Page 4 of The Season
“Nah.” I tilt my head back, and give him the same grin I gave Summer. “But that’s all good. I’m sure something will come up. I’ve got a hotel until then.”
My stomach twists at the thought of the limited funds in my bank account, even as excitement hums like electricity under my skin. I might not have much, but for the first time in my life, I won’t have to answer to anyone.
I stand up, wipe my sweaty palms on my cut-off shorts, and swallow.
“Babe…” Ethan gives me a look that’s full of pity, and fuck if that doesn’t make it all worse.
I don’t deserve his pity. Don’t deserve Henry’s loyalty. Don’t deserve Dylan’s fury on my behalf. Certainly don’t deserve Travis’s blind sweetness.
“It’ll be fine,” I lie.
It has to be fine. Because the truth is, I can’t stay on this island a moment longer. With the parents I can’t please. With all the boys I’ve kissed but can’t love—can’t even feel attracted to. With everything that happened with Steve.
My glance flits to where Steve is wiping blood from his face with a borrowed T-shirt. He gives me a wide-eyed expectant look, his usually brown skin ashen from shock.
A year and a half ago—when I was seventeen—I’d look at him and feel butterflies. My heart used to race when he’d call, when I’d hear the sound of his car rumbling down the long driveway to my house, when I’d see the flash of his smile at a party. He’d been twenty-seven and I’d felt so grown-up hanging out with him.
He’d waited until I was eighteen to kiss me.
Now when I look at him, I just feel sort of seasick. And broken. And really, really stupid.
I think we should be nonmonogamous, he’d said, and it had seemed like such a good idea to my barely eighteen-year-old self. So wise.You’re the sort of person who has a lot of love to give, he’d said, and I’d felt the truth of those words to my very bones.I just want you to be happy.
That had been the lie.
A year in, he’d slept with more women than I could name. I’d been on a few dates.We just want different things, I’d told myself. I’m looking for connection, for love, for something real. He’s just looking for something physical.
I’d been fine with it. Mostly.
Until he told me he was seeing a girl at my old high school. A girl who was stillinhigh school.
She’s eighteen, he’d argued.And she’s different. Like you. She’s so mature for her age.
He’d said the same thing about me, smiling at me on my eighteenth birthday. And I’d been too stupid to see him for what he really was.
I tear my eyes away from him, and settle another forced smile on my friends. Henry, Dylan, and Lani have left the game behind to come and tell me goodbye, Lani wrapping me up in a sweat-slicked embrace.
“I’m going to miss you, lady,” she murmurs against my hair.
I give a mirthless chuckle, and squeeze her back.
I’ve kissed her too, in a drunken moment of desperation a few weeks ago. I thought maybethatwas the answer to why I haven’t felt the smallest twinge of attraction to a living soul since I broke up with Steve. She had tasted like cherries and vodka and moaned hungrily into my mouth.
It should have been hot, but I just felt... nothing.
“I’m only going for the season,” I tell her when she finally releases me. “It’s just the winter season, and then I’ll be back.”
I give her a wide smile, force myself to meet her eyes. To look at the faces of all these wonderful people and smile. Wonderful people I’ve let down, time and time again.
Hopefully, a season will be long enough to undo everything I’ve done wrong.
Chapter1
Liam
“Right, everyone, this run is a free run,” I call out to the group of twenty would-be snowboard instructors, trying to inject a bit of pep into my voice. It falls flat, because I’m not a fucking cheerleader, and I’m about one coffee short for dealing with humans.
Especially newbs.
