Page 44 of Knot Her Cowboys
What did I do wrong?
“Because I didn’t deserve to see you. I didn’t know you worked here, and I didn’t know Cash was here when I booked the weekend. I was coming home as a gift to myself before leaving for what I thought would be forever. I couldn’t look at your face, knowing I had promised you I would come back and was doing nothing but leaving again.” She sighed, her whole body shaking, salt mixing with her floral scent, her tears soakinginto my hair. “I never deserved you, and I’m sorry you found out I was here this way. I went into a heat flare after the breakup and Cash took care of me. The bond was an accident. No one wanted to hurt you. We love you.”
I unraveled Riley’s limbs, despite her protests and stood sharply, backing away from all of them. “I need to go.”
Cooper didn’t look at a single one of us as he turned, walked around the back of the house, and got into his car. We all ran after him, but it didn’t stop him from driving away. My heart broke as the vehicle disappeared from sight.
Cash’s arms were around me instantly. “It’ll be okay. We’ll give him time to cool off.”
“I’ll call Morgan in case he goes back there. At least we’ll know he’s safe.” Dakota slipped back into the big house.
A ton of the staff were hovering around at a distance, watching discreetly, but I felt their eyes all the same.
“Cash, we fucked up.”
“He’ll come around,” Cash promised me. “Cooper is the king of crashing out, but we’ve learned it’s his way of coping. Once he gets his big feelings out of the way, he’ll be able to see things clearly.” He winced, touching his tender cheek. “Right now, though, I need to get some ice on this, and you need to get back to bed. You’ve only been down four hours and that’s not enough.”
“Bold of you to assume I can sleep after all that.”
“The adrenaline will wear off. Come on.” He kissed my cheek sweetly. “It’s my job as your brand-new alpha to make sure you’re taken care of.”
I wrinkled my nose.
“Also my job as your certified bestie. I can’t fix things with Cooper until he comes back, but I can take care of the person we both treasure.” He lookedsoearnest, I couldn’t help melting.
“Okay, consider me persuaded.” I let him guide me back inside after waving goodbye to Levi, who had to go back to his duties.
Dakota paused where we crossed paths in the house, leaning in close to kiss the top of my head. “I let Morgan’s pack know what happened and told them that you’re here. Try not to worry too much. Cooper’s coping strategies are running or working himself into the ground. He always comes home eventually after he bolts.”
I nodded, though I wasn’t particularly comforted.
“Get some more sleep.” Dakota planted another kiss on my hair, like he couldn’t help himself. “I imagine you’ll need it for when he comes back.”
Cash was right about the adrenaline wearing off. The moment I was horizontal and wrapped up in him, I was ready to give in.
My body might’ve slept, but my mind stayed in panic mode, dreams melting and twisting through the events of the morning, trying to process how much damage had been done.
I woke perfectly warm and snug in Cash’s arms, burying my face in the blankets infused with his cedar and sage. Exhaustion clung to me, but Cash’s steady purr worked damn hard to unravel my tension. He was totally asleep, but purring anyway.
I planted my face against his chest. “Why are you so fucking cute?”
He stirred slowly. “Hmm?”
“Purring in your sleep, all cuddled up on me. It’s almost like you like me or something.”
Cash laughed and rolled over, caging me with his body. “Pure speculation. What would give you an idea like that?”
He kissed me with a tenderness that made my chest ache and my thighs slide open. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that if I hadn’t left Montana I would’ve ended up in this exact position sooner or later. I’d always figured Cooper and Cash would form a pack at some point, though they hadn’t by the time I’d left, which probably had more to do with the fact that you weren’t allowed to register as one until everyone was a legal adult. I didn’t know their other packmates—I guessmypackmates now, too—well yet, but Dakota and Levi seemed like sweeties and we’d gotten along in the last few days. Plus, the whole life-saving thing and letting me sob like a baby in their arms had gone a long way to endearing them to me. Bruce hadn’t liked when I cried, butBryan had been good about getting me out of the apartment for some quiet time to recalibrate.
I’d cried on Cooper more times than I could count growing up. I hated that he found out I was back the way he had, that seeing me had shoved him into a whole-ass panic attack.
“Quit thinking so hard,” Cash ordered.
I could push back the crushing weight of despair over Cooper for a few minutes. I couldn’t change how everything happened, so I might as well not dwell when I had such a delicious distraction rocking away between my thighs.
“It’s only been a few hours. Are you already desperate for me again?”
“Says the woman dripping slick.” Cash slipped further down the bed, mouth taking slow samples across my skin, finding spots that made me twitch from ticklishness, and others that had me arching closer.
