Page 61 of The Mountain
“It could have been worse,” Seth offers, but his voice is brittle. Shaky, almost.
I clamp my hand over his own, pressing it against my hip, half to comfort him, and half to remind myself that he’s here, with me.
“Have you heard from your mum?” I hear Liam ask Antoine, presumably to change the subject. None of us want to think about what could have happened. What almost happened. Even if the ghost of it hovers over us like icy mist in the lamplight.
“No.” Antoine gives a resigned sigh. “It’s the middle of the night there still. Or very early morning. I doubt I’ll hear from her until tomorrow morning. On Christmas…”
Christmas.
I swallow back the lump in my throat at the thought of it. Ice crunches beneath my shoes and snow-coated pines shimmer like they’re coated with icing sugar, but it doesn’t feel like Christmas. It just feels like winter.
“Fuck, I hate these steps,” Eddie grumbles, as we finally reach the landing. “Fucking deathtrap.”
“Probably why the rent was so cheap,” Liam quips.
“Cheap?” Eddie fumbles with the key, then turns to glare at Liam over his shoulder as he opens the door. “I don’t know what silver-spoon upbringing you had, but this place sure as shit isn’t cheap, mate. If there weren’t six people living here—holy fucking shit that’s a Christmas tree!”
I practically tumble into the condo after him, Seth at my side, Antoine and Liam at my back. He’s right, thereisa Christmas tree, right in the middle of the living room, its sparkling lights dancing off the wall of beer cans.
“Merry Christmas!” Matty grins, dimples forming and blue eyes bright with excitement at Eddie’s surprise. He spreads his arms wide, nearly knocking the little tree over in the process.
“Matty. Wow.” Seth stops short beside me. “You did this? All by yourself?”
Matty gives a little shrug. “It’s just a tree.”
“And stockings.” Seth points to the row of stockings pinned to the center island, six lumpy bundles of red felt dangling beneath the beer cans. “And decorations.”
Matty ducks his head, his cheeks going as red as the plastic Christmas baubles placed haphazardly on the tree.
My chest constricts almost painfully, the lump in my throat turning to a sharp burn. “Matty.” I kick off my tennis shoes, practically stumbling on the threadbare carpet as I close the distance between us. A surprisedumphwhooshes out of him before he wraps his strong arms around me, pulling me against him, bending to press his face against my neck.
“C’est génial,” I hear Antoine say with a mixture of amusement and warmth. “It’s like one of those American Christmas movies.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Liam snorts.
“What? It is,” Antoine argues. “You know which ones I’m talking about. Where everyone wears horrific Christmas sweaters and gets trapped by a snowstorm in some small town.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve just described the plot of The Shining.”
“Putain,” Antoine laughs. “You’re impossible.”
“And that’s why you love m—” Liam starts, then falls silent.
Eddie clears his throat. Matty releases his hold on me, worrying his lower lip with his teeth as he fixes me with a questioning look. Seth reaches out to tangle his fingers with my own.
Love. That word hangs in the air around us, heavy and unspoken.
I stare back at Matty, my heart thundering wildly in my chest. Do I love them? Is it possible to love five people? To fall in love in less than one season?
I’ve never been afraid to tell people I love them, and maybe I’ve thrown that word around too casually in the past, telling my friendsI love youwith each phone conversation or kiss on the cheek goodbye. I told Steve I loved him, and thought I meant it too, back when I was starstruck and in awe of him.
Now, staring at the five guys who have come to mean the world to me, the word seems different. Heavier. Like an oath that I’m not quite ready to make, but I want to.
“Oh. I got you guys something,” Matty chokes out, throwing Antoine and Liam a panicked look. “Hold on.” He spins, dropping to his knees to rifle around in a paper bag tucked beside the couch, then picks the whole bag up and thrusts it into Liam’s arms.
Liam shoots him a quizzical look, then starts to open the bag. Matty rubs at the back of his neck and stares at the Christmas tree, at the wall of beer cans, at the dirty dishes lining the kitchen counter—at anywhere but Liam.
A surprised laugh bursts out of Liam, a hint of color appearing on his cheeks, his eyes tilting at the corners as he looks from the bag to Antoine, then me. “You’re kidding me. Condoms?”He flashes a teasing smile at Matty. “You bought me a bag of condoms? Is this my Christmas present or something?”
