Page 55 of The Life She Could Have Lived
When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Edward called out that dinner was ready, and she saw that he’d set the table and bought a nice bottle of wine and there was a small, square box next to her wine glass.
‘What’s this?’ she asked.
He was serving up pasta into two bowls.
‘Happy anniversary,’ he said, handing one of them to her and leaning forward to kiss her lips.
‘I thought you’d forgotten,’ she said.
He pretended to be wounded and then laughed. ‘Ten years,’ he said, and they were both quiet as they sat down. Anna was thinking about what a length of time that was, and how they’d spent it, and she wondered whether Edward was doing thesame. Whether he had regrets, or thought about a different kind of life.
Anna reached for the box and flipped it open. Inside, there was a ring. Not an eternity ring, to be worn with her engagement and wedding rings. It was a delicate band with a tiny knot that looked a little bit like a heart. She looked up and saw that Edward was watching her.
‘I just saw it and thought you might like it,’ he said, and there was something almost timid in his tone, and Anna thought how funny it was, that after more than a decade with someone, you could still see a side you didn’t expect.
‘I do,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’ She slipped it onto the ring finger on her right hand and held her hand up to admire it. It was lovely. Elegant. Perhaps more the woman she’d like to be than the woman she was.
‘I have to tell you something,’ she said. ‘I didn’t get the job. And I walked out.’
Edward put a hand to his forehead. ‘I forgot to ask, I’m sorry. Wait, you walked out?’
Was he annoyed? The money he earned was more than enough for them to live on. And hadn’t he always wanted her to give up work?
‘Yes. I’m just fed up of being relied on but not valued. I work hard for them and I’m good, and it’s not enough.’
Edward smiled. ‘Good for you.’
Anna was pleased that he didn’t ask her whether she had a plan, what she was going to do next.
‘I’ll find something else,’ she said.
‘You don’t have to,’ he said. ‘But if you want to, I know you will.’
He held up his glass then, and Anna picked up hers. ‘Here’s to the next ten years,’ he said.
19
NO
Friday 5 June 2009
Anna made sure she was the last in the office, and hated herself for doing so. When Sarah asked if she fancied a drink, she shook her head and said she had something to finish off. She tidied up a couple of spreadsheets and replied to some emails that had been hanging around for days, knowing David would emerge from his office eventually. When he did, she didn’t look up.
‘Anna,’ he said. ‘I didn’t realise you were still here. Don’t you have a home to go to?’
It was a lame joke and she didn’t laugh.
‘Have you spoken to Deborah yet?’ she asked.
David ran a finger along the gap between his lower lip and his chin, and Anna thought about the last time they’d kissed.
‘Come into my office,’ he said, jerking his head in that direction as if she might not know where his office was.
She followed him, saying nothing. Anna sat in a chair and he sat on his desk, facing her. Too close.
‘I haven’t spoken to Deborah yet because Iwanted to be sure you were making the right decision. But if you’re absolutely sure, I’ll call her. I know she’ll have you back in a heartbeat. Someone just went on maternity over there and…’
‘Yes,’ Anna said. ‘Please. Call her. I want to know where I stand, whether I should give notice on my apartment.’
