Page 78 of The Mountain
“Putain,” Antoine whispers, that foreign word dancing across my lips like a caress. I don’t know what it means, but it sounds beautiful. Like him.
He gives me one long, lingering look, tongue darting out to lick his lips before he’s rolling away from me. Toward Liam. The space between us feels cold. Empty. I don’t dare reach for him.
“Yeah.” Liam wraps one arm around Antoine, pulling him against his chest, pressing a rough kiss to his forehead. “Fuck.” He drags his free hand over his face, then gives me another one of his long, unreadable looks. Only, there’s a gentleness that wasn’t there before.
But maybe that’s just because he’s got his boyfriend in his arms again. I’d probably look that way if I was holding Antoine too—like a man who had discovered some treasure, and didn’t quite believe he got to keep it.
“We should probably get up,” he finally says. “And see what Santa has brought us.” He reaches across to ruffle my hair, shooting me a teasing smile.
My heart skips a beat, breath catching at that simple touch. At the rush of warmth and belonging flooding through my limbs. I find myself smiling back at him, a wide, hopeful smile.
I probably look like an idiot.
“It’s nothing fancy,” I mutter, flushing. “Just some stuff I picked up.”
From the other side of the door, the sounds of Lily, Seth, and Eddie are getting louder, more animated. Excitement flutters through me at the thought of spending Christmas with them. Of sitting under the tree and opening our stockings. Of having breakfast together before work.
I just wish I’d had more time so I could have gotten them presents as well. Real ones, the kind that have to be wrapped and put under the tree, and not just trinkets shoved into stockings.
Next year, I decide, as I roll out of bed.Next year, I’ll make Christmas magical for them.
Chapter 28
Lily
“Merry Christmas, babe.” Tessa’s smile flashes white, her goggles reflecting my own answering smile as she strides across the snow to meet me. “On private lessons again?” Two girls are training behind her, matching looks of hero worship lighting up their faces.
I nod, leaning against the wooden fence beneath thePrivate Lessonssign. Jackie should be here any minute now. “Same student I’ve had all week,” I tell her, and it’s impossible to ignore the curl of pride that rises up when I add: “She’s doing really well.”
The two girls stare between me and Tessa, watching our exchange with avid fascination. It’s hard to tell under all the layers of pink and purple and unicorn print, but I suspect they’re around six or eight. Old enough to be able to carry their boards themselves, but small enough to be struggling.
“That’s great.” Tessa beams, and it sounds like she really means it. She claps one of the girls gently on the top of her helmet-covered head. “We’re going for a hot chocolate break. These girls hit their first blue this morning, so I promised them a treat.”
“Nice,” I say, giving the kids a small smile. “That’s definitely worth a hot chocolate.”
The smallest girl’s cheeks flush pink at the praise, her shoulders straightening beneath her ski coat.
“Yeah. We’re pretty awesome,” the older of the two girls announces boldly, without an ounce of self-doubt in her voice. “Tessa said if we keep it up, we could be pro level when we’re thirteen.”
My chest clenches, and for some reason, my grandpa’s words from earlier echo in my mind.Of course you’ll be brilliant at whatever you put your mind to.Had I believed that once, like this girl clearly does? Had my belief in myself faded alongside my belief in fairies and unicorns and princesses with happily ever afters?
“I bet you will,” I reply, swallowing back the unexpected surge of emotion, grateful for my goggles hiding my eyes. “Especially with Tessa training you. She’s the best.”
The two girls nod solemnly in agreement as Tessa snorts behind them, waving one gloved hand in deflection.
I mean it though. Tessa might not have hit pro level with her riding, but she competed. She’s trained kids who went on to compete professionally. And she’s got a high-enough level certification that she should have been teaching private lessons ages ago. Well before I came along and somehow got the pair of us under Stephanie’s spotlight.
And I’ve ridden with Tessa enough times to know that her skill significantly outstrips my own.
“I’m thinking of going to New Zealand for the off-season,” I announce unceremoniously, a frisson of excitement running through me at the words. It’s the first time I’ve spoken the idea out loud, the first time I’ve dared to. But now, after talking to Grandpa, I know it’s a possibility, and not just some impossible dream. I lift my chin, then add: “I’m going to try for my level one.”
Tessa’s lips part in surprise, then curl into a satisfied smile. “Shit, yeah.” She winces, bringing her glove to her lips as she casts apologetic looks at the two girls. “Sorry. Pretend you didn’t hear that.”
The smaller stifles her giggles between purple mittens, while the older girl looks imperiously up at Tessa. “I’ve heard swear words before. Mom says them all the time and Dad makes her put money in a jar.”
I bite back a smile and can see Tessa doing the same.
“Not Australia, huh?” Tessa teases, giving me a wry grin. “I couldn’t convince you to come enjoy the glory that is the Blue Mountains?”
