Page 42 of Knot Her Cowboys
“Okay. Drive safe then.”
“I will.” I finished up my coffee and packed up the few things I’d brought, grabbing the flower crowns on my way just to torture myself a little more.
The drive was long and quiet, the cheerful flowers sitting atop my weekend bag, mocking me. Justonehint of her was all I asked for. Maybe the universe would take pity on me.
Who was I kidding? The universe didn’t give a shit.
The ranch was already bustling when I pulled around the back of the big house, slipping in quietly through the door. Silence met me inside, along with a sweet floral scent that lingered in the air and took my knees right out from under me. The crash of them against the floor was a sharp anchor as myanxiety threatened to pop my head clean off, to make my heart break right through my ribs.
Oh, good. A panic attack. Exactly what I needed right now.
Familiar and foreign all at once, the scent dug straight into the core of my being, taking up residence in the aching empty space.
What the fuck?
I braced my palms against the smooth wood, struggling to get my breathing under control. Leaving my bag where it was, I stumbled to my feet, using the wall for balance as I followed the scent up the stairs.
It was most potent outside Cash’s door, but lightly faded, hanging in the air like a ghost that called to me.
Politeness demanded I knock, but instinct wanted me to throw myself against the door and bust it open. I settled on the compromise of opening it silently, breath lodged in my throat.
A dark head popped up at the sudden invasion of light from the hall and my vision tunneled.
“Riley?” I croaked out.
She was here?
Cash sat up sharply, blinking clarity into his eyes.
“Cooper?” Riley reached for me, the blanket sliding down to reveal bare skin.
She wasnaked.
InCash’sbed.
Riley.
MyRiley…
I turned on my heel, desperate to be able to breathe again and knowing I couldn’t do so while seeing her there. I almost met my maker on the stairs, but the banister saved me as I recovered from the stumble and sprinted out into the early morning.
“Cooper!” Footsteps thundered after me, first Cash in only his underwear, then Riley wearing one of his T-shirts.
I swung before good sense caught up with me, pain radiating up my arm as I connected with Cash’s face. Riley shrieked the same time Cash grunted. “What the fucking fuck is the matter with you? What is she doing here?”
God, why did looking at her hurt so much? Her dark eyes were wide, her hair a ruffled mess tumbling over her shoulders, and her feet bare in the dirt.
“Cooper, stop! Please.” Riley put herself between Cash and me, shouting for Dakota and Levi. She looked at me with some horrific combination of fear and guilt, none of the lost love and desperate longing I had always hoped to see in her eyes when we met again. “Cashy, are you okay?”
He groaned, cupping his face. “I’ll survive.”
I slid to my knees, ice hardening in my veins, control of my body slowly relinquishing to the crushing panic.
Riley dropped into the dirt next to me, trying to force me to lift my head and see her, but I couldn’t. “Cooper, you look at me right now.”
I let the weight of my head drop into her hands and she forced it up. I had dreamed so long of her being here, touching me just like this, but it was nothing like I had imagined. All the pain of losing her coalesced into these few seconds, overwhelming in its potency.
Levi and Dakota arrived, both kneeling next to us.
