Page 61 of The Season
You’re the sort of person who has a lot of love to give.
Steve’s words from almost two years ago come rushing back, making my stomach churn with a confusing mixture of anger and guilt, hope and self-resentment. At the time, I’d believed him, felt the truth of those words to my core.
Now, I see he only said them for his own selfish aims.
Matty stares at me longingly, and I squeeze my eyes shut. He deserves so much more than that. He deserves someone who can love him and only him. Someone who knows their own feelings. Someone much, much better than me.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” I rasp, pushing away from him, clambering out from under the comfortable weight of his covers. I roll off the mattress in the process, landing with a thud on the threadbare carpet before scrambling to my feet.
The noise has Antoine sitting up, his green eyes bleary with sleep. Seth is staring at me too, but there’s an alertness in his gaze that has me wondering if he’s been awake for a while.
“Sorry,” I say, pressing my hand to my throat. I’m not sure if I’m going to cry, or throw up, or both, but I have to get out of here. “Sorry.”
And then I’m turning, practically tearing open the door to escape, and scrambling down the hallway to the blessedly empty bathroom.
Chapter19
Lily
“So, these are the instructors’ changing rooms…” Tessa waves one manicured hand with a flourish, indicating to the rows and rows of lockers and benches, littered with discarded boots, jackets, and helmets.
Men and women in various stages of undress chat with their neighbors as they pull on thermals, sweaters, and socks, or bend to run new laces through worn snowboard boots. There’s an underlying smell of old socks and sweat mingled with cleaner that has my nose wrinkling.
Tessa’s lips curve into a knowing smile at my expression. “Let me guess. Even more charming than you imagined?”
I choke out a laugh. “Exactly.”
She grins broadly. “Come on. I’ll show you where your locker is.”
I trail after her, keeping my eyes fixed on the back of her head, refusing to let my gaze wander down the rows of lockers.
I know Liam, Eddie, Antoine, and Matty are in here somewhere, getting changed and ready for the day, but I’m hoping to avoid seeing them. It’s surprising how effectively you can avoid seeing the people you live with, if you put in the effort.
After all my efforts the past forty-eight hours, the last thing I need is to see any of them in their underwear.
“Two three five, two three five,” Tessa mutters, glancing at a piece of paper in one hand, then squinting down the third row of lockers. “It must be down here… Yes, that’s it.” She points with triumph at my locker, then slides the latch open without preamble. “You can lock it if you want, some people do, but honestly your gear should be pretty safe in here. I don’t have a lock on mine.”
She pauses, eyeing the heavy sports bag slung across my shoulders with mild curiosity. “You got everything you need? Snowboard gear, I mean?”
I nod, clutching my newly-issued uniform against my chest, my mind instantly going to the goggles I borrowed from Liam almost two weeks ago. “I need to buy new goggles,” I admit. “But Liam gave me a pair to use in the meantime.”
Tessa gives a knowing nod. “I’ll ask around and see if anyone has some extras going.”
“Thanks,” I give her what I hope is a genuine smile, silently hoping she doesn’t find anything for a couple of weeks. Until my first paycheck comes, at least.
The state of my bank account is already looking pretty dire. I’ve got enough money for rent until I get paid—if I don’t eat anything for the next two weeks. Instructors get a free breakfast on the days they work, which consists of bagels, donuts, and granola bars. I’ve pocketed an extra bagel for my lunch, so I know I’ll get at least two meals today, even if they aren’t particularly nutritious. But there’s still dinner, not to mention all the days I don’t work…
“I’ll swing past in ten and walk you to the lineup,” Tessa says brightly, oblivious to my internal financial panic. “And we’ll see what lessons you end up getting today.”
I give her a grateful smile, waiting until she’s disappeared around the corner before setting my new uniform and duffel on the bench. I take a deep, steadying breath, my hands trembling with a mixture of nerves and excitement as I unzip my bag.
This is it. My first lesson. My first students. My first day as an instructor.
I swallow, my mouth feeling dry, then trail my fingertips tentatively over the bronze name badge on my new jacket, staring at the crisp technical fabric, black with red trim, at the mountain’s emblem embossed next to my name.Lily Dean. Lanikai, Hawai’i.
An unexpected surge of pride swells up in my chest at the sight of it.
I did it.
