Page 153 of The Gods Veiling
“Why are you keeping it from them?”
“Why are you?”
“I literally just told you. After the Veiling, I sensed my soul in Kyzen and tried to snatch it back to me. It felt like I was going to die. I had no intentions of any of you knowing in case you could do that to me.”
He examines me slowly and I force my body not to squirm. “We could. They could if they knew, but they wouldn’t do that.”
“But you would?”
His stillness causes me to shift my feet into a better position. Now I’m the one preparing for him to pounce on me.
“Not intentionally, no. I haven’t told them because I plan to get it out of them before it becomes too attached.”
“Could you not talk about my soul like it’s a fucking parasite?”
He throws his hands up and takes a step into my space. I want to step back, but I refuse to. “That’s exactly what it is. It’s surviving by clinging to ours. I’m trying my fucking hardest to figure out how to separate it and return it to you whole before it embeds itself so deep there’s no unweaving it.”
My breath rushes out of me and naturally, I rub my chest. “You…want to make it whole again?”
“Yes,” he growls. “I have no clue who or what any of us will become if I don’t. So could you just quit fucking pushing me and let me figure this out? Don’t tellmy brothers, don’t get any closer to them than you have to, and don’t tug on it again.”
My blood heats from his shitty tone and order. “I want to know why you don’t want them to know. This feels like we’re crossing into taking their choices away from them territory and I don’t like it.”
“It’s your soul, not theirs. That’s where the choice ends.”
It’s my turn to throw my hands up and step closer to him. “But you think it’s your choice to make it whole again? You can’t stand me that much, you believe you just get to make this decision. Just another god who gets to tamper with my soul without my permission.”
How many times can a person survive having their soul rearranged?
He doesn’t shout. He doesn’t scream at me. Even worse, he leans so low our breaths mingle and all I smell is him. The remnants of the loaf of bread he baked this morning still cling to him. It’s such a confusing concoction. He smells delicious, but the look on his face could poison my blood.
I can’t control the rapid rise and fall of my chest as his whisper fans across my lips.
“Yes, Thayla. Yes, I do, because I know what a fucking soul needs and what a god needs to survive. You need to be whole so you can fucking live. That’s why I stay away from you. So your soul doesn’t grow attached to mine. There’s your god’s honest truth I was trying to protect you from. I didn’t want you walking around in fear that you’re just going to drop dead, but you’re going to die if you aren’t made whole. Derivius thought our souls could take care of and nurture yours, but I don’t believe we can.”
That reality slaps me stunned. My whole body freezes and I can’t even get my eyes to blink. He takes a few large steps away from me, shakes his head, and stomps toward the opening of the Court.
I don’t follow. I can’t. Air refuses to fill my lungs.
“Der-Derivius. Tell me what he just said isn’t true. Tell me you didn’t put my soul in them, knowing I could die.”
Silence greets me.
“Answer me, damn it, or this really will be the last fucking time you ever hear from me.”
“Creed and I have very differing opinions on this, little troublling. I have all the faith in the realm that you and your soul will survive. Thrive even. He has his own fears that cloud him from seeing it. Don’t let his fears influence yourown. I, and many others, would’ve never agreed to this if we thought you’d die. I swear that on the Valories.”
My hands grip my knees as I force my lungs to cooperate. My mind whirls over both of their words. It’s a dizzying flood of emotions that I can’t seem to get under control. I don’t know which god to believe, nor do I know what to do from here.
Anger burns through every fiber of my being that a decision of this magnitude was made for me.
Him, probably the Valories, my…my fucking parents.
How dare they?
I take staggering steps back down the hallway and out of the Court. My head tilts toward the sun as I calm the turmoil racing inside of me.
“What’s the matter, angel? Do I need to go in there and wipe the floor with ol’ Daddy Gladdy’s ass?”
