Page 99 of The Life She Could Have Lived
Nia clapped a hand to her mouth. ‘Shit, I forgot you knew him. That you two were?—’
‘Nothing. We were nothing. Send me the date, okay?’
Anna hugged Nia, and on the way out of the park, she tried to hug Theo, but he wriggled out of her grip and giggled, and she settled for blowing him a kiss. She walked home. It wasn’t all that far, from Clapham South to Tooting Bec, and the lightness the prosecco had brought on had gone and she knew it could turn into a headache. The fresh air would do her good. She thought about Steve, about how hearing he was getting married was a blow, even when she hadn’t seen him for a long time and knew he was in a committed relationship with Nia’s friend. Perhaps it would always be like that, with him. Perhaps they could have been something, in another life. But not in this one.
When she was about halfway home, near Balham Tube station, Anna saw a pair of children’s sunglasses and recognised one of the dogs from the programme Theo had been watching earlier. She picked them up and rested them on a brick wall, hoping the owner would come back and see them. She took some deep breaths, concentrated on the feeling of the early summer sunshine on her arms and face. Every so often, it disappeared behind a cloud, and each return felt like a promise of good days to come.
35
NO
Monday 5 June 2017
Anna looked at the woman in front of her. Jade. She was twenty-three, well-spoken, well-educated, keen. She had a degree in English Literature from a good university. She was the best candidate Anna had seen that day. But there was one more to go. She stood up and showed Jade out of the room, pointed her back in the direction of reception, and then she spent a couple of minutes gathering her thoughts before calling the receptionist to ask for the final candidate to be sent up.
While she waited, Anna finished her coffee and stood up to look out of the window. They were on the fifth floor, and she looked down at the busy Soho street below, the people like little Lego figures. When she heard a knock, she turned around and called for the candidate to come in. She had to hide her surprise when a woman of around forty entered the room. Every other interviewee had been in their early twenties.
‘Hello,’ she said, walking back over to the desk. ‘I’m Anna, Head of Publicity, thanksfor coming in.’
The woman reached out a hand and shook Anna’s. ‘Julia, nice to meet you.’
Anna asked the same questions she’d asked the others, and Julia answered well. She didn’t have experience, but then neither did any of those younger women. But she seemed to have done her research, to know what the job would entail and to be interested. What Anna really wanted to know was what she’d been doing for all those years since she’d graduated. Probably being a mum, she guessed. She wished she’d looked more closely at Julia’s CV.
‘Is there anything you want to ask me, or discuss?’ Anna asked, as she always did at the end of an interview.
Julia bit her lip, swallowed. ‘Sort of. I just wanted to say that I know most people go for this sort of job almost straight out of university. I know I’m not your typical candidate. I’ve been raising my three children for the past fifteen years and now that they’re a bit older, I want to reach out for the career I had planned before they came along.’
Anna nodded. She wasn’t sure what to say. And then suddenly, she was.
‘Do you think there are any skills that you’ve developed over your years as a mother that you could bring to this role?’
Julia smiled. ‘I do. Parenting teaches you about multi-tasking. Clearly the specifics are very different but once you’ve changed a baby’s nappy while also talking a four-year-old through putting his socks on and listening to a six-year-old read his school reading book, you’re not really fazed when someone asks you to do a couple of different things at once.’
Anna laughed. ‘I can imagine.’ She liked this woman, she realised. She could imagine working alongside her.
‘And resilience, too. Teaching a child to read or use the toilet or tell the time can be pretty soul-destroying. One day you thinkthey’re getting it, the next you’re back to the beginning. I’m used to having to keep trying until I get things right.’
‘Great,’ Anna said.
They both stood up, shook hands again. Anna sensed that Julia had something else to say, and she nodded encouragingly.
‘I hope you’ll give me a chance. I really feel like I could be a good fit for this role, and I would give it my all.’
‘Thank you,’ Anna said. ‘It was really nice to meet you.’
All afternoon, she thought it over. Jade would fit in better with the rest of the team, simply because of her age. But she really felt that Julia would be better at the job. It was a gut feeling, but that’s what she had always gone with in the past. By the time she left for the day, it was decided. She sent a quick email to HR before leaving, asking them to make the offer.
On her way out, she said goodnight to the receptionist, Bryony.
‘Interviews go okay?’ Bryony asked.
‘Yes, great, thank you. I think I found the right person.’
‘Perfect. Have a good evening.’
Anna felt a shiver of sadness. Sometimes, when she’d had a busy, productive day, she forgot that she was going home to an empty flat. And when it struck her, often as she turned the key in her front door, she had to fight against a wave of dread, had to force herself to make something more than toast for dinner, to go to bed earlier than one in the morning. It was a struggle, still.
She made her way to the Tube, let herself be pushed along by the crowd. Down the escalator, onto the hot, busy platform. She stepped onto a train, jostled her way to the middle of the carriage. A teenage boy touched her arm.
