Page 48 of Avalanche
“You shouldn’t be pressuring her,” Matty frowns, staring between the pair of them with his brow knotted in concern. He never likes it when they argue, even if I’m convinced by now that’s just how they communicate. That it’s almost affectionate.
Matty turns to me, worry written in those bright blue eyes, his big hand finding my knee beneath the table. “You know you never have to do anything, right?” His cheeks flame bright red, but he powers on. “You don’t owe any of us anything. Ever.”
Something sweet and sharp presses behind my ribs, expanding until I think I might burst. I bite the inside of my cheek, momentarily too overcome with emotion to trust myself to speak.
“I know,” I finally say, my throat tight. “I know.”
I lean forward, pressing my lips to his, breathing him in. He tastes like champagne and love, and for a moment, I think I might melt into his arms completely.
I want him so much. I want all of them.
The suddenness of it hits me so fast, it feels like the room is spinning around me. I pull back, panting against Matty’s lips, staring into his heavy-lidded eyes.
“I won’t leave you out this time, Eddie,” I murmur, never taking my eyes off Matty’s. “Don’t worry.”
Chapter 14
Eddie
It’s happening. It’s happening. Holy shit, it’s finally happening.
I’m practically giddy with excitement after dinner, high on champagne and second-hand emotion and the heady anticipation of what awaits me in Lily’s bedroom. I hum as I do the dishes with Seth, and I’m sure my smile must be a permanent fixture on my face now.
I mean, it’s not like I’ve never had sex with Lily. I have. We’ve fooled around lots.
Well, maybe not lots. But we’ve had sex.
We just haven’t done group stuff since that one time. When Matty lost his virginity and I got her off.
My heart races with the memory of it, an almost uncomfortable weight settling at the base of my spine. I shift on my feet, running the last plate under hot water, praying the kitchen bench hides the chub I’m starting to sprout better than my sweat pants will.
I hadn’t been too sure about it at the time. Truthfully, I’d been scared shitless. Overwhelmed by so much nakedness. So many guys. And then Liam and Antoine… I mean, I’m not uncomfortable with the idea of them being together. In theory. In fact, I’m super happy for them. Even happier when they sleep in what used to my and Liam’s room.
Because then I get to sleep with Lily.
I slide the wet dish onto the rack to dry, being careful not to drop it. We’re down to six plates after Matty broke two, and I don’t want to waste my money buying more.
Beside me, Seth shoots me a worried look before picking up the plate to dry it.
“Dibs,” I hear Liam call out from the hallway. “Antoine and I get the shower next.”
I turn in time to see Lily dart down the hall, her hair piled up on her head, her skin pink from the shower. She always likes her showers scaldingly hot. Too hot for me, but I won’t tell her that. I’ll take the heat any day if it means getting naked with her.
“You could join us,” Antoine suggests, his voice laced with seduction. “I’m sure it will fit three.”
That’s what she said, I almost say. But he’s not talking to me. Obviously. He’s talking to Matty, who’s lurking awkwardly in the hallway outside Lily’s door, still wearing that suit.
I scoff silently to myself, imagining the three of them in that tiny shower. Matty’s so big, I bet he can barely turn around in there.
“I’m good.” Matty toes at the carpet, then looks longingly at Lily’s door. “I showered before.”
I frown at that. I didn’t shower before. I guess I should. I stare down at my hands, wrinkled from washing dishes, and my sweatpants, stained from god knows what.
“Still,” Antoine says. “You’re always welcome.”
Matty shakes his head, murmurs something I can’t hear, then gathers up his courage and raps lightly on Lily’s door. She opens it, peeking out at him with a smile before ushering him in and closing it behind her.
I feel suddenly hollow, standing here. Alone.
