Page 204 of The Gods Veiling
Ugh.
The only logical explanation I have is this is all my soul’s fault. Since it’s making a home in all four of them, that’s the one reasonable excuse as to why I’m emotionally and physically attracted to my whole Valtrue.
I can think of more excuses, but then I just feel like I’m doing something wrong by liking multiple men. It’s hard, though, and it’s making me crazy right now. Kyzen and Amick, I can give myself more grace about. I’m with the two ofthem more than the others and they make me feel different things for different reasons.
Creed and Riven, I don’t even want to examine.
They’re both incredibly wishy-washy and it confuses the hell out of me. One minute, Creed’s being all mysterious and sexy, even going as far as praising me in training. The next, he’s avoiding me like my soul is plaguing him.
Riven, I just never know. Most of the time he’s being flirty or an asshole. Sometimes he combines the two. I’ve seen glimpses of the other part of him, though. That’s a side I’d like to drag to the surface and explore every inch of.
I was so worked up when I stormed from the office, all I could do was hold my hand up to the three of them when I found them waiting literally a few feet from the door. It felt like I was taking the walk of shame.
Yemi could see it all over my face something was wrong. I couldn’t explain anything to her, Lambrit, or Rose as they each stared at me. I just told her I needed some time alone and to enjoy her day doing whatever she wanted.
I grip my pillow and attempt to smother myself with it. Not really, but I do hold it there to muffle my frustrated scream just in case someone’s here.
Gods, how am I ever going to be able to face them?
I just want us all to pretend I never busted in there asking what I asked.
A muffled shout reaches my ears when I stop my own shrieking. I lie still to listen for it again but sit straight up when I realize it’s not coming from within my house. It’s outside the back door.
I sling my legs over the side of my bed and creep toward the curtains.
“You’re going to the healing villas or telling her. Decide, Yemi.”
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do right now.”
Yemi’s high-pitched shriek at Havar has my body moving before I can even think it through. As soon as I sling my door wide, I hear her gasp from around the corner and when I round it, she turns her back to me.
“Havar, what the fuck are you yelling at her about?”
“Don’t come out here yelling at me, Thayla. This is partially your damn fault.”
“Stop it right now. It is not,” Yemi yells and my head twitches between them.
“My fault? I didn’t do anything. I’ve been in my room for the last hour.”
“Turn around and tell her, or I will.”
Yemi’s head drops low and my heart crawls into my throat. I want to cuss Havar all the way out for talking to both of us the way he is right now, but I’m not dumb. That’s not normal anger in his tone. It’s hurt, fear, and probably a touch of really being pissed.
Impossibly slow, Yemi turns. I see red.
It could just be because her eye is red and nearly swollen shut or it could be the fury coursing through me because of that. Probably both.
“Who the fuck did that?”
“I’m not talking about it if you’re going to freak out.”
Going to freak out? Going to? I already am.
I’m planning someone’s death.
Her unswollen eye says a thousand things. One of them being she means that. If I freak out, she’s going to go all silent mode on me, and I won’t ever get the truth out of her.
I take a deep, unhelpful breath. “I won’t freak out.”
