Page 61 of The Day Shelley Woodhouse Woke Up
‘What?’
‘I like the greens and yellows, and you like the oranges, purples and reds.’
‘Perfect,’ I say.
The last thing he’s brought is a colouring book and some pencils, and we pass twenty minutes or so colouring a picture of a robot together. He’s the project manager, telling me whichbits to do and in which colour. He shakes his head if I go outside the lines. Dee sits back and watches us, and I know it must have made her happy, this relationship I’ve clearly built with her child. I am determined to keep it going, to not let it slip.
And then something comes to me, as I’m looking down at his crown, at his dark hair spiralling out from this centre. I hold my breath, trying not to let it disappear, the way dreams are sometimes snatched away on waking. I am colouring with Callum. There are dinosaurs scattered on the floor, and Dee comes into the room with a tea and a ham sandwich for me, tells Callum there’s one for him on the table, and he runs off to get it.
‘I remembered,’ I say, and Dee flicks her eyes over to meet mine.
‘What?’
‘Just a flash, playing with Callum, you bringing us sandwiches.’
‘Where were we?’
‘Your place, I guess? There were dinosaurs on the floor.’
‘There are always dinosaurs on the floor,’ she says. ‘That’s brilliant, Shelley. Hopefully that will start to happen more and more.’
Callum is watching this exchange, his head swivelling back and forth. ‘Was it me? Was it me bringing the dinosaur and the colouring that made the memory come back?’
I beam at him. ‘I think it was. Will you come again?’
He nods his head, over and over. Soon after that, it’s time for them to go. I say that I’ll walk them to the door, but in the time it takes me to get up and out of bed, Callum’s gone back and forth to the door at least seven times.
‘Thank you for bringing him,’ I say to Dee, before they leave. ‘It means a lot, to see you both.’
She pulls me in for a hug, and I breathe in the scent of her. She smells more like home to me than any place.
Ten minutes after she leaves, Jamie appears, wheeling his blood pressure monitor, humming. ‘Did you know the Queen died?’
I flick my eyes towards him. ‘No.’
‘Last year. We’ve got King Charles now. Big Coronation party, all that.’
I know the Queen was getting on, so I’m not sure why this news shakes me as much as it does. ‘It’s disorienting,’ I say. ‘To know I must have known that, and I’ve forgotten it.’
Jamie stops what he’s doing and looks at me. ‘I can’t imagine.’
‘But you must see people like me all the time, working on this unit?’
‘All the time. But every case is different. Some people wake up with a different personality, or not recognising their own parents, or constantly shouting and swearing. It’s devastating, but it’s fascinating, too. I love working here. I love finding out more about how the brain works.’
I am silent, because I don’t know what to say. And Jamie seems to sense that it’s time for a change of subject.
‘Is your friend coming in today?’
‘Dee?’
‘No, the cute, scruffy guy who comes to see you.’
I think about Matt, about how he is cute, about whether he is really my friend, and whether I’ll see him again. When Jamie leaves my bedside, I reach for the phone Dee brought. I’d forgotten how clunky these things were, and it takes me ages to add him as a contact. Then I spend several minutes composing a text, and send it before I can change my mind.
Hi, it’s Shelley, from the hospital. I’m sorry for the way I was earlier. Please call in next time you’re here.
I turn the phone over to stop myself watching it for a reply. It might be a while before I see him, and days feel like weeks in here. I go for a walk around the corridors, trying to get my strength up, and when I get back to my bed, I can’t resist turning the phone back over, and there’s a message from him. I try not to pay too much attention to the way my heart lifts when I see his name.
