Page 79 of The Day Shelley Woodhouse Woke Up
‘Well,’ Mum says, once we’ve put her folded clothes away in a chest of drawers that’s slightly uneven and missing a handle. ‘You probably want to be on your way.’
I look at Matt but I can’t read his expression. ‘We can stay as long as you want, Mum. We could go out for something to eat, see what the city’s like?’
‘No, I can eat here. Better get used to it.’
She brought some food with her, but not a lot. Teabags, a few tins of soup, some crisps and biscuits.
‘How about I go out for some fresh stuff? Milk, bread, cheese, that sort of thing. You can make me a list if you want.’ Matt is being so helpful, but I feel a flash of worry about him leaving me alone with her for the hour or so it would take him to complete this task. It’s been so long since we spent any real time together, and there’s something about this room that makes me feel claustrophobic.
‘I can do that,’ she says. ‘Honestly, you go.’
Matt gives me a shrug and we grab our jackets and head for the stairs.
‘Will you be all right?’ I ask in the hallway. There’s a piece of wallpaper that’s starting to come away in the corner, and I want somewhere better for her. Somewhere that is her own, with no Rosemary and no locks on the kitchen cupboards.
‘Yes,’ she says, but her eyes look frightened.
It’s hard to walk away, to not bundle her back into the car and take her home. But it’s for her safety, I remind myself. It’s for her.
We’re subdued on the drive home. Matt’s at the wheel; I’m in the passenger seat.
‘She’ll be okay,’ he says after a lull in conversation.
‘I just hate that she’s ended up there, after setting herself up with a life. I hate how much he’s taken from her.’
‘I know. Me too. But she’s better off in a slightly dingy houseshare than at home and in danger.’
‘I wonder whether he knows yet, that she’s gone.’
He shrugs. ‘I expect we’ll get a visit later. Or maybe tomorrow.’
I think about seeing him, about how much I hate him, and I decide that if he comes in the pub, I’ll bar him for life. I almost hope he does, just so I can get some of this rage out. I feel full with it, itchy and bloated.
When we get home, he is there already. Standing at the bar with a pint in his hand. Dee flashes me an apologetic look and I know that she didn’t know what to do for the best.
‘Where is she?’ he asks, and I can tell from his voice that he’s already had three or four drinks.
‘Who?’ Matt asks.
Mick goes for him then. Lunges forward with his fist swinging, but he trips and Matt dodges out of the way, and Mick ends up on the floor.
‘Am I supposed to believe it’s a coincidence that you’ve been off out somewhere and Tina’s disappeared?’ He scrambles to his feet.
I look at him. ‘Disappeared?’
‘Oh, fuck you both.’ He sweeps an arm around the pub. Everyone has stopped talking and turned to look. ‘Fuck the lot of you.’
He storms out and I watch him leave. Gradually, the hum of conversation starts up again, gets back to its usual level. Matt puts his arms around me and I let myself be held, there on the wrong side of the bar.
‘Good day? Other than him?’ Dee asks, and I know she’s really asking if it’s true. If I was lying when I said Matt and I fancied a trip to the seaside. If I was really getting my mum away from danger.
‘Good day,’ I say.
It’s safer for her if she doesn’t know. That’s what I need to remember.
‘Did you bring me back a stick of rock?’
‘No rock,’ I say.
