Page 71 of Knot Her Cowboys
“We’ll do everything we can to make sure none of those happen, and if they do, those are bridges we can cross when we get there. The ranch is private property and we’ll put her on the blacklist.”
I nodded even though my brain wasn’t prepared to accept the idea at all. It kept screaming at me to run, to get as far away as I could and never come back. But all my trauma bucked up against my bond with Cash. I didn’t want to leave him…anyof them.
My mom had stolen them all from me once, and I wouldn’t let her take them from me again, no matter how much my heart raced when I thought about staying.
I wanted to go back to the ranch and bury myself in a pile of blankets, but it also seemed unfair to make Dakota’s trip into town a waste. “Let’s do the errands.”
His kiss was soft on the top of my head. “You’re sure?”
“Not really.”
“Well, at the very least, let’s get you your fancy coffee.” He got me buckled into the middle seat and slid into the driver’s side, lacing our fingers together as he brought the truck to life. We passed multiple cafés before he stopped at one that was well out of sight of the clerk’s office.
I felt steadier with a cup of frozen hot chocolate in my hands, a copious amount of whipped cream swirled on top. Sugar usually made me feel better, and today was no exception.
I sighed, turning to look up at him from where I’d curled up on his lap when I’d polished off the first third. “Okay, crisis mode has calmed down a bit. Upset, but not at immediate risk of a breakdown.”
I still wanted to crawl up inside his clothes and press every inch of our skin together. Maybe that was just an omega compulsion toward a scent match and not a stress response. Either way, I craved it.
“I promise to be a reasonable adult while we finish errands.”
“We can go back to the ranch,” he offered. “It’s not the end of the world if I have to come into town again.”
“No, it’s okay. I have a treat to babysit me.”
He eyed me with skepticism but relented for now. Most of the errands were simple pickups and I helped him load everything into the flatbed to work out my nervous energy. Cash called and texted about twenty times, trying to find out what was wrong after I had dropped an emotional bomb in the bond, but I just told him I was okay and we would talk about it when I got back. Dakota kept a steady gaze on me the whole time, and when we were finally on the road back, he pressed me to his side, wrapping his arm over my shoulder and coaxing me into talking.
“I’d like to fully understand the situation and what we’re dealing with. What did your mother do to make you go no contact?”
I shuddered, recalling the thousands of incidents. “She has a short temper, a sharp mouth, and a heavy fist. If I upset her growing up, anything could be a weapon: the TV remote became a projectile, extension cords became a whip. She wasalwaysyelling about something. Sometimes I wondered if she was just stuck on max volume because she made everything a fight. When she found out I slept with Cooper in high school, she called me a good-for-nothing whore because I went for a Harris boy and not one of the compound assholes chasing after me.”
I had a hundred more stories, easily, but I focused on hergreatest hits.
Dakota was tense the entire time I recounted the laundry list of bullshit and abuse my mother had put me through. “I’m so sorry you went through that and didn’t have the family you deserved. What she did was wrong.”
I shrugged, chewing my bottom lip to keep it from trembling.
“We’re not going to let her have access to you. We’ll put up a barrier so any vehicles coming in have to go through reception. Cash knows what she looks like, right?”
I nodded, still trying to control my stupid lip wobble.
“He can handle her, and we’ll let the staff know so everyone is prepared just in case. Once high season is over, we can keep the gate closed and people will have to use the doorbell on the gate to get through.”
“Feels kind of like a prison.”
“Temporarily,” Dakota assured me. “Morgan’s pack implemented similar measures at their hunting lodge to help her feel safe. If you find it doesn’t make a difference, we don’t have to do it, but I’ll tell you right now, the whole pack wants you to be safe with us, for however long you want to be there.”
“I don’t know. I hate having to look over my shoulder.”
“Riley, we’ll support whatever you need. I don’t want you to go anywhere, but if you’re not going to be happy here, we’ll figure something out. Cash has more than enough money to get you both situated elsewhere while we sell the ranch if it comes down to that.”
I nuzzled tighter into his arms, pressing my face to the curve of his throat. “I let her chase me away once. I’m not a little girl anymore and I don’t want her to do it a second time. You guys built the ranch together and I would feel like an absolute dick if I took that from you.”
“You wouldn’t be taking anything from us.”
I couldn’t get any closer to him, much as I might want to. Stupid traffic laws preventing me from crawling into his lap while he drove.
My mother wasn’t allowed to ruin this for any of us. I didn’t enjoy the idea that I could turn any corner and see her, but waking up to Cash in exchange for that particular anxiety seemed like a pretty good deal. Not to mention Dakota and Levi were fucking angels, both fully capable of ruining me in the best possible way. Cooper was still a stubborn motherfucker, though. He always had been. If he didn’t stop disappearing on me, I was going to have to tackle him into the fucking ground and force him to have a proper conversation about where we stood.
