Page 69 of These Wicked Games
I grin, leaning in and pressing my face into his hair and breathing him in. “Impossible,zayka.”
“If I find out that means something stupid, I’m going to punch you,” he whispers. I smile. “Go back to sleep, it’s too fucking early,” he groans against me.
I laugh a little; I can’t help it. This man is impossible to wake up. Engulfing him in my arms, I laugh harder as he struggles to get out of them. My fingers slide between his cheeks, tapping his hole. “Let me kiss it better.”
A throat clears.
My eyes snap open and I wrench my head up to see my best friend standing in my bedroom.What the hell!Instinctively I grab my comforter, pulling it around my naked body. Then I look over and cover Andre as he blinks himself awake before he realizes what’s happening.
“Grey—”
“Christ, Kuli,” is all he says before he turns and walks out of my bedroom, marching downstairs.No. No. No.This isn’t happening.
“Grey?” I can’t look at Andre. What the fuck am I doing? Holy shit, what have I done? Why is he here? Grey has a key, and he knows he’s always welcome to come right in. Why didn’t I think? I’m so stupid.
“Does he have a key?”
“You need to leave. Please.”
“What? Oli,I—”
“You need to get out.” I feel numb. How could we be so fucking stupid? I get out of bed, going to my dresser and grabbing sweats, pulling them on. Finding Andre’s sweats, I toss them in his direction.
“Oli, wait, it’s just Grey. I’m pretty sure he’s—”
“Get dressed and get out.” What am I going to do? “Please.” I just can’t deal with this right now.
Andre glares, getting up as I tug my sweats on. “Are you fucking serious right now? After everything, after last night! You really think Grey of all people will—”
“Please get out!” I snap my mouth shut. Fuck. I can’t think straight. My mind is a mess. I can’t meet his eyes and see the hurt in them; it may break me. I’m panicking and just need him out of here. I need to think. “I’m sorry. I need to deal with this. Alone.”
“You don’t have to deal with this alone, Oli. I’m here. We are—”
“Will you just get the fuck out!” I bite my tongue instantly, ashamed of the outburst. “Please.”
Shaking his head, Andre snatches his clothes off my floor and tugs them on. I can’t watch him. “You know what? Fuck you, Oli. You want to be alone, then be alone!” He shakes his head. I feel like I’m drowning. It’s only when I hear his receding footsteps that I look up.
I’m a coward.
What the hell am I going to do? Yes, Grey is my best friend, but this . . . this is . . . What? I’m not even sure myself. “Fuck.” Scrubbing a hand over my face, I get up, pulling on a shirt and only realizing as I slip it over my head it’s the one Andre wore last night. It smells like him.
God, I’m such an idiot.
Finally knowing I can’t put this off any longer, I march downstairs like a person going to their death. I walk into my kitchen where Grey stands at my island fixing me a shot of clear liquid. My good tequila? It’s only nine in the morning. “Grey, I—”
“Shut the fuck up, Oli. Sit.” He shakes his head, and I think I see him smirk. Slowly I walk over to the island and sit on a bar stool. I don’t know what to do. Why am I so afraid? He grabs his shot, bringing it to his lips, and he shakes his head, then tips it back. After pouring himself another, he holds mine out toward me.
With shaky fingers, I grab my glass, clinking it to his before we both take a shot. “Grey, I don’t know what I—”
“I’m gay.”
I freeze, um . . . “Wha-what?”
He pours himself another, downing it alone and shaking his head, grimacing a bit from the bite of the alcohol. “For so long I’ve been afraid to tell you. Like terrified. I was more afraid to come out to you than to my family. How fucked up is that? I knew you wouldn’t hate me, but I was so afraid to see disappointment or some stupid shit. I don’t know.”
“What? Why. . . Why would you think I’d care?” Even if my recently awakened sexuality is new to me, I’ve always supported queer people and players. I go to pride parades with the hockeyteam and donate money to organizations that help queer youth. I love pride nights for fuck’s sake! “How could you think that?”
He shakes his head, taking another shot. “Some people act like they support us, only to disappoint us when it’s time for them to actually be an ally. I was scared.” He sighs. “I’m sorry.”
