Page 59 of Knot Her Cowboys
“I promise.”
Giving things a real shot, laying down roots in the same place I had ripped them out, was a unique sort of terror. It was both the easiest thing I could do and the most difficult. I hadn’t so much healed my demons as I had run from them, and I couldn’t help but worry they would come to call sooner or later. Even standing back on this ground felt like I was summoning them somehow. Maybe the darkness inside them had sensed the moment my plane landed. I wouldn’t even be surprised at this point.
“What do you think of Dakota and Levi?”
“They seem like great people.”
Morgan eyeballed me when I rotated to lean against the fence next to her. “But?”
“No but. I’m a pretty big fan of both. Dakota is basically an angel helping me untangle the bullshit in my brain, and Levi saved my life, so I have no complaints.”
“Is the scent-matched part weird? I think it made the biggest difference for me, even if it was just to let my internal panic chill out enough to see the possibilities.”
“Iknowthe possibilities.” I was well aware of every delicious one, but it didn’t change the past. It had to work out with all four of the alphas in the pack, and I had to be willing to stay. I couldn’t be certain I’d feel safe enough doing that. Once upon a time Cooper would’ve stood between me and the world, but I couldn’t delude myself that he would still do that, couldn’t make assumptions thatanyof them would. They all deserved more than an omega prone to panic bolting.
Standing and fighting had never been my style unless I had no other choice. When my mom had acted up, I ran. If the Deckers got up in my business, I ran.
If I was lucky, Cash would come with me, save us both bonding sickness, but he was happy here and I didn’t want to take that from him.
“Well, I don’t want to use myself as an example, but I’m going to anyway,” Morgan said with a laugh. “We both know a pack wasn’t part of the plan for me, and now I can’t imagine life without them. The bonds keep me steady, and I’ve been through a fucking lot. When someone loves you the way my pack loves me, the way I know Cooper loves you, they don’t stop trying to make you feel safe. And it’s weird as all fucking hell at the start, and it takes time, but it’s worth it.”
“I believe you.” Mostly. Everyone kept telling me Cooper loved me, and maybe he did, but I was pretty sure I had hurt himtoo much for that to win out. There was no pack without Cooper. If it came down to that, he would probably try to do something self-sacrificing like leave the pack so the others could have me. I’d never forgive myself for that. “Give me some time to get my head on straight. I’ve had a lot of change really fast.”
“Time granted.” Morgan beamed at me.
“I’m really glad you came to visit. I swear I was going to come see you.”
“I know. I couldn’t stay away. As soon as they told me you were here, my pack was prepping to drive out. We have clients coming tomorrow so we can’t stay for too long, but any time is better than none.”
Muffin pawed her leg, both of us looking down to the dog when she let out a whine.
“Sweet girl, I’m okay.” Morgan dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms around Muffin. She glanced up at me. “She’s my therapy dog. Started off as a guard thing, but she’s super intuitive and lets me know when she thinks I’m getting agitated so I can step back and calm down.”
“I knew she was a good girl, but I didn’t know she was thebestgirl.” I patted Muffin on the head. “Am I stressing you out?”
“No, no, just big feelings.” Morgan kissed Muffin’s forehead and the dog slipped out of her arms, trying to herd her back the way we had come. “I guess it’s time to go back. Okay, okay, we’re going.”
I laughed as Muffin nudged Morgan along the trail, not satisfied until we’d returned to the alphas and Morgan was safely tucked among the members of her pack. They instantly doted on her, probably realizing why Muffin had brought her back.
“That was a short walk,” Cash said, slipping his arm over my shoulders. It was frankly a little ridiculous how that simple movement made my stomach flutter.
“We got bullied by the four-pawed cutie.”
“She does like to do that.” Ryder laughed, reaching down to pat Muffin’s head.
“Should we get you a dog with a taste for Decker?” Cash asked.
“I wouldn’t say no, but I do have my guard-mule, Grizzy, for that.”
“Very true, though she’s hard to take into town.”
“If you’re interested,” said Ryder, “my buddy back in DC runs the place we got Muffin. I could reach out for you.”
“Let’s not give me a pet quite yet. I don’t even know where I’m going to live.”
“You’ll live in the big house,” Cooper said, as if it was a done deal.
“You’re deciding that for me, are you?” I narrowed my eyes.
