Page 54 of The Season
She reaches up, tracing one gloved fingertip along the side of my face, her eyes roving over my features, searching. I shiver beneath her touch, at the feel of her breath on my lips, the soft brush of wool on my cold skin. And, because this is Lily, of course my cock takes that moment to wake up, fighting against icy cold air and restrictive denim as it strains toward her.
“I think that’s just a mask you wear,” she murmurs, and I swear I can feel her eyes boring through my skin, into my very soul. “But you let the mask slip when we were skiing the other day. And I liked it.” Her lips curl into a soft smile, and she gives one of those breathy chuckles that has the blood rushing almost painfully to my dick. “A lot.”
“Lily,” I croak in warning, reaching up to grab her wrist.
I mean to pull her hand away from my face, to step back from her. Instead, I find my fingertips linking with her own, pulling her gloved hand against my chest, tucking it into the unzipped portion of my coat. Her eyelids flutter, her gaze dropping to where I’m pulling her hand inside my jacket, to where her fingertips are spreading against my chest.
“I… I want…” Lily’s eyes flick back up to mine, pupils blown, swimming with hazy confusion and want.
I swallow, and wonder if she can feel how wildly my heart is thundering in my chest, if she can feel the heat of my desire burning through my sweater against her fingertips. She leans forward, her lips parted, her eyes full of hopeful questioning, and Iknow. I know what she’s going to do before she does it.
A desperate groan builds in my throat, coming out in a silent huff that has my breath clouding between us. I should stop this. I should stop her. She’s clearly drunk, and this isn’t what she wants. I’m not what she wants. Not really.
I stay still, my feet rooted to the spot, as if the ice beneath me has snaked its way up my legs.
Lily surges forward, the hand tucked beneath my coat spreading over my chest, her other hand reaching up to grip the back of my neck. Her lips are soft, the warmth of them burning in comparison to the icy air around us. She tastes like whiskey and cola, like sugar and fire, and I groan into her mouth as her tongue delves in, tangling with my own, taking what it wants.
And then I get that feeling again. That almost painful need that is more than lust. It grates against my ribs, tightens in my throat, squeezes my lungs.Lily, Lily, Lily, it sings, feeling like anger and joy, like fresh tracks in a perfect powder run.Lily.
She pulls back, panting, her lips swollen and eyes wide with surprise. “I… I’m sorry.” She shakes her head, the movement causing her to stumble, and she grips my shoulder for balance. “I… I don’t know what… I just…”
The heat surging along my spine turns to lead in my stomach at the look of bleary confusion on her face. Guilt and self-hatred quickly take the place of desire.
“Hey. Hey,” I tell her, forcing my kiss-bruised lips into a smile. The night air feels painfully cold against them, the absence of her lips a physical loss. “That’s okay. You’re all good.”
She didn’t mean to kiss me. And I should have known that—didknow it, really. A better man than me would have stopped her before it began.
“You’re just a little drunk, Missy.” I pull her hand from the inside of my jacket, and tuck her back under my arm. “These things happen. No hard feelings, okay.”
If she was another girl, I’d tell her she could kiss me anytime she wanted. That it didn’t have to mean anything. That I’m always up for a drunk hookup. That we could be friends with benefits.
Women have needs just like men and I have absolutely no problem with being the guy that meets them.
The words die in my throat, settling alongside the guilt in the pit of my stomach, tasting like hunger and loss. For some reason, the thought of being a one-night stand for Lily just makes me feel sick.
“Okay,” she says, voice quavering, breathless. “Thanks.”
I pull her closer against me, relishing in the feel of her beside me, in the sweet, heady scent of her. There are only a few more steps until we reach the condo, and then I’ll have to let her go. Probably forever. But until then… until then, I’ll make the most of this moment with her.
I know it’s all I’ll ever have.
Chapter17
Matty
“What do you mean, you accidentally got Lily drunk?” Liam hisses, cornering Eddie in the kitchen before he can unload the bags full of soda bottles on the counter. “You guys were gone for twenty minutes. How do you accidentally get someone drunk on the way to a corner store?”
Eddie scrubs one hand over his face, but doesn’t respond. I can’t help but wonder if he’s drunk too, because I think this is the first time I’ve seen him without some witty retort on the tip of his tongue. Instead, his gaze drifts to the other end of the kitchen, where Lily is currently leaning against the counter, watching as Seth mixes her another drink.
“Hey, mate,” Eddie calls out to Seth, his accent sounding more pronounced than ever. A few heads turn his way, no doubt expecting him to say something amusing, but Seth doesn’t respond.
My body tenses at the sight of so many eyes turned in my direction—even if they’re looking at Eddie and not me. I instinctively press my back against the counter, my eyes darting to the hallway, the door, the windows. I take a deep breath, and remind myself that this is a party, not a war zone, and that I can see all possible entry points in the condo. That I’m safe.
“Seth,” Eddie tries again, louder this time, his voice sending an almost painful jolt down my spine as the voice of my commanding officer echoes in my head.
Seth stops midpour, looking at Eddie with a questioning smile on his face.
“She should be on water for a bit,” Eddie says, and for once, there’s no lilt of humor to his voice. “Don’t let her trick you into making her another drink.”
