Page 90 of The Day Shelley Woodhouse Woke Up
‘We could. Tonight?’
I don’t need to check my diary. I have no plans whatsoever. ‘Tonight.’
And then I close my eyes and I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, we’re pulling up outside Dee’s house. I stretch and yawn, shake my head to try to wake myself up. Everything feels just a little foggy.
‘I’ll pick you up at eight,’ Matt says, and I lean across the space between us in the car and kiss his cheek.
I can tell he wasn’t expecting it, and he holds his hand to the place where I kissed him, as if he wants to preserve it somehow. It makes me feel like the sun has broken through the clouds.
I spend as long getting ready as I used to when I was going on a first date. Because that’s what it is, in a way. Matt and I are married, but this feels very much like a fresh start. I choose a jumpsuit with a floral print, white trainers. I put gold hoop earrings in my ears and a delicate chain with a gold ‘S’ on it around my neck. I put my hair up, take it down again. I do my makeup, concentrating on making my eyes stand out. And after all of it, when I look in the mirror at the full effect, I get a bit of a shock. Because here I am. Shelley Woodhouse. No longer lost, or confused. Nobody’s patient or victim. Ready to go for a drink with the best man I know.
We don’t go to the Pheasant, and I’m glad. I don’t want to be watched or talked about. I want to be in a pub where no one knows me, where I am just another customer, where I have never stood on the other side of the bar. Matt chooses a quiet bar with a long list of colourful cocktails and asks whether I’m drinking.
‘They didn’t say I shouldn’t, but I might not. Just to be on the safe side.’
He orders non-alcoholic cocktails for both of us, and then we take them and slide into a booth, side by side. Not a soul in earshot. ‘I’ve missed you,’ I say.
He cocks his head in a way that asks me to explain what I mean. Because he’s been here, hasn’t he, all this time? Even when he had to conjure up a different persona to do so.
‘I got so lucky with you, and I know I forgot all about that, but I think I knew that something was missing.’
‘I missed you too,’ he says. ‘It was so weird acting like we didn’t know each other, like I didn’t love you.’
‘There’s one thing I was sad about, when I realised it wasn’t 2017.’
He looks serious, a little pale. ‘What’s that?’
‘That I don’t have a cat any more.’
I watch him relax. ‘We can get a cat.’
‘You’re allergic,’ I say.
And that is what it takes for him to know I’m fully here, fully back. That I remember it all, from the foods he doesn’t like to the places he wants to go.
‘Iamallergic.’
I wave a hand. ‘It’s fine. I’d rather have you than a cat.’
‘Well, good. Another?’ He gestures at my empty glass.
‘I’ll get them,’ I say.
When I return to the booth, it’s with a question I can’t believe I haven’t thought about until now. I suppose my brain has had enough work to do.
‘What’s happened to the shelter? Did it have to close while I’ve been away?’
‘No,’ Matt says. ‘Annabelle’s looking after it.’
Annabelle. At first, her name in his mouth doesn’t make sense. Annabelle was my childhood friend, and we drifted apart after she went to university and I stayed here. But then it comes back, like a shift from blurriness to sharp focus. Of course. Three months after we opened the doors, a familiar face came walking through them, with a six-month-old baby in her arms. And once we’d got her back on her feet and talked about the relationships we’d fallen into and how they had broken us, once we’d caught each other up on the years we’d been apart, it was like old times. But better, because we were on a level footing, and there were none of the games she liked to play when we were younger. She stayed on, first as a volunteer and then, when she was able to, as my second in command. Sometimes Dee jokes about me choosing to work with my old best friend over her, my newerone. But I know she isn’t threatened. Annabelle and I will never be as close as we once were, and Dee and I are rock solid. But it’s good to have Annabelle back. She understands the parts of my past I find it hard to look directly at.
‘Is she okay on her own?’ I ask.
‘Well, I’ve been helping, and we haven’t taken in anyone new. She’s been fine. That said, I know she’s looking forward to you coming back. I asked her not to visit because of how confused you were about everything, but she’s dying to see you.’
‘I’ll go there tomorrow.’
‘Just for a visit, though, right? Don’t go in there and start working.’
