Page 34 of The Season
I grin, clapping Antoine on the shoulder as I move past him into the bathroom. “You love it,” I tell him. “You’re just too French to admit it.”
And then I shut the door. And I’m alone again.
I stare at my reflection, frowning at the way my skin looks sallow and tired in the too-bright light. Probably the result of two years of endless winters, interspersed with breaks in Canada’s spring and autumn.
“You’ve got that look that all the girls like.”
Matty’s words come back to me, and I give my reflection a mournful smile. I’m not a bad-looking guy, I guess, even if I don’t have Antoine’s dramatic features or Matty’s body. There’s nothing that exciting about my appearance either though, as far as I can tell. I’ve got sandy hair, brown eyes, and an even smile.
I’ve never had a hard time getting girls’ numbers—or guys, for that matter. But that’s the problem. Because I can’t give them what they want, and they can’t give me what I want.
I sigh, and run my toothbrush under the water.
I let my imagination run away this evening, let myself get caught up in an impossible fantasy and that’s my mistake. It had been so easy to do with Lily. She had looked at me like a friend, without any of that hunger that always puts my teeth on edge. I’d been able to enjoy touching her, being close to her, laughing with her, soaking up that affection that I’m practically starving for—without worrying that she’d want something I could never give her.
Because she’s probably demisexual.
I bend over the cracked sink, taking a moment to splash some icy water on my face after rinsing my mouth, hoping the cold will wash away the heart emojis I can practically feel burning behind my eyelids.
I can’t just go crushing on her because of her sexuality. That isn’t right.
But even as I think it, I know that it’s more than that. Maybe it’s because I’ve just spent the last hour listening to Antoine read about alien soul-bonds, but there’s something about Lily that calls to something in me. Like some part of my soul recognizes her asmine.
It’s probably nothing. Probably just my imagination, and I should accept that I’m going to be alone forever.
Still, I can’t help but hope.
Chapter10
Lily
“You going to be okay to ride this morning?” Matty’s face is the picture of concern as he slides into the passenger side of my beat-up car.
I give him a tight smile, taking care not to reopen the cut on my lip. “Totally,” I lie with as much false cheerfulness as I can muster. “Plus, it’s only a half day today.”
And thank goodness for that. I don’t think I could make it a full day today. Not the way Liam has been pushing us. Not the way every muscle in my body is aching from a week’s worth of training and my crash yesterday.
The doors of my car creak warningly as Liam and Eddie slide into the back seat. Eddie is strangely silent, his face barely visible under the oversized hood of his instructor’s coat.
“You working today?” Matty asks, pivoting in his seat to look behind him. “It’s your first day back, right?”
“Yep.” The word is clipped, followed by a terse nod, but I don’t miss the way Eddie’s hands tighten around his gloves on his lap. Or the worried look Liam is giving him from across the back seat.
“I’ll need to get some new goggles,” I say as I reverse out of the icy parking lot. It’s a pointless observation, but it has the desired effect of taking attention away from Eddie. I get the feeling he wants to be alone with his thoughts right now. “Mine got totally bashed up yesterday. We get a discount at the shop on the mountain, right?”
“Sure, if you call only giving up one limb instead of two a discount,” Liam scoffs. “You’d be better to buy some off one of the other instructors. There are lots of reps, and people are selling used gear and samples all the time.”
“Reps?” I ask, my brow furrowing. The movement has my face throbbing.
“Some of the instructors are reps for different companies, so they get merch at cost.”
“They’re not going to sell to her, though,” Eddie points out. “Not at cost, anyway. They’ll only do that for other instructors.”
“True,” Liam muses.
I bite the inside of my cheek, and fix my eyes on the road. I’m not looking forward to spending a considerable chunk of my savings on expensive goggles, especially when I don’t even have a job yet. When I might not even pass the exam next week.
When I still need to buy groceries.
