Page 16 of Knot Her Cowboys
“I guess that’s fair. Does he think I’ll get weird if he talks about Cooper?”
“That’s something you would have to ask Cash.Wouldyou get weird?”
She pursed her lips. “I mean,probably, but it feels even more weird to not talk about him, you know?”
“Understandable. He’s the elephant in the room.”
Why did this conversation have to fall to me?
Riley sighed, setting aside one baking sheet and prepping another for more bacon. “When I planned this trip I’d half hoped to see them again while being terrified of that actually happening. Now that I’ve gotten to spend some time with Cash, it’s making me more homesick than I expected. Not for my actual home,” she clarified, “just a few of the people I left behind.”
“Who else would you want to see?”
“Definitely Morgan. She was a little burr stuck to us growing up and I miss her. Wouldn’t mind at least knowing what my half sister is up to. Not too keen on seeing most of the cousins face-to-face, but I never say no to gossip, you know? Make sure the best of them are okay.”
“Give me a list?” I offered. “I can update you if I’m familiar with any of them.”
“Maisie Combs?”
“The only Maisie I know is a Decker.”
Riley paled. “Are you shitting me right now?”
I blinked at her, not sure what I had said to upset her. “It might not be the same person.”
“She’s not with Paul, is she?”
I winced. “Unfortunately.”
“God fucking dammit. That little weasel picked on her all through elementary and middle school. I cannotbelieveshe’d get together with him.”
“Uh, well, this probably doesn’t make it better but the rumor mill is pretty sure he pulled some fucked-up shit to get her.”
Riley groaned, staring down at the pan she was working on. “I’m going to kill him. Maybe some nice buckshot to the chest.”
“As much as he’d deserve it, I’m pretty sure a murder conviction would inhibit you going to Berlin,” I pointed out.
“How much do you know about the Deckers?”
“Not much, and nothing good.”
“Exactly. One big pile of assholes. I’m technically one, but I pretend that’s not the case.”
“How are you only technically?”
“Because my mama fucked Big Daddy Decker’s right-hand man while he was married and bonded, got herself knocked up with me. Arlon Combs’ omega is a vicious woman, and her and Darlene, my mom, gotintoit. The Deckers couldn’t get them to chill so Darlene got ostracized by the other omegas on the compound and then got herself kicked out. God, sorry, that’s a lot of TMI personal history.”
“It’s all right,” I assured her. “I would imagine being back here is dredging up a lot of things you thought were long buried. It’s okay to be upset about them.”
She looked up at me with shiny eyes, and my heart squeezed at the pain there. Riley scrubbed her hands too hard beneath the tap. “I just thought I wasoverthis. Maybe I could only pretend I was healed because I wasn’t around any of this anymore.”
I rounded the island, turning off the water and pulling her into my arms, where she rested heavily against me. “Healing is complicated. When you’re back at the source, it’s easy for old wounds to tear open.”
“I wanted to be better by now.”
“Better, not perfect.” I cupped her head, letting my cheek rest against her hair. “Healing is a journey, and I promise it’s okay that you’re not at the end of yours yet. It takes time, and it’s often a lot more work than people expect. You already took a huge leap, feeling healed enough to come back to Montana.”
Riley sniffled, burying her face against my chest. “I never expected to miss it and hate it at the same time. There’s so much about this place that’s painful, and tons more I miss every day. I don’t want to feel like this and ruin it when I might never be able to come back.”
