call him. Submissive, slave, or something else.
Atlas willneverbe a pet. The first word that comes to mind is victim, but that’s not at all true for him. Torturee? No, that’s just awkward. Oh! Toy. He’ll be our toy. He doesn’t want it to be personal, right? So, impersonal, but still hot.
That could work. But a toy isn’t a pet. Would you still want a pet?
Maybe. The more I think about it, the more I don’t know if I’d be okay with the morality of it. We’d have to find someone without a way to support themselves, who’d basically be selling their willpower for security. I’m wealthy, but other than knowing I’m secure, so I don’t have to wonder where my next meal might come from, I don’t really live like a rich person.
She sighed.Okay, maybe I do, and I’m just so entitled I don’t even see it. The point is, I don’t want to be the kind of person who takes advantage of another person just because I’m rich and they aren’t.
I admit, I was a little disappointed. I’d liked the idea of having someone around we could treat as an animal. No words allowed if they understood English, not even telepathing words to us. And we could do anything we wanted to them. We’d put him in a bejeweled collar, we’d feed him — or her — the best food so long as he behaved, but he’d just be our pet.
But I could also see Silver’s ethical issues with it, and I had to admit she was right — and her hesitation cut deeper than I’d expected. Was this part of what I needed to learn as a free vampire? I’d been a slave to vampires without morals or ethics for centuries. Had I learned bad habits from them?
We were in our room with the door closed by now, so I went back to speaking. “Okay. You’re right, of course. I would ask that if we meet someone you could make a pet without coming up against the whole morality thing, that you bring it up to me, but I can see your point. Thanks for teaching it to me.”
She shook her head. “I’m not your teacher anymore. If you learn from something I say, that’s nice, but you get to decide shit on your own now. Would the morals of it not bother you?”
The words landed like a door closing. Or like someone having to acknowledge the door had already closed.
I wasn’t hers to train anymore. I was mine now.
And I had to decide what kind of man I wanted to be.
I sat and considered how to explain. “I don’t know. When thinking of it as a hypothetical, it didn’t, but now, with your explanation, it does. It’s possible I would’ve felt that way after we found someone and were doing the initial training, but I don’t honestly know. I was a slave to vampires without morals for centuries. It’s good I’ve gained my freedom under these circumstances — with good people to help guide me.”
“Okay. If we find someone whoneedsto be a pet, we’ll talk about it, but we aren’t searching for someone. The flock members we have access to give us people to play with. So what’s on the table now is Atlas, right? Someone we pick as our security person, andbonus, he wants us to hurt him sometimes.”
She was quiet a few minutes, her shields locked down so I couldn’t see her thoughts. Did she mean to do that, or had it become a habit? I wasn’t sure, and didn’t ask.
